St Louis
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "St. Louis Chapter 1 part 1"Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?
42 total reviews
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Seemed in Paragraph One Logan Nelson was agitated with life in general coming to ring the doorbell.
"back yard" should be backyard.
Seemed Logan Nelson had issues with a female PI.
Why are the "Outside Logan found" paragraphs at the end of the chapter repeated, as are the character listings?
Seemed Logan Nelson is way overstepping his bounds right from the start.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2022
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Seemed in Paragraph One Logan Nelson was agitated with life in general coming to ring the doorbell.
"back yard" should be backyard.
Seemed Logan Nelson had issues with a female PI.
Why are the "Outside Logan found" paragraphs at the end of the chapter repeated, as are the character listings?
Seemed Logan Nelson is way overstepping his bounds right from the start.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2022
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Logan had a few problems. He's used to getting his way and so is this female PI. They clash. I will check those areas out.
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
Barbara, I carefully read a chapter close to this one Yet, Part 2 doesn't work out
Anyway, I had read down to a list of your chacters, gave your piece a Five-Star, and suddenly the wholw left my desk top.
My fingers are stiff and awkward. I must have touched a wrong key
Don
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2019
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Barbara, I carefully read a chapter close to this one Yet, Part 2 doesn't work out
Anyway, I had read down to a list of your chacters, gave your piece a Five-Star, and suddenly the wholw left my desk top.
My fingers are stiff and awkward. I must have touched a wrong key
Don
Comment Written 18-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Tootie
Hi Barbara! Since we're coming in late to read this book, it was important to start at the beginning. Also read the intro you posted. This is AWESOME! The dialogue flows so naturally, and you've seamlessly added details/descriptions, too. You bring the reader right into the scene! Such a great start to this novel and we know you've written many more chapters. Will read them as time permits.
God Bless,
Bill & Cathy
(Commando & Tootie)
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
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Hi Barbara! Since we're coming in late to read this book, it was important to start at the beginning. Also read the intro you posted. This is AWESOME! The dialogue flows so naturally, and you've seamlessly added details/descriptions, too. You bring the reader right into the scene! Such a great start to this novel and we know you've written many more chapters. Will read them as time permits.
God Bless,
Bill & Cathy
(Commando & Tootie)
Comment Written 04-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2019
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Thank you so much. I really appreciate you taking the time to read when there's no money attached. HUGS!!!
Comment from susand3022
Hi Barbara, I'm enjoying the beginning of your story and getting to know the characters. I did want to mention to you that in this chapter, you have started the last two paragraphs with the same sentence... effectively having the taxt pull up twice. You may want to fix that! :)
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2019
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Hi Barbara, I'm enjoying the beginning of your story and getting to know the characters. I did want to mention to you that in this chapter, you have started the last two paragraphs with the same sentence... effectively having the taxt pull up twice. You may want to fix that! :)
Comment Written 10-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2019
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I sure will thank you for the catch. I am on it right now.
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your welcome! :)
Comment from Y. M. Roger
I'm lovin' it and you've definitely got a new reader here, Barbara! ;) ;) Now I can read the one that posted today and 'get it' -- thanx so much! ;) :) Yvette :)
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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I'm lovin' it and you've definitely got a new reader here, Barbara! ;) ;) Now I can read the one that posted today and 'get it' -- thanx so much! ;) :) Yvette :)
Comment Written 17-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from djsaxon
HI Barbara. Nice write. I love that it is essentially dialogue driven and particularly like the lack of speech tags. I am also a fan of the italic device to indicate thought. I must seek out the prologue and bring myself up to speed. Cheers - DJ
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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HI Barbara. Nice write. I love that it is essentially dialogue driven and particularly like the lack of speech tags. I am also a fan of the italic device to indicate thought. I must seek out the prologue and bring myself up to speed. Cheers - DJ
Comment Written 16-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2019
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Thank you for dropping by, This novel isn't about the Jewish issue. It was my previous one, but I promise your input is always welcome.
Comment from rtobaygo
Good afternoon, Barbara
Enjoyed the post. Virtual six. I can see the unavoidable confrontation between Mac and and Logan simply because he thinks she's not up to the task. Being a Major, Logan is accustomed to giving orders, not following them. The chauvinistic remark that he could see Mac's father hiring her as a receptionist, but not P.I. speaks volumes on his opinion regarding women as equals. ''Looking forward to how their develops.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
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Good afternoon, Barbara
Enjoyed the post. Virtual six. I can see the unavoidable confrontation between Mac and and Logan simply because he thinks she's not up to the task. Being a Major, Logan is accustomed to giving orders, not following them. The chauvinistic remark that he could see Mac's father hiring her as a receptionist, but not P.I. speaks volumes on his opinion regarding women as equals. ''Looking forward to how their develops.
Take care and stay safe,
Ray
Comment Written 16-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the encouraging review and the virtual six.
Comment from sandragee
When the impatient and condescending Logan Nelson says "I've really made an ass of myself, haven't I?", the cool, calm Mac Morgan doesn't dispute the comment. She tells him that when she has information, she will call his dad. His reply is that he will come by tomorrow to be fill in on the new information she has. This is an interesting start to what is going to be an interesting relationship between these two characters. Nice job.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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When the impatient and condescending Logan Nelson says "I've really made an ass of myself, haven't I?", the cool, calm Mac Morgan doesn't dispute the comment. She tells him that when she has information, she will call his dad. His reply is that he will come by tomorrow to be fill in on the new information she has. This is an interesting start to what is going to be an interesting relationship between these two characters. Nice job.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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I am hoping I can pull of the interaction I am hoping for. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from AdaJulie
This was enjoyable. This is an excellent read. Very enjoyable and kept me interested. I like the story and look forward to reading more of your work. Great job on this
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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This was enjoyable. This is an excellent read. Very enjoyable and kept me interested. I like the story and look forward to reading more of your work. Great job on this
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the kind review.Tha
Comment from kiwijenny
Barbara I wish I had a six . I'm so excited to be part of reviewing something you've written at the beginning...wahoo.im going to go back and read the prologue too. Wahoo. A novel yay..YES....very well penned
God bless
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Barbara I wish I had a six . I'm so excited to be part of reviewing something you've written at the beginning...wahoo.im going to go back and read the prologue too. Wahoo. A novel yay..YES....very well penned
God bless
Comment Written 12-Feb-2019
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2019
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Thank you for the encouragement. I appreciate it.
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You are welcome
