Chip's Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Timeless"FanStory Collection
66 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Congratulations on having your 5-7-5 so well received in the contest. I think most of us can relate to the rapidly flowing "sands of time". I enjoyed your coupling it with the "castles" metaphor. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Congratulations on having your 5-7-5 so well received in the contest. I think most of us can relate to the rapidly flowing "sands of time". I enjoyed your coupling it with the "castles" metaphor. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 24-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Thank you, Joan!
Comment from john mallahan
So nice...Reminds of what I keep on calling "the old days", that seems to translate into many pasts now. Remember, taking the kids to the beach, and seeing those very castles. Course, we had had them @ the Bay as well...
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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So nice...Reminds of what I keep on calling "the old days", that seems to translate into many pasts now. Remember, taking the kids to the beach, and seeing those very castles. Course, we had had them @ the Bay as well...
Comment Written 23-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2019
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Thank you, John!
Comment from Joy Graham
Hi Chip,
I enjoyed reading your little 5-7-5 poem today. You have the right amount of syllables in each line. You got me with your aha moment. This is like when life throws you lemons, make lemonade. Here you take control of the sands of time and make a sand castle. Excellent thinking!
Best wishes in the contest.
Joy xx
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Hi Chip,
I enjoyed reading your little 5-7-5 poem today. You have the right amount of syllables in each line. You got me with your aha moment. This is like when life throws you lemons, make lemonade. Here you take control of the sands of time and make a sand castle. Excellent thinking!
Best wishes in the contest.
Joy xx
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Thanks, Joy.
Comment from Benny Beeharry
Hi this is a beautiful thought. But neither the sand nor time will ever stop and if they do not, the castle will never be made. No dream. For even dreams are like time and sand.they move and move and move. Think of the number of civilizations that had been covered by sand ,swallowed by time and so many dream bubbles bust. I know it is all writing, but do not count on ephemeral things.
Benny
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Hi this is a beautiful thought. But neither the sand nor time will ever stop and if they do not, the castle will never be made. No dream. For even dreams are like time and sand.they move and move and move. Think of the number of civilizations that had been covered by sand ,swallowed by time and so many dream bubbles bust. I know it is all writing, but do not count on ephemeral things.
Benny
Comment Written 19-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Thanks for weighing in, Benny!
Comment from the13thpoet
Good job my good man unfortunately the sands of time stop for no one. We can only hope and live in the moment, at least that's just what I think. Anyway keep sharing your talent.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Good job my good man unfortunately the sands of time stop for no one. We can only hope and live in the moment, at least that's just what I think. Anyway keep sharing your talent.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Thank you!
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements splendidly with a correct line and syllable count. The theme is universal since all people which to tame time in one manner or another. If line 2 did not end with "and" (generally considered to be a rather lazy segue) it would be flawless. Good luck in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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This meets the contest requirements splendidly with a correct line and syllable count. The theme is universal since all people which to tame time in one manner or another. If line 2 did not end with "and" (generally considered to be a rather lazy segue) it would be flawless. Good luck in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2019
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Thanks, Angel.
Comment from victor 66
Many years ago when I was visiting my son, who was stationed in Europe, I watched for an hour this young man working on a sand drawing near the Arch of Triumph. I don't know how much time the young man worked on it, but it was many hours beyond what I observed. It was not only amazing how well it was done, but it was also amazing that it would only exist for a few hours, till a wind came along. That's real art. Your last line, "briefly make you mine", is all too fitting for such art. Best wishes, Chip.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2019
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Many years ago when I was visiting my son, who was stationed in Europe, I watched for an hour this young man working on a sand drawing near the Arch of Triumph. I don't know how much time the young man worked on it, but it was many hours beyond what I observed. It was not only amazing how well it was done, but it was also amazing that it would only exist for a few hours, till a wind came along. That's real art. Your last line, "briefly make you mine", is all too fitting for such art. Best wishes, Chip.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2019
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And how glorious it must have been for those few hours! Thanks for sharing that, Victor.
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I think you're right, Chip. When it comes to art, it's for doing rather than the admiration that it brings. You're welcome.
Comment from MissMerri
I thought this was especially creative and fun... to think of building castles from the sands of time. I've never seen such an idea before, so you get extra points for surprising me with a new idea. This is sure to do well in the contest I believe. Nice one!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2019
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I thought this was especially creative and fun... to think of building castles from the sands of time. I've never seen such an idea before, so you get extra points for surprising me with a new idea. This is sure to do well in the contest I believe. Nice one!
Comment Written 17-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2019
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Thank you for the kind words and generous rating, Merri, I appreciate it!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed reading your contest entry, Chip. Good job with the syllable count per line and the image. Your words make readers think and, also, create great imagery. Unfortunately, we cannot stop time from moving forward and must settle to enjoy each day with our loved ones. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Jan
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2019
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I enjoyed reading your contest entry, Chip. Good job with the syllable count per line and the image. Your words make readers think and, also, create great imagery. Unfortunately, we cannot stop time from moving forward and must settle to enjoy each day with our loved ones. Thanks for sharing and best wishes. Jan
Comment Written 17-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2019
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Thank you, Jan!
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are creative, fun and descriptive. I remember
camping on the beach and admiring the sand castles. I found the last
line of this poem to say so much. The artwork compliments the words
and theme of this poem well.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2019
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The author's words are creative, fun and descriptive. I remember
camping on the beach and admiring the sand castles. I found the last
line of this poem to say so much. The artwork compliments the words
and theme of this poem well.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2019
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Thank you, Harmony!