St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "St. Louis Chapter 5 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
18 total reviews
Comment from Sankey
This was a great chapter. Dunno where all the good points have gone? A couple of spags for ya. How far (are)we going?"
his bag and [went] headed toward the stairs.
reply by the author on 21-May-2019
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This was a great chapter. Dunno where all the good points have gone? A couple of spags for ya. How far (are)we going?"
his bag and [went] headed toward the stairs.
Comment Written 20-May-2019
reply by the author on 21-May-2019
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LOL I think you are caught up.
Comment from light
Hmm, so Mac was drugged. Someone is out to get her. No wonder Logan feels so compelled to protect her. Now to find out who. Another good chapter.
Elaine
reply by the author on 13-May-2019
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Hmm, so Mac was drugged. Someone is out to get her. No wonder Logan feels so compelled to protect her. Now to find out who. Another good chapter.
Elaine
Comment Written 13-May-2019
reply by the author on 13-May-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from sandragee
The mystery deepens. The result of the drug test proves somebody is out to get Mac. But who and why? She knows martial arts, but it still must be nice to have Logan around if for no other reason than he can cook. A nice blend of mystery and humor in this chapter. Well done.
reply by the author on 11-May-2019
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The mystery deepens. The result of the drug test proves somebody is out to get Mac. But who and why? She knows martial arts, but it still must be nice to have Logan around if for no other reason than he can cook. A nice blend of mystery and humor in this chapter. Well done.
Comment Written 11-May-2019
reply by the author on 11-May-2019
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Being able to cook is a good thing. LOL Thank you for the kind review. This cooking will be important to the story.
Comment from tfawcus
Good chapter section. No spags as far as I can see
Action moving along nicely. Slick dialogue. Sorry to hear about your emergency op. Glad you're back home now and on the mend.
Looking forward to reading the next part to see how this develops. I like the way McKenzie and Logan are skating around each other at this stage.
reply by the author on 10-May-2019
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Good chapter section. No spags as far as I can see
Action moving along nicely. Slick dialogue. Sorry to hear about your emergency op. Glad you're back home now and on the mend.
Looking forward to reading the next part to see how this develops. I like the way McKenzie and Logan are skating around each other at this stage.
Comment Written 10-May-2019
reply by the author on 10-May-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Dawn Munro
This was great! I have only two small suggestions:
1) "What (are) you looking at?"
2) She's talking to Logan before she pauses, so she needs to turn back to his friend, yes? e.g. 'She paused (and turned back to...)'
reply by the author on 10-May-2019
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This was great! I have only two small suggestions:
1) "What (are) you looking at?"
2) She's talking to Logan before she pauses, so she needs to turn back to his friend, yes? e.g. 'She paused (and turned back to...)'
Comment Written 10-May-2019
reply by the author on 10-May-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Alex Rosel
This was a nice read. I haven't read the previous episodes, but that didn't really detract from it.
Here are a few thing you might consider:
"I thought you got around by taxi? -- spag?
There's a leash law. He doesn't like it, so I allow him to hold it. He's on a leash. -- Ha, ha. I like it.
I thought you needed to go back to work soon? -- spag?
You must be a Bruce Lee fan? -- spag?
I know first hand how persistent he can be -- spag? Firsthand or first-hand?
reply by the author on 10-May-2019
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This was a nice read. I haven't read the previous episodes, but that didn't really detract from it.
Here are a few thing you might consider:
"I thought you got around by taxi? -- spag?
There's a leash law. He doesn't like it, so I allow him to hold it. He's on a leash. -- Ha, ha. I like it.
I thought you needed to go back to work soon? -- spag?
You must be a Bruce Lee fan? -- spag?
I know first hand how persistent he can be -- spag? Firsthand or first-hand?
Comment Written 09-May-2019
reply by the author on 10-May-2019
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I made a few of the corrections. The others, they are sort of questions but not 'official' questions. There's a fine line. Thank you for the help.
Comment from Tpa
This item is absolutely perfect for me. I must enjoy every single aspect of the item. I must leave that particular item and feel like I would tell someone about it, think about it or refer to it with confidence later during the day. The Author has paid particular attention to the language used and the words were chosen. Every single grammar issue has been resolved and there are no spelling mistakes. I would highly recommend this item to a friend.
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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This item is absolutely perfect for me. I must enjoy every single aspect of the item. I must leave that particular item and feel like I would tell someone about it, think about it or refer to it with confidence later during the day. The Author has paid particular attention to the language used and the words were chosen. Every single grammar issue has been resolved and there are no spelling mistakes. I would highly recommend this item to a friend.
Comment Written 08-May-2019
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was a nasty Sunday! I hope you are feeling a little better and without all that pain now, Barbara. It's a wonder you could come on here at the moment.
Back to your story. This is a new development, someone is out to get our Max! Let's hope she keeps her dog's nearby. I wonder what she's done to deserve that kind of attention. It does appear that Max and Logan are getting to know each other very well! Let's hope something develops there. Another excellent chapter, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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That was a nasty Sunday! I hope you are feeling a little better and without all that pain now, Barbara. It's a wonder you could come on here at the moment.
Back to your story. This is a new development, someone is out to get our Max! Let's hope she keeps her dog's nearby. I wonder what she's done to deserve that kind of attention. It does appear that Max and Logan are getting to know each other very well! Let's hope something develops there. Another excellent chapter, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 08-May-2019
reply by the author on 09-May-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from shaffer40
Even without having read the other chapters, I enjoyed the dialogue in this one, especially about the dogs. The way Logan treats McKenzie has much underlying tenderness and I feel a romance coming on. Well written and compelling. Hope you heal properly after the surgery and are on your feet in no time.
reply by the author on 08-May-2019
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Even without having read the other chapters, I enjoyed the dialogue in this one, especially about the dogs. The way Logan treats McKenzie has much underlying tenderness and I feel a romance coming on. Well written and compelling. Hope you heal properly after the surgery and are on your feet in no time.
Comment Written 07-May-2019
reply by the author on 08-May-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
Sounds like things are getting cozy with Mac and Logan. I enjoyed the asides with the dogs. I couldn't see carrying Arlo in a back pack, but it would look pretty cute. The GHB sounds pretty serious, and Logan's pal Simon brings the news in person. He warns Mac that someone is pretty serious abut getting her out of the way. Mac can't think of a case she's been working on that would provoke such an attack. The school would likely be a good source of information for Mac about Megan. Excellent work, and I like the mix of action and the interaction of Mac and Logan. judi
reply by the author on 08-May-2019
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Sounds like things are getting cozy with Mac and Logan. I enjoyed the asides with the dogs. I couldn't see carrying Arlo in a back pack, but it would look pretty cute. The GHB sounds pretty serious, and Logan's pal Simon brings the news in person. He warns Mac that someone is pretty serious abut getting her out of the way. Mac can't think of a case she's been working on that would provoke such an attack. The school would likely be a good source of information for Mac about Megan. Excellent work, and I like the mix of action and the interaction of Mac and Logan. judi
Comment Written 07-May-2019
reply by the author on 08-May-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You're very welcome. judi
