St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "St. Louis Chapter 2 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
20 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Barbara,
Nasty stuff indeed here administered to Mac.
shook hands with his old Army buddy- not sure you need the capitalisation here.
You do use the eyes meeting thing a lot. Not just here but in the other books. It might be an idea to look at other various ways of linking these things. Such as returning attention/ looking in a particular direction and so just to vary things.
and she was unconsciousness when I got there," - unconscious.
Before long the men heard the door handle jingle - maybe jiggle rather than jingle.
G
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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Hi Barbara,
Nasty stuff indeed here administered to Mac.
shook hands with his old Army buddy- not sure you need the capitalisation here.
You do use the eyes meeting thing a lot. Not just here but in the other books. It might be an idea to look at other various ways of linking these things. Such as returning attention/ looking in a particular direction and so just to vary things.
and she was unconsciousness when I got there," - unconscious.
Before long the men heard the door handle jingle - maybe jiggle rather than jingle.
G
Comment Written 13-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 13-Mar-2019
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Thank you for the catches here. I was worried that you hadn't reviewed this. I hope you were just really busy and nothing more serious going on.
Comment from Tootsie55
Sorry I missed this GREAT chapter and the lovely rewards with it before. In the following, either and she was (in) unconsciousness OR
and she was unconscious[ness]
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2019
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Sorry I missed this GREAT chapter and the lovely rewards with it before. In the following, either and she was (in) unconsciousness OR
and she was unconscious[ness]
Comment Written 11-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 11-Mar-2019
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I will check that area. Thank you for the catch.
Comment from rheabug
This is a great addition to your ongoing book. I enjoyed reading it and hope it is going in the direction that you want it to. For me I saw no reason to change anything. Have a great Week! HUGS
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2019
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This is a great addition to your ongoing book. I enjoyed reading it and hope it is going in the direction that you want it to. For me I saw no reason to change anything. Have a great Week! HUGS
Comment Written 10-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Recently, I've found myself writing not because I had something to say, but because I felt I needed to post something. For this reason, I am taking a break from FanStory. I will be back when I've written something interesting.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
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Recently, I've found myself writing not because I had something to say, but because I felt I needed to post something. For this reason, I am taking a break from FanStory. I will be back when I've written something interesting.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
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I will miss your writing. I hope you know I enjoyed reading your post. I hope you will read my work and store points. LOL
Comment from Dawn Munro
typo -- Shouldn't there be a period after "continue" And a new sentence begin as he changes who he is talking to?"
Hahahaha! "You're a little bit nice." Barbara, I love these characters!
no comma after "mess"
You're killin' me. What an ending. I'm hooked.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
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typo -- Shouldn't there be a period after "continue" And a new sentence begin as he changes who he is talking to?"
Hahahaha! "You're a little bit nice." Barbara, I love these characters!
no comma after "mess"
You're killin' me. What an ending. I'm hooked.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
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I am not sure what you're talking about in the first sentence. I appreciate your review and fixed the comma after mess.
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It was Logan talking before, so "continue" would be addressed to him. The rest is then directed to Mac.
Comment from sandragee
Rescuing women in distress seems to be Logan's modus operandi according to Simon Knight. His friend is not at all surprised when Logan introduces Mac to him, explaining, "She got herself into some trouble tonight."
Logan's caring side emerges in this chapter, and we see the beginning of a change in the relationship between him and Mac. She says, "You're a little bit nice" and he's a little bit worried aboout her.
Good writng. Looking forward to the next installment.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
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Rescuing women in distress seems to be Logan's modus operandi according to Simon Knight. His friend is not at all surprised when Logan introduces Mac to him, explaining, "She got herself into some trouble tonight."
Logan's caring side emerges in this chapter, and we see the beginning of a change in the relationship between him and Mac. She says, "You're a little bit nice" and he's a little bit worried aboout her.
Good writng. Looking forward to the next installment.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2019
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Mac's and Logan's relationship will be very rocky. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was superb, Barbara, a really enjoyable part. There is more to this drugging than meets the eye. She must be investigating something else as well. Perhaps they are related in some way. We will have to wait to find out. Excellent writing, my friend, :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
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That was superb, Barbara, a really enjoyable part. There is more to this drugging than meets the eye. She must be investigating something else as well. Perhaps they are related in some way. We will have to wait to find out. Excellent writing, my friend, :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 04-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
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Thank you for the encouraging review.
Comment from Ben Colder
Hold on to your hat, I had an M.D. to come to my place and check me out. "I didn't know lab techs made house, no hotel calls." Never know about things. LOL. This is turning into something full of surprises.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
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Hold on to your hat, I had an M.D. to come to my place and check me out. "I didn't know lab techs made house, no hotel calls." Never know about things. LOL. This is turning into something full of surprises.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
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Thank you for the wonderful support.
Comment from seaglass
The plot continues. Now, I have to wonder if they were followed and are now being watched. I have a feeling she was drugged for more reasons than opportunities to rape. Whatever, the tension of attraction is brewing.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
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The plot continues. Now, I have to wonder if they were followed and are now being watched. I have a feeling she was drugged for more reasons than opportunities to rape. Whatever, the tension of attraction is brewing.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
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Maybe. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Well done. Logan and Mac have been thrown together by fate, but it's a good match. Hopefully, she's a skilled PI and can be a big help in finding Megan's killer. First, what would be the motive? :)
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
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Well done. Logan and Mac have been thrown together by fate, but it's a good match. Hopefully, she's a skilled PI and can be a big help in finding Megan's killer. First, what would be the motive? :)
Comment Written 04-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2019
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Hmmm, we will have to wait and see the motive.
