St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "St. Louis Chapter 4 part 3"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
18 total reviews
Comment from bhogg
Barbara - I think you like dogs! This post was so easy to read. As with all your work, I can just put myself in the situation. As usual, your editing is super. I'd like to offer constructive help, but it's your fault I just zipped through your post! Bill
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
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Barbara - I think you like dogs! This post was so easy to read. As with all your work, I can just put myself in the situation. As usual, your editing is super. I'd like to offer constructive help, but it's your fault I just zipped through your post! Bill
Comment Written 01-May-2019
reply by the author on 02-May-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from TheStoryMan
This was a wonderful chapter. Logan seems like a gentleman, I don't think McKenzie has seen too many of those in her life. I hope they find out who killed Megan.
reply by the author on 01-May-2019
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This was a wonderful chapter. Logan seems like a gentleman, I don't think McKenzie has seen too many of those in her life. I hope they find out who killed Megan.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 01-May-2019
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I hope they do too. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from susand3022
Hi Barbara! I don't care how many words! When it's good... like it is... I just want to keep on going! I love the way you kept it sweet here. She was falling asleep on him before he put his arm around her, checking with the guard dogs along the way... lol, so sweet. :) :)
reply by the author on 01-May-2019
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Hi Barbara! I don't care how many words! When it's good... like it is... I just want to keep on going! I love the way you kept it sweet here. She was falling asleep on him before he put his arm around her, checking with the guard dogs along the way... lol, so sweet. :) :)
Comment Written 30-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 01-May-2019
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Thank you. I'm sucker for sweet.
Comment from tfawcus
I enjoyed the natural dialogue in this and the realism of the scene where they are watching the game with the two dogs.
Logan's internal dialogue gives your readers a good idea of his thought processes and what is going on below the surface.
Only one small point: They wanted me to stay with them and not (in) a hotel.
I thought this a particularly good chapter.
reply by the author on 04-May-2019
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I enjoyed the natural dialogue in this and the realism of the scene where they are watching the game with the two dogs.
Logan's internal dialogue gives your readers a good idea of his thought processes and what is going on below the surface.
Only one small point: They wanted me to stay with them and not (in) a hotel.
I thought this a particularly good chapter.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 04-May-2019
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I have made that correction. Thank you for the catch and the encouragement.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Barbara,
nice scenes of domesticity playing out here, showing the relationship growing between these two.
Earlier you said, 'you hoped Jose knew how to keep me safe.' I need - you don't need the quote marks here. it isn't a direct quote. if it was, it wouldn't be 'you' but 'I'.
Logan nodded. "Okay."
Silence filled the room.
"What are your plans for tonight?" asked Logan.- possibly rephrase or clarify this. you say silence fills the room but then logan speak immediately. Have Logan toy with his food for a moment or something.
"You grew up in The Lou and you asked that question? I'm watching the Cardinals, of course." After a long silence, she asked, "Did you have a nice visit with your parents?"
- same sort of thing here.
"I'm sure not for how long." - maybe rearrange the order here to 'not sure for how long'.
He grinned at the light blue decor. "I guess you're not as tom-boyish as you want us to believe." - is light-blue really that feminine a colour?
reply by the author on 04-May-2019
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Hi Barbara,
nice scenes of domesticity playing out here, showing the relationship growing between these two.
Earlier you said, 'you hoped Jose knew how to keep me safe.' I need - you don't need the quote marks here. it isn't a direct quote. if it was, it wouldn't be 'you' but 'I'.
Logan nodded. "Okay."
Silence filled the room.
"What are your plans for tonight?" asked Logan.- possibly rephrase or clarify this. you say silence fills the room but then logan speak immediately. Have Logan toy with his food for a moment or something.
"You grew up in The Lou and you asked that question? I'm watching the Cardinals, of course." After a long silence, she asked, "Did you have a nice visit with your parents?"
- same sort of thing here.
"I'm sure not for how long." - maybe rearrange the order here to 'not sure for how long'.
He grinned at the light blue decor. "I guess you're not as tom-boyish as you want us to believe." - is light-blue really that feminine a colour?
Comment Written 30-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 04-May-2019
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Not really, but Mac is putting on the pretend of being tough. I will work on the color change. Thank you for the assistance. I make the corrections.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
I love the dogs in this (of course. I am a dog-person.) This is well written and how he treats her is so very sweet. A very well written post, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 01-May-2019
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I love the dogs in this (of course. I am a dog-person.) This is well written and how he treats her is so very sweet. A very well written post, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 30-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 01-May-2019
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You know I'm a dog person. Everybody needs a dog and so does every novel. LOl Thank you.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Seems like Logan really is the perfect gentleman. The dogs are a nice touch. I like how they fight to sit next to her... cute. He put her in bed and she didn't wake up as he carried her upstairs! She must have been very sleepy, unless she just pretended to sleep. :)
reply by the author on 01-May-2019
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Seems like Logan really is the perfect gentleman. The dogs are a nice touch. I like how they fight to sit next to her... cute. He put her in bed and she didn't wake up as he carried her upstairs! She must have been very sleepy, unless she just pretended to sleep. :)
Comment Written 30-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 01-May-2019
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Who knows for sure. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from light
Barbara, this is a really great chapter. It's all there, game, popcorn, and the dogs. Logan is still very protective over Mckinzie. He thinks she is not that tough.
The story is progressing at a good pace.
Elaine
reply by the author on 01-May-2019
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Barbara, this is a really great chapter. It's all there, game, popcorn, and the dogs. Logan is still very protective over Mckinzie. He thinks she is not that tough.
The story is progressing at a good pace.
Elaine
Comment Written 29-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 01-May-2019
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He will find out a lot about MacKenzie, but I have a feeling she's not as tough as she wants to be. LOL Thank you.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I loved the way Ario got poor Edger off the sofa so he could sit near Mac, lol, that really was sneaky. This was a really nice, homey type of chapter, a getting to know one another more. I did enjoy this, and I'm already thinking about how to smuggle those two adorable dogs over to my home. :)) lol. Well done, Barbara. Another enjoyable part. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2019
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I loved the way Ario got poor Edger off the sofa so he could sit near Mac, lol, that really was sneaky. This was a really nice, homey type of chapter, a getting to know one another more. I did enjoy this, and I'm already thinking about how to smuggle those two adorable dogs over to my home. :)) lol. Well done, Barbara. Another enjoyable part. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 29-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2019
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I'm sure you know I'm a huge dog lover. Every story needs a dog or two. Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow, McKenzie must have been bushed. Either that or the drug still isn't quite out of her system. I would have awakened the minute Logan tried to lift me. But then, maybe she has already decided she can trust him after all.
Nicely done, Barbara.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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Wow, McKenzie must have been bushed. Either that or the drug still isn't quite out of her system. I would have awakened the minute Logan tried to lift me. But then, maybe she has already decided she can trust him after all.
Nicely done, Barbara.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2019
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I think she trusts him more than she lets on. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
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My thinking as I read it. *grin*
