Across Generations
A Quiet Tribute8 total reviews
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
Of course we know that the silent tribute is to John and we share in the sadness experienced, while acknowledging the loveliness of the poem delineating the circumstances. Beautifully done.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2019
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Of course we know that the silent tribute is to John and we share in the sadness experienced, while acknowledging the loveliness of the poem delineating the circumstances. Beautifully done.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2019
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Raffaelina, thanks so much for your comments. I appreciate your input.
jon
Comment from Ross E Silke
An interesting poem that is emotional and strong in its stance. It certainly raises the standard and makes us truly think on the issue at hand. The poem is well formed and formatted. The image accompanies quite well. A sincere and serious tone to honour with. It pays great respect to those lost. Perhaps some author notes might help to explain more fully as I find I'm having to reread to accurately understand the poem's intent and full meaning. The thoughts seem a bit scattered in the verses and maybe some more description explaining the intent of the poem might help; I've reread it over a few times and I'm still having trouble deciphering the message fully that you're trying to draw for us. It's written well in the structure of good English style, it just seems to not fit well together like connectors are missing to the pieces to make the puzzle all fit together; I can't see the big picture clearly enough. I hope that helps. Best,
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2019
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An interesting poem that is emotional and strong in its stance. It certainly raises the standard and makes us truly think on the issue at hand. The poem is well formed and formatted. The image accompanies quite well. A sincere and serious tone to honour with. It pays great respect to those lost. Perhaps some author notes might help to explain more fully as I find I'm having to reread to accurately understand the poem's intent and full meaning. The thoughts seem a bit scattered in the verses and maybe some more description explaining the intent of the poem might help; I've reread it over a few times and I'm still having trouble deciphering the message fully that you're trying to draw for us. It's written well in the structure of good English style, it just seems to not fit well together like connectors are missing to the pieces to make the puzzle all fit together; I can't see the big picture clearly enough. I hope that helps. Best,
Comment Written 04-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2019
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Thanks much for your review, Ross Edward Silke.
The poem tells of a chance encounter between two people separated by decades in age, who, seemingly, would have nothing much in common, and who, in fact, probably did not, other than their common reason for being at a certain location, which was Strawberry Fields, the memorial to John Lennon located in New York City's Central Park. Regarding the "Dakota" reference: this was Lennon's apartment building , which sits just across the street from Central Park and Strawberry Fields. He was assassinated on the sidewalk in front of the building in 1981.
The poem is biographical. I was somewhat taken aback and quite moved by the young woman's reaction as she stood over the mosaic entitled "Imagine," given that Lennon's murder certainly occurred many years prior to her birth
Thanks again. I appreciate your comments.
Comment from HealingMuse
Hi Santiago,
This is quite a thought provoking piece, my friend. I love the artwork you have displayed with your verse, as it carries the theme of imagination. Nothing to suggest revising here. Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2019
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Hi Santiago,
This is quite a thought provoking piece, my friend. I love the artwork you have displayed with your verse, as it carries the theme of imagination. Nothing to suggest revising here. Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 04-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2019
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Jan, thank you very much for your comments. I appreciate it.
jon
Comment from kiwisteveh
I like your free verse portrayal of this chance encounter in Central park at the memorial to John Lennon. Your poem reminds me of Wordsworth's definition of poetry ' emotion recollected in tranquility'. Here you reflect on not just your own emotion, but also that of the stranger, someone who is far too youn to have known Lennon in his 'heyday'.
There is a lovely economy of words here as you paint the scene and I am glad you didn't try too hard to attribute meaning to your piece. I get it.
Steve
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2019
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I like your free verse portrayal of this chance encounter in Central park at the memorial to John Lennon. Your poem reminds me of Wordsworth's definition of poetry ' emotion recollected in tranquility'. Here you reflect on not just your own emotion, but also that of the stranger, someone who is far too youn to have known Lennon in his 'heyday'.
There is a lovely economy of words here as you paint the scene and I am glad you didn't try too hard to attribute meaning to your piece. I get it.
Steve
Comment Written 04-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2019
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Steve, I really appreciate your insight and thanks so much for your comments. I'm pleased that you mention the 'understated' approach, as I believe it doesn't appeal to many readers.
jon
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Perhaps most fanstorians are a little limited to either rhyme and meter or a more flowery kind of free verse...
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I love the craft of metered-verse. When writing biographically, I like the immediacy of free verse in moving "thought to paper."
Comment from phill doran
Hello Santiago
This is such a great impressionistic snap-shot of a single moment which carries much more weight than recording the mere actions of the narrative. It is representative of many things and it defies the often-made claim that each generation is incomprehensible to the next. Lennon too is a cipher for so much more.
Several generations will relate to this piece, which really is the ultimate review.
Your light touches of description are exact and very well executed.
I wish you well with your continued writing, which I always enjoy. "It is my privilege" to read you.
cheers
phill
(I visited earlier and see you have since addressed the formatting - it looks and reads much better!)
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2019
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Hello Santiago
This is such a great impressionistic snap-shot of a single moment which carries much more weight than recording the mere actions of the narrative. It is representative of many things and it defies the often-made claim that each generation is incomprehensible to the next. Lennon too is a cipher for so much more.
Several generations will relate to this piece, which really is the ultimate review.
Your light touches of description are exact and very well executed.
I wish you well with your continued writing, which I always enjoy. "It is my privilege" to read you.
cheers
phill
(I visited earlier and see you have since addressed the formatting - it looks and reads much better!)
Comment Written 04-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2019
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Phil, it's true, isn't it, that generational differences are greatly overstated? That is my experience as I, and my wife, interact regularly with our youngest son's friends who are in their late 20's.
Thanks much for your review--thoughtful, insightful, as is your writing--and for the generous rating.
saludos,
jon
Comment from jenintorre
I really love this poem. It is so full of emotion. I felt that I was right there although I have never been there. I still mourn the loss of John Lennon. Excellent writing.
Best wishes. Jen.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2019
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I really love this poem. It is so full of emotion. I felt that I was right there although I have never been there. I still mourn the loss of John Lennon. Excellent writing.
Best wishes. Jen.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2019
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Jen, thank you for your comments. Maybe you'll visit Strawberry Fields someday: it's a quiet little enclave tucked away in "the city that never sleeps," as Frank said.
I really appreciate your review and the great rating.
jon
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
This is a very moving poem, my friend. Poor woman alone in the city. I do think I would combine these lines:
and tears mix freely
with rain
~DEbbie
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2019
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This is a very moving poem, my friend. Poor woman alone in the city. I do think I would combine these lines:
and tears mix freely
with rain
~DEbbie
Comment Written 04-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2019
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Thank you very much, Debbie, for reviewing. I'm glad you liked it, and I'll consider your suggestion.
jon
Comment from Sandra Montanino
Very powerful and moving. I think you captured the sensation. I like the line, "Alone this day, among eight million in the City." This feels so true.
Good writing. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2019
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Very powerful and moving. I think you captured the sensation. I like the line, "Alone this day, among eight million in the City." This feels so true.
Good writing. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 04-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2019
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Sandra, thank you for your comments. I appreciate that you took the time to review.
