In Search Of
A Trinet Entry8 total reviews
Comment from WryWriter
Wow! Did you take the reader on an adventure from one to another! I so enjoyed the ride. Good Trinet poem that follows formatting guidelines. I like the meaning behind the meaning aspect of this poem. I also loved your artwork choice for the theme. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2018
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Wow! Did you take the reader on an adventure from one to another! I so enjoyed the ride. Good Trinet poem that follows formatting guidelines. I like the meaning behind the meaning aspect of this poem. I also loved your artwork choice for the theme. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2018
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Appreciate very much your honesty and insights!
Comment from Lady Jane
in search of fountain(s) of youth - I think fountain should be singular here :)
But other than that, this poem flowed well and seemed to conform to prompt suggestions. It does seem intriguing to me, how poetically you've penned the search for sustenance. Your language was brilliant and the presentation was stunning. This piece shall fare well, mystery writer :) I wish you the best of luck in the contest with this profound piece.
Janelle
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
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in search of fountain(s) of youth - I think fountain should be singular here :)
But other than that, this poem flowed well and seemed to conform to prompt suggestions. It does seem intriguing to me, how poetically you've penned the search for sustenance. Your language was brilliant and the presentation was stunning. This piece shall fare well, mystery writer :) I wish you the best of luck in the contest with this profound piece.
Janelle
Comment Written 16-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
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Thank you for sharing your deep insights. Not many would get where I was going with this. So glad you did - and I did revise the fountains to fountain, Typo. Thanks again.
Comment from Earl Corp
This is a very cool style of poetry, and i'm not a real poetry guy. I like the comparison between the conquistadors, puritans, and refugees of today. Very nice job.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
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This is a very cool style of poetry, and i'm not a real poetry guy. I like the comparison between the conquistadors, puritans, and refugees of today. Very nice job.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2018
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Thank you for your support.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Such a beautiful trinet carrying us from the realms of fantasy to down to harsh reality all with such a lovely tie between the stanza such that your continuity is easily maintained! ;) ;) Love the last line...that's a great ending!! :) :) Thanx for sharing and best of luck at the polls! ;)
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018
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Such a beautiful trinet carrying us from the realms of fantasy to down to harsh reality all with such a lovely tie between the stanza such that your continuity is easily maintained! ;) ;) Love the last line...that's a great ending!! :) :) Thanx for sharing and best of luck at the polls! ;)
Comment Written 15-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018
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Thank you so much for dropping by to read and share your insightful feedback!
Comment from rama devi
Great message--human kindness is one of my favorite themes. Lovely presentation too. This seems true to form. It's an unusual form, not easy to do well. You did. However, I must honestly critique the use of cliche phrases like 'chasing rainbows' and brave new world and cities of gold and seeking new beginning. I recommend finding similes to convey the same ideas or rephrasing so the wording is more unique. That said, it works well as it is, and many readers may not mind the cliches. I just think not using them will nudge this up another notch, but it is a fine entry as it is too. Good luck!
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018
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Great message--human kindness is one of my favorite themes. Lovely presentation too. This seems true to form. It's an unusual form, not easy to do well. You did. However, I must honestly critique the use of cliche phrases like 'chasing rainbows' and brave new world and cities of gold and seeking new beginning. I recommend finding similes to convey the same ideas or rephrasing so the wording is more unique. That said, it works well as it is, and many readers may not mind the cliches. I just think not using them will nudge this up another notch, but it is a fine entry as it is too. Good luck!
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 15-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018
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Thank you for your honest and insightful suggestions. The problem I have is that I will reserve a space and then realize that the contest is ending the same day and not 3 months from now! So, the write is a little rushed - hence the cliche phrases. I did revise a few phrases. Appreciate your taking the time to help me hone my craft!
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Happy to help! I do understand...daily prompts are like 'musercise!'
Comment from zlp22
That type of poem is not easy to write. Good luck in the contest. Word flow makes it an interesting and easy read. Topic tells a somewhat sad story of people wanting freedom.
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018
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That type of poem is not easy to write. Good luck in the contest. Word flow makes it an interesting and easy read. Topic tells a somewhat sad story of people wanting freedom.
Comment Written 15-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018
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Thank you so much for dropping by to read and share your insightful feedback!
Comment from kahpot
Excellent, searching for a better life, and fortunes or misfortunes to be discovered, whether for riches or freedom to a better life, the risks are daunting, very well written and best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018
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Excellent, searching for a better life, and fortunes or misfortunes to be discovered, whether for riches or freedom to a better life, the risks are daunting, very well written and best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 15-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018
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Thank you so much for dropping by to read and share your insightful feedback!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
There is much meaning behind these words as many flee in hope of freedom and prosperity. Your words are powerful and mighty and I enjoyed your poem very much, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018
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There is much meaning behind these words as many flee in hope of freedom and prosperity. Your words are powerful and mighty and I enjoyed your poem very much, love Dolly x
Comment Written 15-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2018
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Thank you so much for dropping by to read and share your insightful feedback! Always good to hear from you.
