Reviews from

Aiona's Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 57 "Sending Her Home"
Because my portfolio is too messy and I have OCD.

6 total reviews 
Comment from Mike Stevens
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A fine limerick, however, I'm SHOCKED, SHOCKED I tell you, Aiona--tell me, is the pie all-you-can-eat? That's a groovy-looking pie, though, fluffy crust is the best!

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2019
    LOL! Thanks for the compliment, Mike.
Comment from susand3022
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Hello Aiona... yes they are! Bawdy, or just funny in general... I can still remember one I read as a kid in a book called, Funny Little Limericks... "There once was a woman named Harris, Whom nothing could simply embarass, Till the bath salt she shook, In the bath that she shook, Turned out to be plaster of paris!" Above it was a picture of a lady in a bathtub, obviously stuck there... the plastic having hardened, posed like a dog with her hands and feet stuck in the plaster. LOL I do love yours... I'll take bawdy any time! LOL

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2019
    LOL! I like that limerick too. Thanks for the compliment.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
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One of my weaknesses if limerick writing. I never got it right but this one is perfectly done and can be taken two ways. LOL Loved it now where is a picture of this years pie?lol

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2019
    Hee! I don't have an apple tree in our new house. But! I can still make blueberry pie. I'll take a picture of that soon. I'm glad the double entendre comes through.
Comment from phill doran
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Hello Aiona
Very good. There was a 'dispute' recently on the site around limericks and the 'correct' format - but I think the consensus was that it is a moving target, there are many models and if they work, they work. This one works. I will make of the apple pie whatever euphemism I may.
In passing, line 4 seems 'short' to me " ...really brought the lad down..." (or any additional syllable) runs better (for me - but it may be an matter of accent. I mean no disrespect to your words).
I wish you well with your continued writing.
cheers
phill

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2019
    Heh! A moving target, eh? I wish I could find the discussion. Is there a link to it? Yeah, that line does seem a bit short. I'll work on that one.
reply by phill doran on 26-Mar-2019
    Hi
    If you go to the 'forums' (a drop-down option in the community tab at teh top of the page). Then, click on poetry writing (4th item down). It is currently the top item "ridiculous contest requirements"
    cheers
    phill
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2019
    Thanks, Phill. I changed the wording a little bit. Trying to fit in another pun. It might be over the top, but it was fun trying to find another word to use! If I could nominate you for reviewer of the month I would, but I used mine up so early in the month! So many helpful people here! Next month!
Comment from JudyE
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This is a great limerick. And it's all in how you read it isn't it? lol. I keep wanting to make 'master' rhyme with 'Astor' which makes it even funnier. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2019
    Thanks, JudyE.
Comment from HealingMuse
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Hi Aiona,

Ha ha ha! This is a really cute limerick and a great contest entry. Nothing amiss her to suggest you revise. Best of luck and thanks for sharing. Jan

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2019


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2019
    Thanks, Jan. :)