Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 147 "Fancyville"Assorted poetry
10 total reviews
Comment from Y. M. Roger
So, Sir Bill, I'll not admit surrender on this, but I have to say I've had to read quite a few times ... First, I've gotta say I really enjoyed the suite of matching rhymes - not seen that quite like this before and it's definitely something I'm have to try sometimes -- you make it look easy and I KNOW it wasn't so, kudos there! Now, as to messaging of the author - if there is one....heck, it could be just a meandering dark thought piece, I guess - but I'm guessing it may have to do with the affluent or well-off (Fancyville) misusing natural resources (water) that they (Jack and Jill) have seemingly harnessed for their own use (bottled water)..... Once again, if I'm completely off base, I claim the blonde defense and you're welcome to have a good laugh! ;) Thank you for sharing! ;) Yvette
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2019
So, Sir Bill, I'll not admit surrender on this, but I have to say I've had to read quite a few times ... First, I've gotta say I really enjoyed the suite of matching rhymes - not seen that quite like this before and it's definitely something I'm have to try sometimes -- you make it look easy and I KNOW it wasn't so, kudos there! Now, as to messaging of the author - if there is one....heck, it could be just a meandering dark thought piece, I guess - but I'm guessing it may have to do with the affluent or well-off (Fancyville) misusing natural resources (water) that they (Jack and Jill) have seemingly harnessed for their own use (bottled water)..... Once again, if I'm completely off base, I claim the blonde defense and you're welcome to have a good laugh! ;) Thank you for sharing! ;) Yvette
Comment Written 18-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2019
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Here?s my story...
Automatic writing, followed by member critique, and polished off with Mona Lisa smile, affirmative, head nodding gets formed into ?Fancyville suffers water and air pollution disaster? is news, where third world air and water pollution somehow isn?t.
Comment from lyenochka
Wow. You created a thought-provoking poem which starts out with an allusion to the nursery rhyme and ends with a social commentary. Fancyville needs a government that will do something. Sounds terribly familiar.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2019
Wow. You created a thought-provoking poem which starts out with an allusion to the nursery rhyme and ends with a social commentary. Fancyville needs a government that will do something. Sounds terribly familiar.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2019
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Thanks, lyenochka.
Comment from trimple
Good evening Bill
I read this earlier today and was quite taken back by it and was wondering how to review. Your poem stayed with me on and off throughout this afternoon...
Firstly the title...
It gave me the impression of all things sweet but with the poem, it left an odd juxtaposition in my mind.
Am I to assume that basically, we are never happy, no matter what?
I guess I never will
understand what thy(they?) had found,
floating freely in the morning's misty air.
Been a while since I was last on the site. Nice to see your work again. Always thoughtful, sometimes obscure but always interesting. :)
much love
trimple
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
Good evening Bill
I read this earlier today and was quite taken back by it and was wondering how to review. Your poem stayed with me on and off throughout this afternoon...
Firstly the title...
It gave me the impression of all things sweet but with the poem, it left an odd juxtaposition in my mind.
Am I to assume that basically, we are never happy, no matter what?
I guess I never will
understand what thy(they?) had found,
floating freely in the morning's misty air.
Been a while since I was last on the site. Nice to see your work again. Always thoughtful, sometimes obscure but always interesting. :)
much love
trimple
Comment Written 17-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
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I know I should include a note, but the reactions to this ?obscure? poem has been varied, as readers choose a theme and find their meaning. I intended the global crisis of polluted air and water to hit harder when cherished images become open graves.
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Well I loved it. It isn't a poem that you can just read and forget, as I mentioned earlier. I truly enjoyed thinking about this today.
Yes, I can see where you are coming from with the global crisis. I love also your description...
'global crisis of polluted air and water to hit harder when cherished images become open graves.'
You little poet you you you you you... :)
Comment from Teri7
Bill, This is a very interesting Tercet Suite you have penned about Jack and Jill and the townspeople. You used very interesting words and very interesting art work. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
Bill, This is a very interesting Tercet Suite you have penned about Jack and Jill and the townspeople. You used very interesting words and very interesting art work. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 17-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
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Thanks, Teri
Comment from nomi338
This is a tale as old as time. Often told, it never changes. When you want and need it, it is never there. Once it arrives, you no longer want or need it. This is one of the most irritating aspects of life. That is the way it is , it also the way it is going to always be.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
This is a tale as old as time. Often told, it never changes. When you want and need it, it is never there. Once it arrives, you no longer want or need it. This is one of the most irritating aspects of life. That is the way it is , it also the way it is going to always be.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
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Thanks for seeing that in this piece, nomi.
Comment from Teresa Alford
Whenever I read poetry, I am transfixed how unique and clever it can be since it is not a skill I have. My hat is off to you. Good job. I like the picture. TA ";~)
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
Whenever I read poetry, I am transfixed how unique and clever it can be since it is not a skill I have. My hat is off to you. Good job. I like the picture. TA ";~)
Comment Written 17-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
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Thanks, TA
Comment from Earl Corp
So is Fancyville Jack and Jill's hometown? Why are the townspeople laying lifeless? Is the water no good? Your poem rhymed, made sense, and entertained but it did leave unanswered questions. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
So is Fancyville Jack and Jill's hometown? Why are the townspeople laying lifeless? Is the water no good? Your poem rhymed, made sense, and entertained but it did leave unanswered questions. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
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There have been a couple reviews that gave meaning to the poem. I will go with their analyses. Poison air and water is a global problem that won?t see action until it hits beautiful places.
Comment from WryWriter
ABCABCABCABC rhyming scheme. Odd, but this poem reminds me of the poisonous gas used on innocent citizens and the conflict in the Middle East. The Jack and Jill makes it all the more powerful an image. Innocence and children lost.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
ABCABCABCABC rhyming scheme. Odd, but this poem reminds me of the poisonous gas used on innocent citizens and the conflict in the Middle East. The Jack and Jill makes it all the more powerful an image. Innocence and children lost.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
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Parts per billion sounds good in a lab, but kills people in the real world.
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I agree 100%.
Comment from Miss Sherry
I kept reading this over and over..to fathom where your mind was going. It intrigued me as I tried to fathom where you were taking us on this waterlogged, wonderful journey. I love your work because it is a walk on the wild side every time.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
I kept reading this over and over..to fathom where your mind was going. It intrigued me as I tried to fathom where you were taking us on this waterlogged, wonderful journey. I love your work because it is a walk on the wild side every time.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
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Thanks, Sherry, for giving this a look. Poison air and water seems like third world news. Until it affects Mayberry RFD we will probably not do anything about it.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This sounds like a town hit by drought or maybe a poisonous substance infiltrated the water supply, a very serious poem hidden by a pretty facade, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
This sounds like a town hit by drought or maybe a poisonous substance infiltrated the water supply, a very serious poem hidden by a pretty facade, love Dolly x
Comment Written 17-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2019
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You are all over this poem, Dolly. Thanks for reading. Bill