Not Just Pie-in-the-Sky
How to turn your hand to making money.10 total reviews
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
Exceptional monostich! I love the play on words within your short poem. You have done a great job with this one. Very eye appealing and creative. Best to you in the contest; this is a great entry!
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
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Exceptional monostich! I love the play on words within your short poem. You have done a great job with this one. Very eye appealing and creative. Best to you in the contest; this is a great entry!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
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Thank you so very much for your glowing review! I do like these prompts with such limitations on lines or syllables; it really tightens up and heightens the use of language and image.
Comment from trimple
Morning, Lisa
You appear to have nailed this 'Monostitch' style of poetry.
The title of your piece leads nicely onto the poem itself.
Happy baking!
I hope ya cold buggers off soon :)
Good luck in the contest.
kind regards
tracey
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
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Morning, Lisa
You appear to have nailed this 'Monostitch' style of poetry.
The title of your piece leads nicely onto the poem itself.
Happy baking!
I hope ya cold buggers off soon :)
Good luck in the contest.
kind regards
tracey
Comment Written 19-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2019
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Thanks for your terrific review Tracey. I don't have a cold, i just made that up... in fact i am writing so much stuff at the moment, like a woman possessed, that I am starting to blur reality with fiction!
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I am starting to blur reality with fiction!
May I suggest in that case, that you read Gabriel Garcia Marquez's book entitled, 'Love in the time of Cholera'--My fav author who is renowned for his ability to bring life to the most ordinary and mundane. His forte is 'Magical Realism'
He is exceptionally clever and uses language akin to Federico Lorca-the poet. I suspect GGM is right up your alley.
kind regards
tracey
Glad you don't have a cold. :)
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I have already noticed that you are a GGM fan from your profile. Me too!! I discovered him about 20 years ago. I love his writing, especially Love in the Time of Cholera, but also 100 Years of Solitude and others.
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Brilliant isn't he :)
And Federico Lorca, have you read any of his work?
It's divine! Leonard Cohen was inspired by him when he learned to write poetry and songs.
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We're on the same wavelength.... I have already discovered the Lorca / Cohen connection. I love their use of language, such imagery that leaves lots of room for one's own poetic imaginings.
Lorca:
Sonnet of the sweet complaint
Never let me lose the marvel etc etc
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:)
Comment from Mark D. R.
I recall helping my Mom sometimes doing the same, or a better memory of watching my Grandma and Aunt making the batter for their delicious sugar cookies
what I like:
Illustration accompanying your entry
prize ... pies ... profit
Kneading 'dough' ... (an intended double entendre with money and your 'profit'?)
unsure if your 'baker' is an adjective for 'profit' or not - or did you want to imply " baker's profit "?
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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I recall helping my Mom sometimes doing the same, or a better memory of watching my Grandma and Aunt making the batter for their delicious sugar cookies
what I like:
Illustration accompanying your entry
prize ... pies ... profit
Kneading 'dough' ... (an intended double entendre with money and your 'profit'?)
unsure if your 'baker' is an adjective for 'profit' or not - or did you want to imply " baker's profit "?
Comment Written 18-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2019
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Hi Mark, thanks for your thorough review.
Yes, as you noticed, the 'kneading dough' is a double meaning for needing to make money and thrtefore a profit.
The reference to the 'baker' is to bring in as many references as possible to baking, such as baker's dozen to get profit, but also to sound like 'make a profit'.
In my notes below I referred to sounding like I had a cold in my nose (a cold in by dose) which i hoped might get people to see that 'baker' could be understood as 'make a'.
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OK, your logic is fine!
But what about:
Kneading dough
prize winning pies
bakers make profit(s)
with no punctuation
?Pies? could be singular than ?baker? needs to agree
OMG change my ?make? to ?need? LOL
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So ... very quickly we see how we can overcomplicate what is trying to be a simple line... so hard when everyone sees things differently and has a different vocabulary and different cultural background and experience and level of interpretation! My oh my, communication is difficult!! No wonder peace on earth is a pipe dream.
Comment from victor 66
For some reason I had it in my head, I just needed to have one sentence... NOT SO! Fortunately, out of four reviews, there one that made note that I had two lines instead of one line or monostich. Obviously you didn't need the help I did. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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For some reason I had it in my head, I just needed to have one sentence... NOT SO! Fortunately, out of four reviews, there one that made note that I had two lines instead of one line or monostich. Obviously you didn't need the help I did. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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I see you have modified your entry now. It's good if reviewers can help us understand when our inexperience shows. This is my first monostitch, I'd never heard the word before this week, so I was flying in the dark a bit too.
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Yes, it appears that I was "flying in the dark" as well. I was just at a high altitude. I wish you luck on your entry. Take care.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks a real part of baker's profit that is an interesting matter and baker while kneading dough can feel how hands have hand in fetching money; well said, well done. Keep Writing Inspire Changing! -- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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This speaks a real part of baker's profit that is an interesting matter and baker while kneading dough can feel how hands have hand in fetching money; well said, well done. Keep Writing Inspire Changing! -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Thank you for your review. I do like hand-made items... love goes into them, and what better to do for your family than make something nice with your own hands such as yummy pies.... and also to make money by making them for other people to enjoy.
Comment from royowen
This is an excellent monostich poetic entry in this contest. This is very funny, and also a very clever contest contender, good luck and may your star shine, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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This is an excellent monostich poetic entry in this contest. This is very funny, and also a very clever contest contender, good luck and may your star shine, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Thank you Roy. This is my first ever monostitch. I have only heard the word recently. I am pleased you think it is worthwhile.
Thanks so much for reviewing it.
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Well done
Comment from JudyE
Kneading dough satisfies some need in me -- pardon the pun. And if you can turn a hobby into something that earns you a little extra, then it's a good way to go.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Kneading dough satisfies some need in me -- pardon the pun. And if you can turn a hobby into something that earns you a little extra, then it's a good way to go.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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So... you are a pastry-puncher! Thanks for reviewing my first-ever monostitch. I never knew there was such a thing until recently.
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I've only ever done a couple of doggerel poems so I'm learning a lot here too about poetry.
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Doggerel rhyming couplets is my style too. it amazes me to find out about these other complexities of rhyming schemes. It's like playing bridge or chess, when i am stuck back playing snap!
Different strokes for different folks, eh?
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Haha. Yes, I guess that's the story. I find it a bit hard reviewing poetry when I really know so little about it.
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Me too. I guess we just have to rely on an instinctive response to it... does it work as an idea or image or message or entertainment, and not get bogged down with technicalities which I may not understand anyway.
Comment from djsaxon
Very clever play on words here. I find the monostich concept quite daunting but you have nailed it with humour. Kneaded it perhaps. Even managed to sneak in allit. Best wishes for the comp. DJ
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Very clever play on words here. I find the monostich concept quite daunting but you have nailed it with humour. Kneaded it perhaps. Even managed to sneak in allit. Best wishes for the comp. DJ
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Thanks very much for reviewing this posting. I hesitate to call it a poem. Monostitch? I'd never heard of that until this week.
I seem to be in a word-play phase at the moment; no doubt I will overdose soon and move on to some other fascination.
Comment from Christine C Autry
I liked your poem. I like baking so this was right down my alley. It was a happy poem. It was very well written and I like the artwork in it too. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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I liked your poem. I like baking so this was right down my alley. It was a happy poem. It was very well written and I like the artwork in it too. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Thanks for your review Christine. I am glad you commented on it being a happy poem. So many postings are bleak or ghoulish or overly sentimental (to my taste anyway... no real harm in showing emotion). And baking is such an elemental pleasure, getting your hands into the dough and making something delicious to share... even if it looks lop-sided like my offerings usually are!
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You are Welcome. It does make me happy to see something fun sometimes. lol.
Comment from 24chas
I liked this read, unknown poet. It was very clever and I had a little chuckle when I read it. Liked the artwork that you matched with your words. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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I liked this read, unknown poet. It was very clever and I had a little chuckle when I read it. Liked the artwork that you matched with your words. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Thanks for your supportive comments in your review. I find I am best at light, entertaining poems (but can you really call a monostitch a poem??) Thanks for your good wishes.