Daddy's Little Princess
Story in a Poem. It's a contest entry.12 total reviews
Comment from LisaMay
Fantastic Ron. This reads like the poems my dad used to read to me when i was a kid... it rolls right along with wonderful momentum. I love the action and pace of it. And the vengeful nature of retribution. Forgiveness is for sooks. A real morality tale. I bet you had fun inventing it as you went.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Fantastic Ron. This reads like the poems my dad used to read to me when i was a kid... it rolls right along with wonderful momentum. I love the action and pace of it. And the vengeful nature of retribution. Forgiveness is for sooks. A real morality tale. I bet you had fun inventing it as you went.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the fantastic review and big sixer, Lisa. Yeah, it was a blast. I had an idea in mind but it kept changing as I went along, lol. This is what came out. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars and kind words, Lisa. I'm glad you liked the piece. Have a great night. Thank you again.
Ron
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Cheers Ron.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Wowie zowie!! What an epic tale!! This is so rich with imagery and imagination and PERFECT RHYMES every single stanza!! You have done quite the exceptional job here!! I hope you win this contest!! xo
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
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Wowie zowie!! What an epic tale!! This is so rich with imagery and imagination and PERFECT RHYMES every single stanza!! You have done quite the exceptional job here!! I hope you win this contest!! xo
Comment Written 15-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
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Thank you so much for the fantastic review and the gracious sixer and support, Rachelle. I like writing fantasy and doing it in rhyme. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars. I'm glad you liked the piece. Have a great night. Thank you again.
Ron
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My total pleasure, Ron. It was an AWESOME read!!
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Pen pal: I'm sure that you are getting loads of stars for
your clever poem, rhymes and photo. There are many
bad fathers that send their kids to boarding schools instead
of spending time with their children. Seems like she didn't
have friends or school. We all need love and attention. He
lost many years of bonding with his daughter. Maybe, he was
a party boy. You lured us with descriptions and suspence.
Enjoy your precious family. flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
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Pen pal: I'm sure that you are getting loads of stars for
your clever poem, rhymes and photo. There are many
bad fathers that send their kids to boarding schools instead
of spending time with their children. Seems like she didn't
have friends or school. We all need love and attention. He
lost many years of bonding with his daughter. Maybe, he was
a party boy. You lured us with descriptions and suspence.
Enjoy your precious family. flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 14-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
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Thank you so much for the excellent review and big sixer, Flylikeaneagle. Yes, there are many parents out there neglecting their kids. That's what I wanted to get across as to why she was so bitter. I really appreciate the gracious stars. I'm glad you liked my lengthy piece. Have a great day and thank you again.
Ron
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a lovely story in a poem, beautifully told with a very happy ending with the princess finally breaking free from her 'jail' with the help of the magician. They fall in love and rule as king and queen. Really lovely! Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
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What a lovely story in a poem, beautifully told with a very happy ending with the princess finally breaking free from her 'jail' with the help of the magician. They fall in love and rule as king and queen. Really lovely! Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 14-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the great review, Sandra. I really appreciate the generous stars. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Ron
Comment from humpwhistle
My congratulations on a very ambitious and entertaining tale.
A true Idyll.
My only problems are a few changes of tense that seem favor rhyme.
Perhaps another read, with this in mind, might help you put things into proper alignment.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
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My congratulations on a very ambitious and entertaining tale.
A true Idyll.
My only problems are a few changes of tense that seem favor rhyme.
Perhaps another read, with this in mind, might help you put things into proper alignment.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 14-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the great review, Lee. Yeah, I know I jumped back and forth between tenses. Mainly to make it fit. Plus, I'd work on it after I got home from work and was tired. I'm sure that had some bearing on it as well. I appreciate the generous stars, Lee. Thank you. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Ron
Comment from LIJ Red
When that witch and warlock got loose, the result was just what the king expected, hundreds of loyal knights slaughtered , the government overturned and an absolute dictatorship established in blood and fire...
such is the way of sorcery...excellent rhyming story poem...
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2019
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When that witch and warlock got loose, the result was just what the king expected, hundreds of loyal knights slaughtered , the government overturned and an absolute dictatorship established in blood and fire...
such is the way of sorcery...excellent rhyming story poem...
Comment Written 14-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the great review, LIJ. I'm glad you liked the piece.
Comment from royowen
Well done with this ballad style story/poem, the story Is do well written, flowing very smooth, with a great tail permeating every line, till it ends with her sorcerer/redeemer. Ruling with her upisvhe bs sorcerer.lover. They vanquish the nasty father. Written in 8686 abcb rhyming, well done, good luck, blessings,
Roy
Typo : She flung him from the (thrown) throne?
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2019
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Well done with this ballad style story/poem, the story Is do well written, flowing very smooth, with a great tail permeating every line, till it ends with her sorcerer/redeemer. Ruling with her upisvhe bs sorcerer.lover. They vanquish the nasty father. Written in 8686 abcb rhyming, well done, good luck, blessings,
Roy
Typo : She flung him from the (thrown) throne?
Comment Written 14-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the fantastic review and for pointing out the goof, Roy. I fixed it. I really appreciate the generous stars, friend. Have a great rest of your weekend.
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Well done
Comment from LyndaS
Your artwork and title of this piece hooked me in before I read one word of this. Love the meter here and the story is solid throughout. My favorite line is "Welcome child, at last we finally meet." You do a great job of keeping the narrative rolling and it runs like honey. Very visual and descriptive. Killer tale of fantasy. Well done! Good luck in the vote. Lynda
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2019
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Your artwork and title of this piece hooked me in before I read one word of this. Love the meter here and the story is solid throughout. My favorite line is "Welcome child, at last we finally meet." You do a great job of keeping the narrative rolling and it runs like honey. Very visual and descriptive. Killer tale of fantasy. Well done! Good luck in the vote. Lynda
Comment Written 13-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2019
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Thank you so much for the excellent review and gracious sixer, Lynda. That's one of my favorite lines too. The picture helped inspire the piece. I dearly appreciate the big sixer. I'm glad you liked my lengthy tale. Have a great rest of your weekend. Thank you again.
Comment from RodG
This narrative poem will appeal to all ages. What a good job you have done to (1) characterize the princess who has endured neglect and loneliness, (2) characterize the sorcerer who helped her gain the throne, (3) describe the action as she uses the power to subdue the knights her father uses to oppose her, and (4) to maintain that aura of fantasy. I also like how you employed the ballad (4/3/4/3) stanzato tell your tale. Well done! Rod
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2019
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This narrative poem will appeal to all ages. What a good job you have done to (1) characterize the princess who has endured neglect and loneliness, (2) characterize the sorcerer who helped her gain the throne, (3) describe the action as she uses the power to subdue the knights her father uses to oppose her, and (4) to maintain that aura of fantasy. I also like how you employed the ballad (4/3/4/3) stanzato tell your tale. Well done! Rod
Comment Written 13-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the fantastic review and the giant sixer, Rod. I really appreciate the generous rating, friend. I'm glad you liked the piece. Have a great rest of your weekend. Thank you again.
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You are very welcome. Rod
Comment from Bill Pinder
This is an excellent story in a poem about a sorcerer, a princess and a king. Thanks for sharing this unique creation. Good luck in the contest!
Bill
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2019
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This is an excellent story in a poem about a sorcerer, a princess and a king. Thanks for sharing this unique creation. Good luck in the contest!
Bill
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2019
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Thank you for the great review, Bill. I'm glad you liked the piece.
