Question at Life's Twilight
An 'Etheree Poem' Contest Entry13 total reviews
Comment from Jaye Bennett
The poet does wax philosophical, as do most of us. We are asked an age-old question. Do we dwell on the memories of what has gone before, or do we let faith blaze a new trail to the end . . ." It is my opinion (nothing humble about it) we should put our faith in God and persevere in traveling new trails to the end. Good job.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2018
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The poet does wax philosophical, as do most of us. We are asked an age-old question. Do we dwell on the memories of what has gone before, or do we let faith blaze a new trail to the end . . ." It is my opinion (nothing humble about it) we should put our faith in God and persevere in traveling new trails to the end. Good job.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2018
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Thank you so very much for stopping by for the read and review, Jaye -- please know you're welcome to stop by any time: rain or shine, contest or not! :) :) A very Merry Christmastime to you and all of yours! :) ;) Yvette :)Your
Comment from Bill Schott
This etheree, Question of Life's Twilight, follows the one to ten format and implies that the past fades and what was important is gone. The future is important as we go forward.
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2018
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This etheree, Question of Life's Twilight, follows the one to ten format and implies that the past fades and what was important is gone. The future is important as we go forward.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2018
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Bill -- thanx so much for your time today and always -- please know that it is so very much appreciated! :) ;) A very Merry Christmas to you and yours! :)
Comment from Janice Canerdy
I really LOVE--and am moved by--this fine etheree! So
many people have allowed their pasts to paralyze them
in the here and now. God Himself wants them to MOVE
ON. Excellent
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2018
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I really LOVE--and am moved by--this fine etheree! So
many people have allowed their pasts to paralyze them
in the here and now. God Himself wants them to MOVE
ON. Excellent
Comment Written 23-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2018
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Hi Janice,
Sorry for the delayed response....had company arrive a few days ago and all my 'me' time went away!! ;) Thank you so very much for these WONDERFUL stars, ma'am -- you've given me a smile to last through the visit with in-laws! ;) ;) LOL! Merry Christmas! Yvette ;)
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I voted for your GREAT poem. Your win was certainly well-deserved! Merry Christmas. Janice
Comment from Mark D. R.
I like the background color for your contest entry. Your text ably complements the same.
'foot falls' has an extra space between the two words
definitely like the phrasing: windswept patterns of time
While you may mean a singular 'youth,' you used a plural verb with your 'leave' in your fourth line. You can decide or not to edit the first line to 'youths' but that, indeed, may change the thrust of your verse.
Best wishes for your contest entry.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2018
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I like the background color for your contest entry. Your text ably complements the same.
'foot falls' has an extra space between the two words
definitely like the phrasing: windswept patterns of time
While you may mean a singular 'youth,' you used a plural verb with your 'leave' in your fourth line. You can decide or not to edit the first line to 'youths' but that, indeed, may change the thrust of your verse.
Best wishes for your contest entry.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2018
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"youth's" is a modifier of "foot falls" -- "foot falls" is the noun and therefore "leave" is plural. Thank you for your comments and your review. Merry Christmas!
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OK! Agreed as you just said.
Some FS reviewers may 'read' your 'foot' as a noun with the verb 'falls' - also 'footfalls' is another word possibility.
The meaning to you, as the author, is very clear. I guess my meaning 'read' it differently. As appropriate to your style, you could add an author's note to clear up the issue I had initially raised.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written Etheree, a perfect syllable count from one to ten, when we look back on our lives we see our faint prints of childhood until where we are and the memories fill our minds.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2018
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A very well-written Etheree, a perfect syllable count from one to ten, when we look back on our lives we see our faint prints of childhood until where we are and the memories fill our minds.
Comment Written 23-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2018
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Thanx so much for dropping by ..... Merry Christmas!
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
Oh, you put so much thought in this perfect Etheree, giving the rest of us much to think about. I especially love the last two verses.
Great presentation in color scheme, artwork and the centering of your poem.
I love this!
I wish you all the best in the contest!
Gale
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2018
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Oh, you put so much thought in this perfect Etheree, giving the rest of us much to think about. I especially love the last two verses.
Great presentation in color scheme, artwork and the centering of your poem.
I love this!
I wish you all the best in the contest!
Gale
Comment Written 23-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2018
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Thank you for dropping in and for your wonderful comments ... Merry Christmas!
Comment from Ogden
Your Etheree is properly constructed, and poses a question worth considering, if I get your drift.
There is something in the poem that needs your attention. 'Foot fall' actually is one word, but it doesn't mean what you assume it does. It's the sound of a footstep. (But I don't think 'footstep' works well with the conclusion your poem's message presumes.)
My intention is not to disparage your work, but to point out questionable aspects without penalizing its rating.
I hope you will find my comments helpful.
Don
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2018
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Your Etheree is properly constructed, and poses a question worth considering, if I get your drift.
There is something in the poem that needs your attention. 'Foot fall' actually is one word, but it doesn't mean what you assume it does. It's the sound of a footstep. (But I don't think 'footstep' works well with the conclusion your poem's message presumes.)
My intention is not to disparage your work, but to point out questionable aspects without penalizing its rating.
I hope you will find my comments helpful.
Don
Comment Written 23-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2018
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Actually, Ogden, the two online dictionaries I reference have one of the first definitions of 'footfall' as 'footstep'. :) :) :) And yes, I did make it two words, but I also made 'cannot' two words whereas MSWord corrects it to a single word. I guess we'll just call that one 'author choice' as I see poetry and also writing as an art form and, thus, does not need to be perfectly in line with all others. :) :) :) :) I understand perfectly if you would prefer to let it remain as an error in your perception and not vote for it. :) :) :)
I do so appreciate your time in reviewing my work thoroughly, and, more than that, I enjoy interacting with and discussing things with you...makes my 'writing therapy' all the more interactive. :) :) :) So, thank you for keeping my overly-logical blonde brain on the straight and narrow (or at least trying to do so)! ;) :)
I wish you and yours a very wonderful Christmas season and a prosperous or, at least, write-filled New Year! :) :)
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/footfall
https://www.macmillandictionary.com/us/dictionary/american/footfall
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Thank you for your compliments and well-wishes, mystery writer. I'm sorry you were offended by my critique, which still stands, despite your chosen sources. If you research it further (check usage in literature), you'll find the way the word is used, is as I explained, and not as an alternative for footstep.
That said, peace to you and yours, and I wis you a merry Christmas.
Don
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Dearest Don,
I will keep this short to avoid further miscommunication.
No offense was taken. No defense meant. Always welcome critique and dialogue.
Peace. Merry Christmas. New Year's Blessings.
And lots and lots of warming egg nog treats to you and yours!! ;) ;) ;) ;) Yvette
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Dearest Don,
I will keep this short to avoid further miscommunication.
No offense was taken. No defense meant. Always welcome critique and dialogue.
Peace. Merry Christmas. New Year's Blessings.
And lots and lots of warming egg nog treats to you and yours!! ;) ;) ;) ;) Yvette
Comment from Ms. Snyder
Yvette,
Here is a six for a very well done Etheree Poem. The syllable count is on point and you have said something very profound in the words exactly as they are flowing they read perfectly in my head. Also now I know that you are in this contest! So I dare not try! I had one, but this is so much better! I love it and I love all that you do that's why I'm your fan! Again Happy Holidays - and Cheers, Fonda
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2018
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Yvette,
Here is a six for a very well done Etheree Poem. The syllable count is on point and you have said something very profound in the words exactly as they are flowing they read perfectly in my head. Also now I know that you are in this contest! So I dare not try! I had one, but this is so much better! I love it and I love all that you do that's why I'm your fan! Again Happy Holidays - and Cheers, Fonda
Comment Written 23-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2018
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Fonda,
I apologize for my delayed response....holiday company arrived a few days ago! ;) ;) Thank you so very much for these WONDERFUL stars, ma'am -- you've given me a smile to last through visits with in-laws! ;) ;) LOL! Have a very Merry Christmas! ;) Yvette
Comment from meeshu
you have created some great images here, and your writing is thoughtful and descriptive. your form and verse are outstanding, with a message for all..
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2018
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you have created some great images here, and your writing is thoughtful and descriptive. your form and verse are outstanding, with a message for all..
Comment Written 23-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2018
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Thank you for dropping by, dude ... Merry Christmas!
Comment from Dean Kuch
I would opt for the latter option, Anonymous Poet. To let faith blaze a new trail to the end.
Why recover old ground we've already traveled? Where is the adventure in that?
Become trailblazers--that's the way to go.
Nicely composed Etheree entry for the contest.
Good luck!
~Dean
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2018
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I would opt for the latter option, Anonymous Poet. To let faith blaze a new trail to the end.
Why recover old ground we've already traveled? Where is the adventure in that?
Become trailblazers--that's the way to go.
Nicely composed Etheree entry for the contest.
Good luck!
~Dean
Comment Written 23-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2018
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Thank you for dropping by, Dean ... Merry Christmas!
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You bet 'cha.
