Diablo
A memory from times past11 total reviews
Comment from Sara R.
This story is enlightening. I enjoyed every word. I couldn't wait to read the ending. I have had bad experiences with horses. I felt they gave me a Diablo. We survived. So in the end we won.
Sara R.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019
  |
This story is enlightening. I enjoyed every word. I couldn't wait to read the ending. I have had bad experiences with horses. I felt they gave me a Diablo. We survived. So in the end we won.
Sara R.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019
-
Thanks for reading and for your kind and generous review! Bill
Comment from john mallahan
The ironies of it all! I had two chillins as well, two years apart, as were yours, same sexes. So this reminded me of them, who are now in early 30's. Got thrown from one a my uncles horses when I was 10. don't think have had the wind knocked outta me since then! Tributes to you for staying on! And, a wonderful story of youthfulness, and time outside--not to mention caring! Thanks!
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019
 |
The ironies of it all! I had two chillins as well, two years apart, as were yours, same sexes. So this reminded me of them, who are now in early 30's. Got thrown from one a my uncles horses when I was 10. don't think have had the wind knocked outta me since then! Tributes to you for staying on! And, a wonderful story of youthfulness, and time outside--not to mention caring! Thanks!
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019
-
And for reading and your kind feedback. I appreciate both! Bill
Comment from Sam Frearson-Tubito
I really enjoyed reading your Share Your Story entry. Congratulations on your placement. Truly deserved. Your story flowed nicely and was engaging. I enjoyed the ending very much! Hope your experience didn't put you off riding horses again. Best, Sam.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019
|
I really enjoyed reading your Share Your Story entry. Congratulations on your placement. Truly deserved. Your story flowed nicely and was engaging. I enjoyed the ending very much! Hope your experience didn't put you off riding horses again. Best, Sam.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2019
-
Thanks for reading and for your kind and generous review. I appreciate both! Bill
Comment from Gail Denham
Hilarious - sounds like the game whisper - where something gets starts and then the end phrase is carvorted. Good thing you came out alive. But what a great thing to do with your daughter. Good for you.
reply by the author on 05-May-2019
|
Hilarious - sounds like the game whisper - where something gets starts and then the end phrase is carvorted. Good thing you came out alive. But what a great thing to do with your daughter. Good for you.
Comment Written 04-May-2019
reply by the author on 05-May-2019
-
Thanks Gail - wow, a glutton of punishment, reading both posts. Thank you very much!
Comment from LisaMay
Well, that riding establishment might have looked professional but that horse should not have gone out on its first day and they should have taken accurate notes on your riding ability. However, because of those oversights you were able to have the experience you have written about here - in such an entertaining and captivating way. I really enjoyed your story: well paced, descriptive, heart-in-mouth at times, and real slice-of-life with a post-divorce activity with your daughter.
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
|
Well, that riding establishment might have looked professional but that horse should not have gone out on its first day and they should have taken accurate notes on your riding ability. However, because of those oversights you were able to have the experience you have written about here - in such an entertaining and captivating way. I really enjoyed your story: well paced, descriptive, heart-in-mouth at times, and real slice-of-life with a post-divorce activity with your daughter.
Comment Written 02-May-2019
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
-
Thanks LM - both for reading and your kind comments. I appreciate both. Bill
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh my!! This was a fun and interesting read. Good luck with the contest.
She turned to me and asked, "How about you Sir?" (You need a comma after you, you're addressing Sir. You can actually leave off 'and asked.' they're extra words.)
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
|
Oh my!! This was a fun and interesting read. Good luck with the contest.
She turned to me and asked, "How about you Sir?" (You need a comma after you, you're addressing Sir. You can actually leave off 'and asked.' they're extra words.)
Comment Written 02-May-2019
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
-
Thanks for reading and your kind feedback. Think you're right about the comma. Started with one and pulled it back!
Comment from Mastery
Hey Bill. I have to give you credit, you are a better man than I am. I would have let that damned horse go by itself and walked the circuit before I would let it treat me like that. Those people at the stable had no rigt to let that horse go with someone that day. They were just begging for a lawsuit. LOL Oh, well. It's good you got to spend some quality time with daughter. I know how important that is. Been there...done that.
Good job of relating this, my friend. It could easily be up for Story of the Month. Bless you, Bob
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
|
Hey Bill. I have to give you credit, you are a better man than I am. I would have let that damned horse go by itself and walked the circuit before I would let it treat me like that. Those people at the stable had no rigt to let that horse go with someone that day. They were just begging for a lawsuit. LOL Oh, well. It's good you got to spend some quality time with daughter. I know how important that is. Been there...done that.
Good job of relating this, my friend. It could easily be up for Story of the Month. Bless you, Bob
Comment Written 02-May-2019
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
-
Thanks for reading Bob, and for your kind feedback. Bill
-
:) Bob
Comment from Debra White
Hi :)
I really enjoyed reading your short story.
Very engaging and entertaining, you grabbed my attention straight away.
Bad luck that the person taking the pre-trek information either misheard you and/or incorrectly recorded your riding experience! You did so well to hang on to Diablo!
Just a little typo on the final line - As of (if) I hadn't had enough!
Good luck in the contest. Best wishes, Debra :)
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
|
Hi :)
I really enjoyed reading your short story.
Very engaging and entertaining, you grabbed my attention straight away.
Bad luck that the person taking the pre-trek information either misheard you and/or incorrectly recorded your riding experience! You did so well to hang on to Diablo!
Just a little typo on the final line - As of (if) I hadn't had enough!
Good luck in the contest. Best wishes, Debra :)
Comment Written 02-May-2019
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
-
Thanks for reading, your feedback and the spot. All are appreciated. Bill
Comment from JudyE
What a delightful story. I really enjoyed this as I've been involved with horses all my life. I was wondering how come they paired you with such an unsuitable mount. Good for you for sticking with him.
I picked up a few glitches but please ignore any that don't gel with you.
Distance combined with my hectic work schedule, allowed me to see my two children less than I liked. - I might have put a comma after 'distance'
The shorter, fat-butted ones to the not so skilled. - Maybe hyphenate 'not so skilled'
Her horses name was Pancho. - apostrophe missing - 'horse's name'
His nostrils were flared out and he actively resisted the guy bringing him out. - I might have deleted the first 'out'.
I positioned my self to the rear. - my self should be one word.
The staff moved out and helped my daughter from her mount. They asked, "Did you have a good time." - did you want a question mark after 'time'?
As of I hadn't had enough! - should be 'As if...'
Thanks again for a fun read. I'm glad you survived. Cheers. Judy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
|
What a delightful story. I really enjoyed this as I've been involved with horses all my life. I was wondering how come they paired you with such an unsuitable mount. Good for you for sticking with him.
I picked up a few glitches but please ignore any that don't gel with you.
Distance combined with my hectic work schedule, allowed me to see my two children less than I liked. - I might have put a comma after 'distance'
The shorter, fat-butted ones to the not so skilled. - Maybe hyphenate 'not so skilled'
Her horses name was Pancho. - apostrophe missing - 'horse's name'
His nostrils were flared out and he actively resisted the guy bringing him out. - I might have deleted the first 'out'.
I positioned my self to the rear. - my self should be one word.
The staff moved out and helped my daughter from her mount. They asked, "Did you have a good time." - did you want a question mark after 'time'?
As of I hadn't had enough! - should be 'As if...'
Thanks again for a fun read. I'm glad you survived. Cheers. Judy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-May-2019
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
-
Thanks for reading Judy, and for the constructive feedback. Never should self edit after two beers!
-
I've just had an evening out but have submitted something so I'll probably soon know exactly what you're talking about. Anyway, it's very easy to miss your own spags.
Comment from lucky linda
This story is great. I am so glad you shared it. My experiences with horses have been unexpected but more painful. Hope you and your daughter went back for more rides. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
|
This story is great. I am so glad you shared it. My experiences with horses have been unexpected but more painful. Hope you and your daughter went back for more rides. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 01-May-2019
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
-
Thanks for reading and for your kind and generous feedback! Bill