Comment from Shirley E Kennedy

Excellent

Hi Roxanna,
The storyline and battle scenes are very well written.
There are some spelling and grammar errors but I'm sure you will catch them with your next edit.
I am so glad you have continued on with this book for your perseverance
is producing a great story.
Blessings
Shirley

 Comment Written 25-Apr-2019

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reply by the author on 25-Apr-2019

Thank you so much Shirley

Comment from royowen

Excellent

An excellent episode Rox. This is a truly wonderful story, I love sci fi or fantasy so this is right down my ally. A good descriptive episode of action and battle, these are not easy to write, so you've done a slap up job. Well done Rox, blessings, Roy
Typo : Nubian archer onto Dyster('s) back. 2: the Nubian archer(s) took their place.3: the beast(s) already spitting fire. 4:?to save their their (life's) lives? 5: Dyster('s) 6: but he paid no(t) heed.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2019

Thanks so much Roy, glad you enjoyed it. Thanks too for all the corrections, I think I found and made them all. =} Rox

reply by royowen on 17-Mar-2019

Well done Rox

Comment from Sally Law

Excellent

Well, you know I love this story, even with all the whacked-out, evil characters. A bloody fight with the slighted dragon--his mother and siblings. No wonder the real world is so messed up. Even dragons act out when they are not loved...

Just a few small observations. Don't be afraid to use a semicolon. I find it connects two separate thoughts just fine. I sighted a few places where a semicolon would be more in keeping with the flow of the story.

Also, I am really working on starting sentences with less pronouns; I, she, me, he, etc. Paragraph 16 had five sentences that began with she. No judgment at all, just something my writing coach is always on me about. I am trying to improve this in my own writing and thought I would pass that along.

This is another well-written addition to your Joshua series. I look forward to the next one.

All my best,
Sal xo

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2019

Thanks so much Sally. I do try to be careful about starting my sentences with the same word, so will look at that. I have to think so hard to come up with another way to say it. I was told you shouldn't use semicolons, I don't know why, I don't think it really matters if you do. What are they going to do, arrest me? =} Thanks for all the helps and I'm glad you enjoyed. I'll have another look at it as I do want my writing to be the best I can make it.

reply by Sally Law on 17-Mar-2019

I hope I did not discourage you at all. Writers have their own way of doing things. The semicolon is just a preference for me when a comma is not enough. You are doing great, please know that! I have a new post up that needs your expert eye. Sal

reply by the author on 18-Mar-2019

No, I appreciate the advise. I did go back and make changes. I noticed I had done the same thing in another par so fixed that too. =} So no worries, I do want to improve and you can't do that without taking advise. So thank you. Rox

Comment from Miss Sherry

Excellent

Looks fine to me. It is a very good dragon tale, not a genre I often read, but this is very good. You have a very vivid imagination, now become more confident in your fine ability. I will be waiting anxiously for the next chapter!!

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2019

Thanks so much Miss Sherry. =}

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

Dyster is getting the revenge on the mother who threw him out of the cave when he was just a baby. He wants her dead. His siblings had already paid the price. Joshua needs him now to save the horse soldiers from the black dragons. Will Dyster kill his mother in time to save them? Nancy:)

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2019

Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter. =} Thanks so much Nancy. Rox

Comment from Lindsey Rooks

Excellent

I really enjoyed this scene! I could picture it all in my head, gory parts and all. Even down to the expressions and clothes of the soldiers. I would love to know the ending! haha
Great work. - Lindsey

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2019

Thank you so much Lindsey. I hope to post my chapter much closer together and not let so much time go in between. I was having some problems getting into it, but I think I've got my mojo back. =}

Comment from Treischel

Exceptional

You bring us right into the battle. The beheading and burnings are definitely compelling reasons to fight. An intriguing thought about the blue face paint.

The Nubian archer(s?) took their place
and give last minute institutions (Instructions?).

Outstanding description of Duster ready for battle. Nice intimate moment with Lyse. The Cat battles are awesome.

He bellowed and move(moved?) away,

The Dragon fight between mother and son excellent.

but he paid not(no?) heed.

Despite the several typos. This deserves a 6.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2019

Thanks so much for all the helps and the 6 stars. I am very honored. Rox

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

I'm so glad I found this again. I don't know why I missed the last two chapters. The fight between the mother and son dragons, was brilliant, I just hope Dyster wins the battle. He'll get his revenge on his horrid mother. A brilliant chapter, Rox! :) Sandra xxx
but he paid no(t) heed.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2019

Thanks so much Sandra. I think I've got my mojo back for writing this. =} Rox

Comment from Shirley McLain

Excellent

Loved the chapter and plan on following you and the story. The story was full of action with strong characters. I did not find anything to tell you about. Have a great day. Shirley

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 Comment Written 16-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2019

Thanks so much Shirley.

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Four black dragons lay dead in a short time, Riddare and Dyster working together, put an end to their lives. Blood turned the pristen snow bright red.
Pristen.....pristine
I love the dragon battle. Rings true from white flame and the mother nudging her dead babies and scream...I'm a mother I felt her pain. Good writing
God bless. I'm going to bookcase it

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 16-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 17-Mar-2019

Thank you for the stars, good review and helps. Glad you enjoyed it. Rox