Reviews from

Poetic Treasures and Dreams

Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Concert of Creation"
A book on nature and feelings and spirituality.

6 total reviews 
Comment from Beri Bee
Excellent
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This is a beautiful representation and ode to the cacophony that we can awaken to. Bombing in the war years was a sober reminder of manmade sounds at their worst. The nature, by comparison, similar sounding, yet truly beautiful!

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2019
    Dear Beri, Thank you for your comments and review. Dove
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
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There is concert of Creation, in the morning, one can feel and hear the sound and movement in action in different forms of Nature; well said, well done. Thank you for sharing. Keep Writing Inspire Changing -- DR ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2019
    Dear Alcreator, Thank you for your comments and review. Dove
Comment from ~Dovey
Excellent
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Hi Donna -

I like the ideas you set forth with in this poem and thank you for mentioning me in your notes. I'm including the full description of this form and an example by the lady who created it, too. If you look at your refrain lines, it is just talking about the first four syllables in the stanza and the last four syllables of the stanza being the same. Check out her example. :)

Keep up the good work!
Kim

The Wrapped Refrain, created by Jan Turner, consists of 2 or more stanzas of 6 lines each; Meter: 8,8,8,8,12,12 and Rhyme Scheme: a,a,b,b,c,c.

Refrain rule: In each stanza the first 4 syllables (or 4 single-syllable words) in the first line must be the last 4 syllables (or 4 single-syllable words) at the end of the last line. This is what wraps each stanza with a repeated refrain ...thus, the Wrapped Refrain.

Optional: The first stanza refrain and last stanza refrain can be joined (or loosely joined) together for the title of the poem.

Example #1:
Let's Steal Away to Meet Again

Let's steal away to some place cool,
with rivulets that foam and pool
beneath a wooded, shady shore
that frames the rocks with sycamore.
The afternoon has just begun; without delay,
let's meet beneath the shaded sun...let's steal away.

Let's meet again where once we knew
the buttercups with golden dew;
we scurried to our hidden spot
where I recall forget-me-not.
And, we shall have the promised dreams that we did then,
as we revisit hideaways...let's meet again.

Copyright © 2007 Jan Turner

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2019
    Dear Kim, Thank you for telling me about the example and typing it out for me, I will try to go in and correct. Thank you for your comments and review. Dove
Comment from frogbook
Excellent
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Ah, this one made me envious. Wanted to be at that beach with my toes in the sand. Great picture and coloring to add to the lure of the poet's words, beckoning us out to nature.

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
    Dear frogbook, Thank you for your comments and review. Dove
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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I loved the form and the sentiments here, the dawning of creation with birds and squirrels doing their own thing and enjoying life and how man will seek to destroy life, they are often at our mercy, a poignant write, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019
    Dear Dolly, Thank you for your comments and review and compliment. Love, Donna x
Comment from moongirlwriter
Excellent
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I agree, there is something about hearing the sounds of nature the first thing in the morning or at night when I go to bed either with my window open or under the stars, it's truly amazing. I don't like listening to the coyotes celebrating their dinner though. . .I always reach for my cat to make sure she is in for the night. Well written and the pic of the beach is lovely. It is fun at the ocean side to feel the ocean spray, it's like dew drops from heaven.

 Comment Written 24-Apr-2019


reply by the author on 24-Apr-2019
    Dear moongirlwriter, Thank you for your comments and review. Dove
reply by moongirlwriter on 24-Apr-2019
    :)
reply by moongirlwriter on 24-Apr-2019
    I think I didn't quite get that this was a decision made by her father. . .now that's pretty sad. I am in awe of a nuns life but if it wasn't your choice, it simply should not have happened.