Lies
A Tangled Web12 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This humorous, 5-7-5, Lies, has the correct framework and sort of lacks humor. Being held back by one's web of lies is only funny in comedies of error, where untruths are part of the plot. Nice poem though.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2019
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This humorous, 5-7-5, Lies, has the correct framework and sort of lacks humor. Being held back by one's web of lies is only funny in comedies of error, where untruths are part of the plot. Nice poem though.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2019
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Thank you for your review and comments! I appreciate your feedback.
Tirzah :)
Comment from Dean Kuch
Okay, is this some sorta riddle because if it is the meaning has gone parasailing right over my foolish, fat head.
Which is one mean feat in and of itself, lemme tell ya'!
Are we talkin' some sorta plant life here?
Sharks can swallow you whole. Well, JAWS could anyhow.
Anyway, even though I don't exactly "get it", that's probably just my fault.
Having said that, best of luck to you in the contest.
~Dean
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2019
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Okay, is this some sorta riddle because if it is the meaning has gone parasailing right over my foolish, fat head.
Which is one mean feat in and of itself, lemme tell ya'!
Are we talkin' some sorta plant life here?
Sharks can swallow you whole. Well, JAWS could anyhow.
Anyway, even though I don't exactly "get it", that's probably just my fault.
Having said that, best of luck to you in the contest.
~Dean
Comment Written 12-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2019
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Thank you for your review. I admit I may have done overboard with the abstract thinking with this one! :) If one is bold - you can break free from someone's lies once you realize they are lying to you... on the other hand, the liar may feel tortured swallowed, twisted and turned with inner turmoil unless they are a bold-faced liar and used to lying all the time.
The meaning is always in the mind of the reader! :)
Tirzah :)
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Thanks so much for the clarification, Tirzah. I sincerely appreciate that!
~Dean
Comment from Debbie Pope
I like your obscure little poem. The first two lines are well written, but straight forward. It's your third line where you allow interpretation room. I am thinking of this aa a Trump poem. That certainly fits. But it is also a generic fit for anyone who is good at lying and scheming.
Nice job.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2019
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I like your obscure little poem. The first two lines are well written, but straight forward. It's your third line where you allow interpretation room. I am thinking of this aa a Trump poem. That certainly fits. But it is also a generic fit for anyone who is good at lying and scheming.
Nice job.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2019
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Thank you for your review and comments. I appreciate your feedback.
Happy New Year!
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
What a great little 5-7-5. Your poem is nicely formatted and so well-written. I like your clever topic and it reads almost like a riddle. I enjoyed the creative approach you took with some internal rhyme. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2019
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What a great little 5-7-5. Your poem is nicely formatted and so well-written. I like your clever topic and it reads almost like a riddle. I enjoyed the creative approach you took with some internal rhyme. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2019
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Thank you for your review and comments. I appreciate your feedback.
Happy New Year!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
An unusual write and lies cannot be told without the preparation of more than one as they grow out of all proportion, food for thought here, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2019
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An unusual write and lies cannot be told without the preparation of more than one as they grow out of all proportion, food for thought here, good luck with the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 12-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2019
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Thank you for your review and comments. I appreciate your feedback.
Happy New Year!
Comment from Wabigoon
Well, humorous...and scary. The thought of being tangled in those kelp pods is a bit scary. Sometimes lies can be liberating though, can't they? I mean in cases where we're supposed to, say, confess to something really minor, unimportant but don't and the paper gets filed and no one knows the difference and life goes on -- I don't feel tangled by that sort of lie. Thanks, enjoyed it -- good picture.
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Well, humorous...and scary. The thought of being tangled in those kelp pods is a bit scary. Sometimes lies can be liberating though, can't they? I mean in cases where we're supposed to, say, confess to something really minor, unimportant but don't and the paper gets filed and no one knows the difference and life goes on -- I don't feel tangled by that sort of lie. Thanks, enjoyed it -- good picture.
Best
Wabigoon/Jeff
Comment Written 11-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Thank you for your review and comments. I appreciate your feedback!
Happy New Year!
Comment from Graybærd
Basing this on poetry alone, this is a story of how lies affect ones whole life. The one way to break free is truth.
I do wish you luck in the contest but it does say to "make us laugh".
I'm not judging this contest. Only your work and I say great job.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Basing this on poetry alone, this is a story of how lies affect ones whole life. The one way to break free is truth.
I do wish you luck in the contest but it does say to "make us laugh".
I'm not judging this contest. Only your work and I say great job.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Thank you for your review and commentary. I agree it is pushing the boundaries with humor... but that is okay! :). Sarcasm is difficult to capture sometimes...
Happy New Year!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written humorous 5-7-5. Someone who keep telling lies turn themselves into a web of lies and sometimes they are so tangled in their own lies they have no way out.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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A very well-written humorous 5-7-5. Someone who keep telling lies turn themselves into a web of lies and sometimes they are so tangled in their own lies they have no way out.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Thank you for your review and feedback. I appreciate your thoughts and comments!
Happy New Year!
Comment from Marc Grimaldi
Very true. When the conscience is still breathing, dishonesty can trouble the soul. But, sometimes bold faced lies can simply numb or anesthetize the conscience. Lying is like a disease that gets worse and worse if not properly treated. That is why maintaining trust is so important. Great work, especially for a short. Keep up the good writing!
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Very true. When the conscience is still breathing, dishonesty can trouble the soul. But, sometimes bold faced lies can simply numb or anesthetize the conscience. Lying is like a disease that gets worse and worse if not properly treated. That is why maintaining trust is so important. Great work, especially for a short. Keep up the good writing!
Comment Written 11-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Thank you for your review and comments. I appreciate your feedback and insight.
Happy New Year!
Comment from Earl Corp
Don't take this the wrong way, but your poem did not make me laugh at all. In fact if it wasn't for the title I would have had no clue what you were talking about. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Don't take this the wrong way, but your poem did not make me laugh at all. In fact if it wasn't for the title I would have had no clue what you were talking about. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2019
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Thank you for your feedback and comments. I realize I am out on the limbs here.... what I find funny others may not. I thank you for your honesty. I was working with sarcasm in line 3 but maybe not well enough! :)
Happy New Year! :)