We Are the Dead
Halloween Poem22 total reviews
Comment from tbacha58
We are the bruised and battered wives,
the tragedy of unlived lives.
We are the junkies from the street;
we are their pain and their defeat.
Wow Steve, i don't know what to write now, i need to breath as you're writing cut my breath. Steve this amazing poem should cry out to the reviewers come and get me to Win, I am here. Love reading and honored to read a famous writer, one of his poems. Terry xoxo Fanstory should give us much more then 6 Stars as this is what your poem needs.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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We are the bruised and battered wives,
the tragedy of unlived lives.
We are the junkies from the street;
we are their pain and their defeat.
Wow Steve, i don't know what to write now, i need to breath as you're writing cut my breath. Steve this amazing poem should cry out to the reviewers come and get me to Win, I am here. Love reading and honored to read a famous writer, one of his poems. Terry xoxo Fanstory should give us much more then 6 Stars as this is what your poem needs.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2018
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Terry, thanks for the wonderful review.
Famous writer? No. Not even sure I would like being one of those.
Steve
Comment from krys123
Wow! And congratulations, Steve:
> This is blow me overly powerful and so poignant, but most of all, it's very in-your-face and have you said your prayers for grace, because "They're coming, there coming, there closer, they're here!"
>I could see with this placed in this contest right next to the top.
> Congratulations again and care and have a good one, because you deserve it!
Alx
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2018
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Wow! And congratulations, Steve:
> This is blow me overly powerful and so poignant, but most of all, it's very in-your-face and have you said your prayers for grace, because "They're coming, there coming, there closer, they're here!"
>I could see with this placed in this contest right next to the top.
> Congratulations again and care and have a good one, because you deserve it!
Alx
Comment Written 05-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2018
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Alex, thank you so much for the kind words.
Steve
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You're very welcome, Steve and take care and have a good one especially because you deserve it.
Alx
Comment from Adri7enne
Brrr! We've sure been taught to fear death in western culture. All the images that stir up the boogie man - "The blackest dreams -"We are the rattling bones, the screams." Great rhyming, Steve. I can read horror stories and chuckle now. Wasn't always like that. I still don't like horror movies. I think it's the sudden flash of movement on the screen. I enjoyed your poem. It was fun to read aloud. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Brrr! We've sure been taught to fear death in western culture. All the images that stir up the boogie man - "The blackest dreams -"We are the rattling bones, the screams." Great rhyming, Steve. I can read horror stories and chuckle now. Wasn't always like that. I still don't like horror movies. I think it's the sudden flash of movement on the screen. I enjoyed your poem. It was fun to read aloud. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2018
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Thanks for the kind words and the six stars. Like you I laugh at most horror stories - I have no belief in any sort of supernatural stuff. Which is why most of the horrors in this poem spring from reality.
Steve
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Great Halloween poem Steve. I do like the continued use of - We are the...puts added emphasis on the lines, and a scary finish -
we're coming - we're closer - we're here. Good one Steve, enjoyed it,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2018
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Great Halloween poem Steve. I do like the continued use of - We are the...puts added emphasis on the lines, and a scary finish -
we're coming - we're closer - we're here. Good one Steve, enjoyed it,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 03-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Valda.
I'm not really into supernatural, so tried to convey scary things from reality!
Steve
Comment from Ogden
You, as they say, have outdone yourself, Steve! The poem is literally horrible. I wouldn't suggest changing even one terrible word.
I haven't seen the competition, but, nevertheless, I can't imagine the possibility of anything rivaling your entry. Even so, a good luck wish couldn't hurt.
So, good luck!
Don
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2018
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You, as they say, have outdone yourself, Steve! The poem is literally horrible. I wouldn't suggest changing even one terrible word.
I haven't seen the competition, but, nevertheless, I can't imagine the possibility of anything rivaling your entry. Even so, a good luck wish couldn't hurt.
So, good luck!
Don
Comment Written 02-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2018
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Why thank you, kind sir. I was happy with how this ended up, especially since I started out to write a poem in a totally different style.As for the contest, we'll wait and see...
Steve
Comment from humpwhistle
Yes, we are here. And here is a scary place.
I like your pseudo mash-up--you lull us into assuming this is yet another
straight Halloween tales of ghouls and undead. But then you switch it up with the really scary realities. I like the repeating We Are. To me it sounds like the relentless drumbeat of an approaching army. Hobnail boots, and all.
Well done.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Yes, we are here. And here is a scary place.
I like your pseudo mash-up--you lull us into assuming this is yet another
straight Halloween tales of ghouls and undead. But then you switch it up with the really scary realities. I like the repeating We Are. To me it sounds like the relentless drumbeat of an approaching army. Hobnail boots, and all.
Well done.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 02-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Lee. Ghouls come in all sorts of guises, but none of them are really supernatural. You go straight to the heart of what this is about.
I set out to write a quite different style of poem, albeit with the same ideas. But then the rhyme, the rhythm and the repetition took over. As is often the case, I don't really know what I'm doing, but I do like your insight of the approaching army in hobnail boots.
Tramp, tramp, tramp. Right now they're heading towards your southern borders, I believe, so not coming for you yet.
Steve
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Glad you like my interpretation, Steve.
I seldom end up writing what I set out to write. To me, that'd be drudgery. This twists and turns I don't anticipate put the little grins on my face.
Yes, the Hobnail Army is being deployed to repel the Flip-Flop Rag-Tag Brigade.
Have you heard the latest? Trump says, 'If the invaders throw stones at our troops guarding the border, we'll return with rifle-fire.' I suspect that's an empty threat, but then, no threat is truly empty.
I honing my Kiwi accent. I've been watching 800 Words. How is it you guys manage to work an 'r' into 'no'?
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I have nor idea! I haven't really watched 800 words. I suspected it had more Aussies than Kiwis in the cast but I just checked it out and they do seem to be mostly Kiwis. Erik Thompson, the main character, was apparently born in Scotland, came here as a child and has been in Australia for the past 20 years.
I see quite a few of the cast are doubling up from working on "Shortland Street" our long-running soap, and that's not really a recommendation as it has some of the worst soapy characteristics.
I did watch Thompson in the Aussie series "Packed to the Rafters" where he was quite good...
Yes, I heard Trump's words - we often spend half an hour in the late afternoon checking out CNN for what we call our dose of Trump-Bashing. Up one channel and we get a chuckle from Fox!
Do you reckon there might be one or two servicemen gung-ho enough to take him at his word and expect he will support them in court?
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Nearly half the country was gung-ho enough to vote for Trump, so, yes, I could see a few zealots 'following orders'. Trump is now trying to say he was misinterpreted. But I know what I heard.
As for 800 Words, I like it. Quirky characters in a quirky (beautiful) town--right up my alley. Maybe it's the Aussie cast members who sneak an 'r' in at the end of 'no'. I can't quite replicate it.
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I checked it out a little. The town they use for filming is a little place called Warkworth, not too far from here. The beach scenes are at a couple of beaches west of Auckland.
We do seem to have our share of quirkiness too. Maybe it's our way of making up for being small...
Comment from oorwull
Don't threaten me!!! I could feel you coming as I read through the verses. Particularly liked "The millions dead in war.......the General's lust for more" Very apt in today's world. Well written.
Willie
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Don't threaten me!!! I could feel you coming as I read through the verses. Particularly liked "The millions dead in war.......the General's lust for more" Very apt in today's world. Well written.
Willie
Comment Written 02-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Thank you. You should be safe now until next Halloween!
You are right - the true terrors today are in reality, not fantasy.
Steve
Comment from Six-Star Writer
There were a lot of trite phrases and images in this poem, but I liked the pace, cadence, and tone. I also liked the way the work built to a succinct end. Not too bad.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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There were a lot of trite phrases and images in this poem, but I liked the pace, cadence, and tone. I also liked the way the work built to a succinct end. Not too bad.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2018
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Thank you.
Steve
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Thank you, kind writer.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Poets seem to really love Halloween. Of course, us reviewers enjoy it too because we get to read good poems such as this one. I feel you nailed the theme of this contest. I wish you luck.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2018
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Poets seem to really love Halloween. Of course, us reviewers enjoy it too because we get to read good poems such as this one. I feel you nailed the theme of this contest. I wish you luck.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Barbara.
Steve
Comment from royowen
This is much more than so called, witches, goblins, ghosts and vampires. We don't need the spectres and ghouls right here. This reminds me of the killing fields of Cambodia, were half the population was slaughtered, babies dashed on trees, prisoners tortured in an ex-school, when only seven survived out of 14,000. Your fabulously well metered, language rich narrative put the flippancy of Halloween to the sword. Well done Steve. Blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2018
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This is much more than so called, witches, goblins, ghosts and vampires. We don't need the spectres and ghouls right here. This reminds me of the killing fields of Cambodia, were half the population was slaughtered, babies dashed on trees, prisoners tortured in an ex-school, when only seven survived out of 14,000. Your fabulously well metered, language rich narrative put the flippancy of Halloween to the sword. Well done Steve. Blessings, Roy
Comment Written 31-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2018
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Thanks, Roy.
I'm not a great believer in the supernatural, but I do like to partake in these contests, so I make my own kind of Halloween reality. It's mainly a made-up celebration anyway!
Thanks for the kind words, and yes, I did want to highlight some of the dark things that happen in our world - and not just on Halloween!
Steve
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Good job my friend