Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Rhonnie,

I thought this was a fun little story (in a play.) I also thought the name 'Da Vinci' was very, very cool.

Although these two kids made up and figured things out, I was sad, 'cause I thought, WOW, they are going to be in sooo much trouble when mom finds out what they've been doing!!

Here are a couple other thoughts:
1.) the info beneath 'at rise of curtain' -- why is it there? You go right into showing/telling us all of this anyway. Is it really needed?

2.) Her little brother (trotting?) in smiles at her and ask

Thanks a bunch!

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 22-Jan-2019

HELLO ROBYN: Thank you for viewing and complementing on my poem here. You are appreciated. God bless you. Cordially: rhonnie69.

Comment from Wabigoon

Excellent

Rhonnie--
Thanks. Enjoyed this. I think, however, even Da Vinci started out like a kid. He probably had great talent, whether "god given" or not I do not know. Incidentally you start off with Da Vinci but call the kid Di Vinci. Maybe need to settle on one spelling. There certainly is a way in which kids can say things with drawing they lose when they get bigger, after school gets to them, grown ups.

Noticed this:
Her little brother (totting) in smiles at her and (ask) her to let him draw with her. "toddling?" and "asks"

Best
Wabigoon

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019

HELLO WABIGOON: Thank you for viewing and commenting on my script here. You are appreciated. Thank you for pointing out my typo in my spelling of the little boy's name at the start. I meant to spell his name, Di Vinci. Just to make it slightly different from, Da Vinci. I've imagined that if the kid in the picture can draw the picture that he drew...that he is very well able to ask for anything that he wants. As for his totting in...I've changed that to, came in. Thank you for your help. I needed that. God bless you. Cordially: rhonnie69.

Comment from country ranch writer

Excellent

Hum writing on the walls is a big no no, and they are lucky mom hasn't found out about it yet, or she will have them both washing the walls.

 Comment Written 21-Jan-2019

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2019

HELLO COUNTRY RANCH WRITER: Thank you for viewing and commenting on my script here. As usual, you are appreciated. I've imagined that if Mom has read the book entitled: The Di Vinci Code... she'll give the kids a pat on their backs. The, TOP, half that is. LOL. I'd recommend to Mom that she read that book. Its author's name is: Dan Brown. If you find the time...check it out of your local library for a good read. God bless you and yours. Cordially: rhonnie69.

reply by country ranch writer on 21-Jan-2019

Mom would have to have a heart of gold not to get upset at her little artists.