Lessons in the Key of Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Butterball Gottlieb"A music and dance teacher's improvization
22 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written flash-fiction. When a student does not have interest in piano lessons and have nop plans to practice to become perfect there is no use in continuing with the lessons and definitely not for a rude child like this.
reply by the author on 22-May-2019
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A very well-written flash-fiction. When a student does not have interest in piano lessons and have nop plans to practice to become perfect there is no use in continuing with the lessons and definitely not for a rude child like this.
Comment Written 22-May-2019
reply by the author on 22-May-2019
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It's not fiction, though. This honest-to-gawd happened!! You're absolutely right: this child had NO business taking lessons! It was a total waste of her parents' money. Thanks for this validating review!! xo
Comment from Lori S.
This is great! What a snotty little brat! "And her little dog too!" Nasty little cretons both! You're better off without them. I hope you stopped long enough to put one of those heels in the little demon's eye! Nicely written and good descriptive language. Great job! I'm sure you have lots of stories like this! Teaching is not always the joy it's made out to be...
reply by the author on 21-May-2019
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This is great! What a snotty little brat! "And her little dog too!" Nasty little cretons both! You're better off without them. I hope you stopped long enough to put one of those heels in the little demon's eye! Nicely written and good descriptive language. Great job! I'm sure you have lots of stories like this! Teaching is not always the joy it's made out to be...
Comment Written 21-May-2019
reply by the author on 21-May-2019
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Hahaha - good one, Lori ("and her little dog, too!") This story is from my book, Lessons in the Key of Life," which is stories I've accumulated and the lessons I've learned from the lessons I've taught. Check the others out, too. I post one per week.
I really liked your review and appreciate all your feedback. Thank you. xo
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Will do!
Comment from LG Wolfe
This is my favourite so far in a stellar series. Your seemingly innocuous lines are hilarious, 'it's because you wear hats,' and 'none of whom practised very often.' Sooooo good Rachelle. I'm sure I've said this before but there are tons of lit journals who focus on creative non-fiction these days. Thanks for keeping me laughing!
reply by the author on 20-May-2019
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This is my favourite so far in a stellar series. Your seemingly innocuous lines are hilarious, 'it's because you wear hats,' and 'none of whom practised very often.' Sooooo good Rachelle. I'm sure I've said this before but there are tons of lit journals who focus on creative non-fiction these days. Thanks for keeping me laughing!
Comment Written 20-May-2019
reply by the author on 20-May-2019
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Thank you for your review, Lisa!
Comment from susand3022
Oh No!!! You poor thing, Rachelle!!! (I have to admit to chuckling a little... sorry) ;) But, stilettos? Are there cute dads on the rout or something? I'd certainly be wearing low heels, maybe even flats. You're going to be hating yourself later on... believe me! (I used to be able to do heels! How I miss the days that my legs used to look pretty!)
reply by the author on 20-May-2019
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Oh No!!! You poor thing, Rachelle!!! (I have to admit to chuckling a little... sorry) ;) But, stilettos? Are there cute dads on the rout or something? I'd certainly be wearing low heels, maybe even flats. You're going to be hating yourself later on... believe me! (I used to be able to do heels! How I miss the days that my legs used to look pretty!)
Comment Written 20-May-2019
reply by the author on 20-May-2019
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I don't know, Susan; I'm 62 and still wearing them! Perhaps all my years of dancing and choreographing play a part in my need to be up high on my arches. All I know is I have NO intention of stopping...and my feet do NOT hurt. As my husband contends, I am a freak of Mother Nature.
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You ARE a freak of nature... and I sooo envy you!!! LOL
Comment from Louise Michelle
I sure hope you're exaggerating this, Rachelle. What a brat! Well, you certainly showed your great sense of humor in writing about this little scenario. Good job, girl! Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 20-May-2019
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I sure hope you're exaggerating this, Rachelle. What a brat! Well, you certainly showed your great sense of humor in writing about this little scenario. Good job, girl! Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 20-May-2019
reply by the author on 20-May-2019
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I swear, Louise, it is TOTALLY true!! NO exaggeration!! Worst. Piano Lesson Moment. Ever!
Thanks for the review. You know I always love your feedback. xo
Comment from Alex Rosel
I enjoy reading your memoir snippets. They are so obviously based on the truth, and you have a gentle humor that enhances the situations. Thank you for your posts.
Here are a few things you might like to consider:
Butterball Gottlieb was a short, high-strung floppy-haired sort who snarled and bared his little teeth at me each and every week when I arrived to teach piano lessons to the children of the house. -- I find this clunky. Personally, I think too much is going on in this sentence. The dog's description; the dog's aggressiveness; your piano lesson schedule.
Then she elevated her chin and gave me a taunting look. -- If the narrative follows a natural chronology, most time-modifiers are redundant and detract from the pace of the prose. Your use of then here is one such example.
Lesson: Under the right circumstances, anyone can set world land records for speed--even in three-and-a-half-inch stiletto heels. -- Ha, ha. I love this ending.. :)
reply by the author on 20-May-2019
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I enjoy reading your memoir snippets. They are so obviously based on the truth, and you have a gentle humor that enhances the situations. Thank you for your posts.
Here are a few things you might like to consider:
Butterball Gottlieb was a short, high-strung floppy-haired sort who snarled and bared his little teeth at me each and every week when I arrived to teach piano lessons to the children of the house. -- I find this clunky. Personally, I think too much is going on in this sentence. The dog's description; the dog's aggressiveness; your piano lesson schedule.
Then she elevated her chin and gave me a taunting look. -- If the narrative follows a natural chronology, most time-modifiers are redundant and detract from the pace of the prose. Your use of then here is one such example.
Lesson: Under the right circumstances, anyone can set world land records for speed--even in three-and-a-half-inch stiletto heels. -- Ha, ha. I love this ending.. :)
Comment Written 20-May-2019
reply by the author on 20-May-2019
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Thank you for the time and thought that went into these edits. I agree with them all and will make changes later this afternoon, before I leave for pm lessons. I appreciate your help very much, Alex. xo
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You're welcome. Kepp up with these posts; I'm enjoying reading them :)
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I totally appreciate that. Thank you. xo
Comment from A. Willow Bends
OMG I am out of sixes. This is horrendous, funny, sad, hilarious, all of the above. How did you not leave with certain fingers in the air? And I am not talking index here. Great little chapter. LOVE this.
Wendy
reply by the author on 19-May-2019
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OMG I am out of sixes. This is horrendous, funny, sad, hilarious, all of the above. How did you not leave with certain fingers in the air? And I am not talking index here. Great little chapter. LOVE this.
Wendy
Comment Written 19-May-2019
reply by the author on 19-May-2019
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All families I taught at that time knew each other, so doing that (even as well-deserved as it was!!) would have been the equivalent of sabotaging my entire career forever! Sometimes, sadly, we have to just smile and swallow. In "The Big Picture of Life," it's a victory.
Thanks for the great review, Wendy. xo
Comment from judiverse
Fascinating material, and I'm amazed at your recollection of details. Some kids just aren't wired for music lessons, so you were right under the circumstances to let go. Sometimes parents push their kids to do things they don't want to. Hopefully, this child found something else she wanted to do (like join a Satanic cult.) Can't believe she sicced the demon dog on you. Excellent story and excellent wording to make it vivid. judi
reply by the author on 19-May-2019
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Fascinating material, and I'm amazed at your recollection of details. Some kids just aren't wired for music lessons, so you were right under the circumstances to let go. Sometimes parents push their kids to do things they don't want to. Hopefully, this child found something else she wanted to do (like join a Satanic cult.) Can't believe she sicced the demon dog on you. Excellent story and excellent wording to make it vivid. judi
Comment Written 19-May-2019
reply by the author on 19-May-2019
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HAHAHAHA, Judi! "like join a Satanic cult." You are hilarious. Thanks for the best review of the day! xo
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You're very welcome. Glad you liked the review. judi
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a little monster! I don't blame you in the slightest for leaving, I'm glad you got paid first though, and I hope Mummy's little princess got a good talking too for costing her money for a lesson she didn't have!! lol. This is a wonderful story in the day of.... :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 19-May-2019
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What a little monster! I don't blame you in the slightest for leaving, I'm glad you got paid first though, and I hope Mummy's little princess got a good talking too for costing her money for a lesson she didn't have!! lol. This is a wonderful story in the day of.... :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 19-May-2019
reply by the author on 19-May-2019
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I would be very surprised if Princess got a talking-to, Sandra. The children ran that household. And money was no object.
Thanks for the validating review! I appreciate it, as always. xo
Comment from shaffer40
This is an delightful tale of the teaching experience. The dialogue from the peevish little student is realistic and humorous (especially for those of us not confronting it), and the ending is perfect. Your Lessons book must be entertaining.
There are a few places where I think extra verbiage makes the images weaker and the dialogue less snappy:
I used to be a dog in a former life:
Suggest: I was a dog in a former life.
Then whatever shall we do for the next half hour, I wonder."
Suggest: Then whatever shall we do for the next half hour."
"And I also hate you,"
Suggest: "I also hate you,"
I remembered to leave mine in the car.There
Space missing after "car"
reply by the author on 19-May-2019
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This is an delightful tale of the teaching experience. The dialogue from the peevish little student is realistic and humorous (especially for those of us not confronting it), and the ending is perfect. Your Lessons book must be entertaining.
There are a few places where I think extra verbiage makes the images weaker and the dialogue less snappy:
I used to be a dog in a former life:
Suggest: I was a dog in a former life.
Then whatever shall we do for the next half hour, I wonder."
Suggest: Then whatever shall we do for the next half hour."
"And I also hate you,"
Suggest: "I also hate you,"
I remembered to leave mine in the car.There
Space missing after "car"
Comment Written 19-May-2019
reply by the author on 19-May-2019
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Thanks very much for all this help, Shaffer. I agree with it all and will take care of it as soon as I'm done responding to my reviews. Thanks for all your feedback, and, of course, the extra star. I appreciate it all. xo