Man for God
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Note to Self?"God Helps man who lives to work for mankind
185 total reviews
Comment from Ozymandias504
This was quite interesting. I liked the repetition and alliterative aspects and found the point of view to be compelling and firm. One line I particularly liked was "Write a simple, soft, symphonic, complete, common word"
Well done. I have read only a handful of works I can say that about.
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This was quite interesting. I liked the repetition and alliterative aspects and found the point of view to be compelling and firm. One line I particularly liked was "Write a simple, soft, symphonic, complete, common word"
Well done. I have read only a handful of works I can say that about.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2021
Comment from Jill McCauslin
I like your poem and I read your comments so I don 't know if you'll mind my review or not.
I understand that you intentionally don't use ending punctuation but I really missed it at times in this. Since you're using complete sentences, periods might work. Just a thought.
I prefer the lines where you use a variety of verbs and nouns, as opposed to the lines where you use mainly adverbs. Probably not a big deal but I noticed it.
I don't think acceptation is the right word in this line: Speak not the truth at random, adding colour for prejudicial or contradictory acceptation
I love the idea of this poem and I think the long lines are fine. Great work!
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I like your poem and I read your comments so I don 't know if you'll mind my review or not.
I understand that you intentionally don't use ending punctuation but I really missed it at times in this. Since you're using complete sentences, periods might work. Just a thought.
I prefer the lines where you use a variety of verbs and nouns, as opposed to the lines where you use mainly adverbs. Probably not a big deal but I noticed it.
I don't think acceptation is the right word in this line: Speak not the truth at random, adding colour for prejudicial or contradictory acceptation
I love the idea of this poem and I think the long lines are fine. Great work!
Comment Written 19-Apr-2021
Comment from bob cullen
May I commence with an honest confession and apology. In the past I've found your writing difficult too comprehend. This piece however grabbed all of my attention from the very beginning. To me it could well be a new interpretation of the original ten commandments in easy to understand English. You've missed nothing.
A truly brilliant write
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May I commence with an honest confession and apology. In the past I've found your writing difficult too comprehend. This piece however grabbed all of my attention from the very beginning. To me it could well be a new interpretation of the original ten commandments in easy to understand English. You've missed nothing.
A truly brilliant write
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
Comment from Eternal Muse
I love this advice to writers! Each couplet spells wisdom and experience.
These stood out:
"Wish to make more and more good writers (clear, compact, complete, unambiguous, impartial, global, popular, recognised, non-controversial, immortal, mortally famous, and remarkable)".
The most original composition. Thank you for your thoughts and good advice.
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I love this advice to writers! Each couplet spells wisdom and experience.
These stood out:
"Wish to make more and more good writers (clear, compact, complete, unambiguous, impartial, global, popular, recognised, non-controversial, immortal, mortally famous, and remarkable)".
The most original composition. Thank you for your thoughts and good advice.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
Comment from Anne Johnston
I really like this, you have given us all some very good advice. I especially like these lines: "Tell a story truly, simply, realistically or truthfully
Believe, Omniscient God knows and reads all your writing lovingly, keenly and justifiably."
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I really like this, you have given us all some very good advice. I especially like these lines: "Tell a story truly, simply, realistically or truthfully
Believe, Omniscient God knows and reads all your writing lovingly, keenly and justifiably."
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
Comment from bhogg
I enjoyed your post, actually read it twice. Why do we write? A question I often think about. So few of us actually achieve some level of success, but to some of your points, how do you define success?
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I enjoyed your post, actually read it twice. Why do we write? A question I often think about. So few of us actually achieve some level of success, but to some of your points, how do you define success?
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
Comment from Jasmine Girl
I agree with your on all your points in this poem. Writing is not for getting published or famous, instead to write for gaining knowledge, for mankind, projecting a thought or telling a story.
Well done.
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I agree with your on all your points in this poem. Writing is not for getting published or famous, instead to write for gaining knowledge, for mankind, projecting a thought or telling a story.
Well done.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
Comment from Wendy G
That is a big ask! I applaud the desire to write to God, and have Him alone understand and judge, but some of the other requirements would seem to me to be beyond human possibility ... Not sure if anyone could succeed. We all write imperfectly, but try to aim higher and improve to our very best. Thought-provoking nevertheless.
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That is a big ask! I applaud the desire to write to God, and have Him alone understand and judge, but some of the other requirements would seem to me to be beyond human possibility ... Not sure if anyone could succeed. We all write imperfectly, but try to aim higher and improve to our very best. Thought-provoking nevertheless.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
Comment from Goodadvicechan
Thank you for sharing with us why people write. Everyone writes for his/her purpose. Each one has his/her own way of expressing himself/herself.
Ultimately I agree with your last paragraph that a writer should follow you: "Speak briefly, to the point, the truth honestly, actually, really, fairly, truly just Address readers direct, straight, open, open-heart, honourably, positively, progressively and fast..."
Thank you.
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Thank you for sharing with us why people write. Everyone writes for his/her purpose. Each one has his/her own way of expressing himself/herself.
Ultimately I agree with your last paragraph that a writer should follow you: "Speak briefly, to the point, the truth honestly, actually, really, fairly, truly just Address readers direct, straight, open, open-heart, honourably, positively, progressively and fast..."
Thank you.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2021
Comment from amada
"Write for man, mankind, the whole human race..." This lines is so inspirational and well put in together. It is an inspiration for all of us, me, for example...when I am sad or frustrated my creati ve process seems to shut down as well; I can say that writing is good for survival as well.
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"Write for man, mankind, the whole human race..." This lines is so inspirational and well put in together. It is an inspiration for all of us, me, for example...when I am sad or frustrated my creati ve process seems to shut down as well; I can say that writing is good for survival as well.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2021
