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Viewing comments for Chapter 83 "The Core"Shorter stories
9 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
A well deserved winner!!! That was brilliant, Bill, I'm so pleased I got to read this. I love how you've written with the internal rhyme as well as the end rhyme. And the words, well, you supassed yourself with this one, I thought they were amazing and made so much sense. Well done, and congratulations on your win! :) Sandra
reply by the author on 31-May-2022
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A well deserved winner!!! That was brilliant, Bill, I'm so pleased I got to read this. I love how you've written with the internal rhyme as well as the end rhyme. And the words, well, you supassed yourself with this one, I thought they were amazing and made so much sense. Well done, and congratulations on your win! :) Sandra
Comment Written 31-May-2022
reply by the author on 31-May-2022
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I did three different soul pieces that I liked.
Comment from GregoryCody
This read as near prose and poetry. Tough to do but it makes it Immensely powerful when writing in only so many words.
Our soul comes aboard as a gift from the Lord, and a passenger for our life's fate; awesome line
The latter condition of the blazing rendition we should not consider at all; Nice assonance internal rhyme, not to mention a really well put together line.
Eternitys call. Very powerful close.
This is a fantastic piece Bill. Btw my father was a captain in Quantico (where I was born). I hurt my arm otherwise I would've gone into OCS. You're a good man.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2018
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This read as near prose and poetry. Tough to do but it makes it Immensely powerful when writing in only so many words.
Our soul comes aboard as a gift from the Lord, and a passenger for our life's fate; awesome line
The latter condition of the blazing rendition we should not consider at all; Nice assonance internal rhyme, not to mention a really well put together line.
Eternitys call. Very powerful close.
This is a fantastic piece Bill. Btw my father was a captain in Quantico (where I was born). I hurt my arm otherwise I would've gone into OCS. You're a good man.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2018
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Thank you, Gregory. Ooh rah to your dad and sorry you lost your shot at a commission. I appreciate your kind words and I hope we can grow our writing here on FS.
Comment from Spitfire
Super. I like the alternating colors as well as the use of couplets. Nice metaphor in line three. Great advice in the last two lines.
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2018
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Super. I like the alternating colors as well as the use of couplets. Nice metaphor in line three. Great advice in the last two lines.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2018
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Thank you, Shari. It was a good one.
Comment from country ranch writer
One's soul is forever on trial it rules how our life is and how things end. We must live to the fullest to become one with the world.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2018
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One's soul is forever on trial it rules how our life is and how things end. We must live to the fullest to become one with the world.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2018
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Thanks, CRW
Comment from Sugarray77
This is an excellent entry for the Soul Writer prompt. I like the different colors you have chosen to enhance your verse. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Melissa
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2018
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This is an excellent entry for the Soul Writer prompt. I like the different colors you have chosen to enhance your verse. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Melissa
Comment Written 21-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2018
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Thanks, Melissa
Comment from Earl Corp
If I had a six star rating this poem would have earned it. It hits all four of the criteria I use to rate poetry. It rhymes, it makes sense, it's spiritual, and it invokes reader emotions. Very nice job.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2018
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If I had a six star rating this poem would have earned it. It hits all four of the criteria I use to rate poetry. It rhymes, it makes sense, it's spiritual, and it invokes reader emotions. Very nice job.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2018
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Thank you, Earl
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written poem about the soul that is the most important part of our existence and it is important to keep it healthy, fed, and clothed to enter the pearly gates equipped with all the requirements.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2018
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A very well-written poem about the soul that is the most important part of our existence and it is important to keep it healthy, fed, and clothed to enter the pearly gates equipped with all the requirements.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2018
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Thanks, Sandra, for giving this s look.Bill
Comment from Y. M. Roger
A beautiful write that, instead of trying to explain or preach, uses the colorful approach of powerful statements of description and application -- thank you for sharing! :)
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2018
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A beautiful write that, instead of trying to explain or preach, uses the colorful approach of powerful statements of description and application -- thank you for sharing! :)
Comment Written 21-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2018
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Thanks, Yvette, for this kind review.
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
What a beautiful response to this writing prompt. Our soul is so much as you have written in your poem. "Body is cold, heat of our soul is set free." That line really touched me and I loved it. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2018
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What a beautiful response to this writing prompt. Our soul is so much as you have written in your poem. "Body is cold, heat of our soul is set free." That line really touched me and I loved it. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2018
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Thank you, Cindy for the great review. Bill