Ballad o' da Bang
six 8686 quatrains16 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
You've used good allusions and metaphors. This contains a serious cautionary tale. Hopefully, the reader will take time to reflect on this. It is dark in some parts, yet hold hope in Yaweh. This is a good message for the reader who sees only the meaninglessness of it all. Well expressed.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2018
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You've used good allusions and metaphors. This contains a serious cautionary tale. Hopefully, the reader will take time to reflect on this. It is dark in some parts, yet hold hope in Yaweh. This is a good message for the reader who sees only the meaninglessness of it all. Well expressed.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2018
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I repromoted this when I saw it was a poem of the month candidate. That surprised me, but I wrote it to develop my rhyme and rhythm skills, and I am pleased by the committee's choice. I know it is too dark to win, but being picked as a possible winner is flattering. Thanks again for reading.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This is a very interesting poem Red, thinking 'beyond the big bang' that is so well talked about, but you have added your own unique signature to this well crafted ballad poem. Good luck in the contest.
cheers
valda
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2018
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This is a very interesting poem Red, thinking 'beyond the big bang' that is so well talked about, but you have added your own unique signature to this well crafted ballad poem. Good luck in the contest.
cheers
valda
Comment Written 08-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2018
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I repromoted this when I saw it was a poem of the month candidate. That surprised me, but I wrote it to develop my rhyme and rhythm skills, and I am pleased by the committee's choice.
Comment from Michele Harber
This is a very reverential and well-written poem, that flows smoothly and rhymes well. I particularly liked your mentions of other well-known and apropos references, such as the infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of keyboards (typing out Shakespeare), and the people each misidentifying the elephant because they touch only one part of his body. These added an interesting element to your poem.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2018
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This is a very reverential and well-written poem, that flows smoothly and rhymes well. I particularly liked your mentions of other well-known and apropos references, such as the infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of keyboards (typing out Shakespeare), and the people each misidentifying the elephant because they touch only one part of his body. These added an interesting element to your poem.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2018
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I repromoted this when I saw it was a poem of the month candidate. That surprised me, but I wrote it to develop my rhyme and rhythm skills, and I am pleased by the committee's choice. Yes, I hoped everyone would remember the monkey's typing and the blind men and the elephant...
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Congratulations on the nomination, and I wish you luck in the final vote.
Comment from Gloria ....
Very nicely written Ellijay. Your signature superb metre and rhyme and always a unique and authentic subject.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
Gloria
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2018
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Very nicely written Ellijay. Your signature superb metre and rhyme and always a unique and authentic subject.
Best wishes to you in the contest.
Gloria
Comment Written 07-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2018
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I repromoted this when I saw it was a poem of the month candidate. That surprised me, but I wrote it to develop my rhyme and rhythm skills, and I am pleased by the committee's choice. I fear my poems are too dark and solitary, and the committee wasted our time, but I like the attention...
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I think all your writes are terrific and would with the proper packaging be a heckuva great book. I hope you've looked into it. Congrats on your selection, you write good. :))
Comment from Y. M. Roger
Such a beautiful and so very inspiring write, LlJ!! :) ;) Have to say that my favorite stanza (although all are very good) would be that second-to-last one....love the mystery it adds to everything! :) ;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck at the polls! ;)
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2018
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Such a beautiful and so very inspiring write, LlJ!! :) ;) Have to say that my favorite stanza (although all are very good) would be that second-to-last one....love the mystery it adds to everything! :) ;) Thanx for sharing and best of luck at the polls! ;)
Comment Written 07-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2018
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I repromoted this when I saw it was a poem of the month candidate. That surprised me, but I wrote it to develop my rhyme and rhythm skills, and I am pleased by the committee's choice. And my poem got recognized! Rare thing for me...thanks for your kind words, also...
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written ballad poem with 8/6/8/6 meter and a,b,a,b rhyme scheme and a very thought-provoking theme about what is going to the world, are we heading to a big bang, or will be saved in the nick of time.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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A very well-written ballad poem with 8/6/8/6 meter and a,b,a,b rhyme scheme and a very thought-provoking theme about what is going to the world, are we heading to a big bang, or will be saved in the nick of time.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing my verses about the Big Bang Theory versus Sunday School...
Comment from Galactia
Hi
Excellent written poem.
What lyes beyond our eyes that see, is part of the unknown,
we put our faith and hope in him to whom we've never known,
But through our trials, we formed beliefs and the seed of Faith was sown
and when it blossomed with its fruits, The fruits of love had Grown,
Great job
Regards
Tia
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Hi
Excellent written poem.
What lyes beyond our eyes that see, is part of the unknown,
we put our faith and hope in him to whom we've never known,
But through our trials, we formed beliefs and the seed of Faith was sown
and when it blossomed with its fruits, The fruits of love had Grown,
Great job
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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A monorhyme quatrain in a review, most interesting. Thanks for reading my verses...I admit the Big Bang Theory answers a lot of questions, but it is in the end a rather hopeless notion...like the silence SETI hears from the skies...
Comment from karenina
Perfect. I wouldn't change a thing. Your meter and rhyme and tone and theme all came together to drum this beat of truth and faith into my soul. Your final verse so original and telling I was speechless for a bit...and thrilled to get back in line and ride the ride of your words again!
Karenina
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Perfect. I wouldn't change a thing. Your meter and rhyme and tone and theme all came together to drum this beat of truth and faith into my soul. Your final verse so original and telling I was speechless for a bit...and thrilled to get back in line and ride the ride of your words again!
Karenina
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Fred Hoyle fought the Big Bang Theory for a while, then decided it was probably correct...but it is rather deflating to the human ego, and hopeless as far as theology...thanks very much for reading my verses...
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My pleasure....Karenina
Comment from Pamusart
Hi Red. I am not religious, but something compelled me to read on. The ending is brilliant. So, this gets six stars from me. Very well written. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Hi Red. I am not religious, but something compelled me to read on. The ending is brilliant. So, this gets six stars from me. Very well written. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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I am not religious in any cultic sense. Tom Jefferson's definition of a deist comes closest. If there is nothing but the Big Bang all human history is a tragedy and there is no limit to how bad it can get...thank you very much for reading my verses.
Comment from AngieDee
Your poem is very well written and strong in rhyme. You make great points-I really like the question of the angel's song on the seventh day. Very powerful writing. Thankyou for sharing it.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Your poem is very well written and strong in rhyme. You make great points-I really like the question of the angel's song on the seventh day. Very powerful writing. Thankyou for sharing it.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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I was taught the Baptist doctrine, the Biblical Garden of Eden chapters, as a child. Maybe the Big Bang Theory is right, but it's not very comforting...thanks very much for reading and reviewing my verses.
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I too was raised in the
Baptist faith. Maybe I
read too much
into your poem-or did
understand it. I thought
it may be a response to
the Big Bang idea.
I thought it was well
written, though.
