Reviews from

When I was a Lass

sung to When I was a Lad from G&S

16 total reviews 
Comment from ElPoetry001
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Excellent.
Your story tells me that you understand that humor can be mirror to our infallibility. Yet, taken as an observation, and a rose, not characterizing it as step on our frail toes [metaphor] of the mind, we grow in humility, understanding that there is no escape from reality.
Self deprecation will be sad, and not a vacation. Cast away the bags of stress and anxiety that drag down the spider web of your mind.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2019
    Dear Friend, Thank you for your review and the AWESOME SIX stars. Your comments are generous and deeply appreciated. cheers Cass
Comment from susand3022
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Dear Author... This is MARVELOUS!!! An old Gilbert and Sullivan brought back to life! I was laughing through the entire thing. I don't know the tune but I could 'hear' it just as well, and see it going on, on a stage, getting laughs all the way through. Love that old-world comedy! VERY well done!!! Best of luck, I'd be surprised if it's not a winner!

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2019
    Dear Susan, Thank you for your review and the five stars. The tune is rollicking Gilbert and Sullivan . It reminds me of the merrigoround horses bobbing up and down, I invite you to find it and enjoy it for yourself. "When I was a Lad " from HMS Pinafore. G&S satire at its biting best. Cheers Cass
reply by susand3022 on 03-Jan-2019
    Hi Cass, I just watched that, I love musicals, it was a cute song! Your poem falls right into place. :)
Comment from JanPerry
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love the original thoughts displayed. Your obvious sense of humour and timing. Your paradee and thought provoking rhymes from Gilbert and Sullivan. Not a fan of a musical, I enjoy a play here and there. Have fun, it brings out the best in a person!

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2019
    Dear Jan, Thank you for your review and the AWESOME SIX stars. Yes, you are right, expressing humor does bring out the best in people. It's a rare gift to be able to make people laugh. Thanks again cheers Cass
Comment from Ogden
Excellent
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An amusing, pleasantly rambling, parody written to a Gilbert and Sullivan parody.

Wishing you good luck in the Song Parody contest,

Ogden (Call me Don)


 Comment Written 02-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2019
    Dear Don, Thank you for your review and the five stars. Your good wishes are duly noted and much appreciated cheers Cass
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent
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This is very well done. I really enjoyed your song parody. First stanza is my favorite.
I don't think I could write a song no matter how hard I tried. Your rhyming is great and the theme amusing. Much luck in the contest with this fine entry. Marilyn

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2019
    Dear Marilyn, Thank you for your review and the five stars. I beg to differ my dear. I think you probably could write a song given the right stimulus.(Like a tune that went off in your head like a merriground refrain) Cheers Cass
reply by BeasPeas on 03-Jan-2019
    One of these days maybe I'll give it a try. :)
Comment from Artasylum
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

My favorite songs are call and response... her favorite songs are call and respond. Good luck your funny song should win this contest... thanks for the read. yours, diana

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 03-Jan-2019
    Dear Diana, Thank you for your review and the five stars. I am not sure what you mean by call and respond, but your good wishes are blessedly evident. Thanks again cheers Cass
Comment from evesayshi
Excellent
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In my opinion, yes, I enjoyed it, although I didn't sing it - the write was entertaining enough for me and in perfect compliance with the prompt. Best of luck in the contest. I do have a suggestion however, with your permission, of course.
I would delete the added descriptive or extra words, for a smoother and more fluid rhyming rhythm, or sing/song sound, for example:

"When I was a lass and ate too much
My toes and I soon lost touch
But I worked at a dairy and tried real hard
To sell all their butter, cream and lard," etc....

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
    Dear evesayshi, thank you for your review and the five stars. Thank you also for your thoughtful comments on the wording as presented. This is a Gilbert and Sullivan tune with many trills and twinkles in it, so I need all the syllables and extra words to make it fit.I do invite you to find it and enjoy it for yourself. "When I was a lad" from HMS Pinafore. cheers Cass
reply by evesayshi on 03-Jan-2019
    Dear Cass,
    Thanks for the explanation - sorry I placed you in that position. You're very welcome, and thank you for such a courteous and warm reply...Eve
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
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A very well-written song-parody with a fun feel to the story-line and the reason for the song. When we eat too much we will definitely get too fat and become a circus freak.

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
    Dear Sandra, thank you for your review and the five stars. Your comments are soooo true. Definitely a warning for those of us who tend to over eat (pigging out) . cheers Cass
Comment from meeshu
Excellent
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Your writing is smooth and rhythmic, the language is colorful. I enjoyed singing this writing so much, I don't know the song but I got the melody just from your lyrics. Very well done..

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
    Dear Meeshu, Thank you for your review and the five stars. The tune is a delightful Gilbert and Sullivan melody that will have you dipping up and down like a merrigoround horse. I invite you to find it and see for yourself. "When I was a Lad' from HMS Pinafore cheers Cass
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Excellent
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This is a very well-written, lively, amusing song parody.
I like the use of "rewarding" to refer delicately to sex! I know
the grammatical errors are necessary, since it's a parody. Good job!

 Comment Written 02-Jan-2019


reply by the author on 02-Jan-2019
    Dear Janice, Thank you for your review and the five stars. thank you also for the comment on the "delicately used" "rewarded"
    It was a flash of inspiration that put that in. cheers Cass