Beach Front Property
Not all that it is cracked up to be...50 total reviews
Comment from TPAC
I found this a very interesting write, deposited views captivating to my interests, compelling thoughts gripping my conscious defining told events. An exciting read in my opinion of this work.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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I found this a very interesting write, deposited views captivating to my interests, compelling thoughts gripping my conscious defining told events. An exciting read in my opinion of this work.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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From you TPAC... high praise!
Comment from CathyM
This is a very good poem and it told the story of Mary very well. I couldn't decide if you wanted it to rhyme throughout or why you decided to stop the rhyme sequence. I think if you either make it rhyme or not rhyme at all it will make the end more cohesive with the rest of the poem. It is a good poem but I think it could be a great poem with a little fine tuning.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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This is a very good poem and it told the story of Mary very well. I couldn't decide if you wanted it to rhyme throughout or why you decided to stop the rhyme sequence. I think if you either make it rhyme or not rhyme at all it will make the end more cohesive with the rest of the poem. It is a good poem but I think it could be a great poem with a little fine tuning.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Thanks
Comment from djeckert
am interesting and compelling story about the plight of the homeless. I like to how the end works two ways...is it kind of blaming God for her plight? , or is it saying that by the Grace of God , go I. It's up to the reader to decide. well done.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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am interesting and compelling story about the plight of the homeless. I like to how the end works two ways...is it kind of blaming God for her plight? , or is it saying that by the Grace of God , go I. It's up to the reader to decide. well done.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Thanks so much djeckert... for your sage review... yours, di
Comment from royowen
This sounds like a poor lady who's tied to her "things", but dear lady is incredibly relieved to find that they're not missing, but are still around. Unfortunately this is one of the modern sicknesses, very pointless and silly, Beautfully written free verse entry in this prose/poem contest, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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This sounds like a poor lady who's tied to her "things", but dear lady is incredibly relieved to find that they're not missing, but are still around. Unfortunately this is one of the modern sicknesses, very pointless and silly, Beautfully written free verse entry in this prose/poem contest, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 07-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Hey Roy... It is a sweet homeless woman I used to pass every day on my way to work... thanks... diana
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Yes I knew an ex-accountant who lived under a tree, wheeled his "stuff" around in a shopping trolley. Roy
Comment from Dean Kuch
I've seen these shopping cart aficionados in various big cities all over the country, Anonymous Poet.
All of their belongings--everything they possess from a materialistic viewpoint (which is rarely very much)--are stuffed into those carts. They guard them as closely as if they were guarding gold bullion in Fort Knox.
An interesting rhyme scheme lends another aspect of depth to this slice-of-real-life story poem.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
~Dean
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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I've seen these shopping cart aficionados in various big cities all over the country, Anonymous Poet.
All of their belongings--everything they possess from a materialistic viewpoint (which is rarely very much)--are stuffed into those carts. They guard them as closely as if they were guarding gold bullion in Fort Knox.
An interesting rhyme scheme lends another aspect of depth to this slice-of-real-life story poem.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
~Dean
Comment Written 07-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Hey Dean... I love cart aficiondos... thanks so much Dean... thanks. so much.... yours, diana
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You are welcome.
Comment from JudyE
Mental illness is so hard to get a handle on. Mary is paranoid about losing her belongings but occasionally she is able to play like a child. Your words have captured her mental turmoil well. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Mental illness is so hard to get a handle on. Mary is paranoid about losing her belongings but occasionally she is able to play like a child. Your words have captured her mental turmoil well. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Hey Judy... mental illness is tragic and made more so from the way our society
Comment from D.Ream
This is an original and thoughtful poem. The single lines work well to give another voice within the poem. The rhyme within the poem gives the whole piece a sense of a pace which mimics the frantic nature of the character's thoughts. The use of 'trashed' in the last line is highly effective giving the two meanings of the word.
Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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This is an original and thoughtful poem. The single lines work well to give another voice within the poem. The rhyme within the poem gives the whole piece a sense of a pace which mimics the frantic nature of the character's thoughts. The use of 'trashed' in the last line is highly effective giving the two meanings of the word.
Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 07-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 07-Mar-2019
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Hey Dean... thanks for this wonderful, thoughtful review... yours, dia a
Comment from Helena Frances
It took a second reading for me to see the visual of a homeless woman,with carts full of her belongings parked at the shoreline while she escaped her life and its limitations, as she enjoyed the freedom of the ocean--(wow, that was a long sentence :)
Powerful!
Thank you for sharing your awareness.
(The third reading made me up the five stars to six--this is an important poem:)
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
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It took a second reading for me to see the visual of a homeless woman,with carts full of her belongings parked at the shoreline while she escaped her life and its limitations, as she enjoyed the freedom of the ocean--(wow, that was a long sentence :)
Powerful!
Thank you for sharing your awareness.
(The third reading made me up the five stars to six--this is an important poem:)
Comment Written 06-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
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You should use that sentence to enter a one-line poetry contest... I thank you so much for your celestial review and for reading it three times... you are a rare breed indeed... you are reading the poem for the substance... It is always because of writers like you that I like to bring the money up as a gift to the reader... thanks so much yours, diana
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You are very welcome.
The image you created will stay with me:)
Comment from Mustang Patty
Dear Anonymous Poet,
The sad truth about Mary's situation and mental stability peeks through the lines of this story.
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest,
~Mustang Patty~
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
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Dear Anonymous Poet,
The sad truth about Mary's situation and mental stability peeks through the lines of this story.
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest,
~Mustang Patty~
Comment Written 06-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
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Thanks so much for your sage review... yours, di
Comment from moongirlwriter
I'm not sure I actually get this poem. It feels as though She has dementia. I have cared for such people and that's the way life is, brief glimpses then it goes away. Sometimes they are frightened because they are in the middle of a glimpse, and don't know how they got there or who they are with. . .so very sad and frightening.
If I missed the boat here, I apologize. I like the poem and think you've done a nice job with it.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
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I'm not sure I actually get this poem. It feels as though She has dementia. I have cared for such people and that's the way life is, brief glimpses then it goes away. Sometimes they are frightened because they are in the middle of a glimpse, and don't know how they got there or who they are with. . .so very sad and frightening.
If I missed the boat here, I apologize. I like the poem and think you've done a nice job with it.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2019
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Moomwriter... It is about a homeless woman who is mentally ill... your review soooo appreciated. yours, diana
