Celebration, Day and Night
A little bit of both . . .6 total reviews
Comment from Zue65
Oh my, even in mythologies and in fantasy world, two forces vie for recognition, the evil and the good forces are in perpetual war. I guess in life that is the reality we have to live with. There are sheep nations as there are also goat nations. Sheep nations refer to nations believing in Almighty God and the Goat nations are those who worship Lucifer and exhibiting anti-Christ spirit.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2018
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Oh my, even in mythologies and in fantasy world, two forces vie for recognition, the evil and the good forces are in perpetual war. I guess in life that is the reality we have to live with. There are sheep nations as there are also goat nations. Sheep nations refer to nations believing in Almighty God and the Goat nations are those who worship Lucifer and exhibiting anti-Christ spirit.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2018
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Thanx so much for the wonderful review, nassus -- happy holidays from a sheep nation! ;) :)
Comment from Debbie Pope
What an unusual prompt. I think that your post is absolutely perfect for the prompt. Seems to me, you are saying that St. Nick is for the "good" kids, and Krampus is for the hell raising adults. That does seem to be one of the few benefits of being grown. You don't get many presents, and you work hard to make things "nice." Go have fun with Krampus when Christmas work is done. I like the way you think.
I appreciate the extensive notes. I had never even heard the word Krampus. I was happy to learn something new.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2018
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What an unusual prompt. I think that your post is absolutely perfect for the prompt. Seems to me, you are saying that St. Nick is for the "good" kids, and Krampus is for the hell raising adults. That does seem to be one of the few benefits of being grown. You don't get many presents, and you work hard to make things "nice." Go have fun with Krampus when Christmas work is done. I like the way you think.
I appreciate the extensive notes. I had never even heard the word Krampus. I was happy to learn something new.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2018
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Thanx for the wonderful review, DP, so glad you enjoyed -- happy holidays, ma'am! ;) :)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fun write to celebrate both sides of this season's fun and I wish you luck with the contest. It was celebrated in Spain, although I did not take part, two fun Tankas here, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2018
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A fun write to celebrate both sides of this season's fun and I wish you luck with the contest. It was celebrated in Spain, although I did not take part, two fun Tankas here, love Dolly x
Comment Written 07-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2018
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Thanx so much for the review, Dolly -- happy holidays! ;) :)
Comment from Michele Harber
I think you have the right idea, comparing St. Nicholas Day in the first stanza to Krampus Night in the second, and you use the proper syllable count in both stanzas, but it leaves the reader feeling as though you set us up for something that you didn't deliver. Whether intentionally or not, you used a near-rhyme on "children" and "begin," in a similar place in each of the stanzas, thereby setting the reader up for a rhyme at the end of the poem so, when you deliver "night" instead of a rhyme for "gifts," it falls flat.
You could try something like:
Once shoes are filled, the
parties begin, and to the
Krampus theme it shifts! (or "Krampus Night it shifts," to stick to your one during the day, one at night theme)
Please take this as a corrective suggestion based on how this sounds from the reader's perspective.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2018
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I think you have the right idea, comparing St. Nicholas Day in the first stanza to Krampus Night in the second, and you use the proper syllable count in both stanzas, but it leaves the reader feeling as though you set us up for something that you didn't deliver. Whether intentionally or not, you used a near-rhyme on "children" and "begin," in a similar place in each of the stanzas, thereby setting the reader up for a rhyme at the end of the poem so, when you deliver "night" instead of a rhyme for "gifts," it falls flat.
You could try something like:
Once shoes are filled, the
parties begin, and to the
Krampus theme it shifts! (or "Krampus Night it shifts," to stick to your one during the day, one at night theme)
Please take this as a corrective suggestion based on how this sounds from the reader's perspective.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2018
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Don't think I'll be changing my entire write...took the rhyme out. thank you.
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I'll make a point of rereading it without the rhyme. The main thing is just not to set up the expectation. Your way probably did the trick. I'm glad my comment was helpful.
Comment from poetwatch
You shared your flair with the pen and I like your poem and your style of writing, yet, on the second stanza you have one more syllable on the second line. Correct this and we a-dults will party! Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2018
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You shared your flair with the pen and I like your poem and your style of writing, yet, on the second stanza you have one more syllable on the second line. Correct this and we a-dults will party! Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2018
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Thank you for the review. I appreciate the note -- it is fixed! :) ;)
Comment from Connie Frazier
Very nicely done. The poem reads simply, but is concise and clear while actually telling a complete story with history, beginning with St. Nicholas Day and ending with Krampus Night! Good luck on the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2018
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Very nicely done. The poem reads simply, but is concise and clear while actually telling a complete story with history, beginning with St. Nicholas Day and ending with Krampus Night! Good luck on the contest.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2018
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Thanx so much for stopping by, Connie -- always appreciate the read and review! :) ;) Have a great evening! :)
