Forgotten
A Chain Rhyme34 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
A lovely poem about a long forgotten grave, now itself buried beneath - this mound of gloom - great phrasing. Emotional descriptions of the unknown soldier graves, and the 'loving hearts' that waited at home. Enjoyed this read,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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A lovely poem about a long forgotten grave, now itself buried beneath - this mound of gloom - great phrasing. Emotional descriptions of the unknown soldier graves, and the 'loving hearts' that waited at home. Enjoyed this read,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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I'm so glad. Thank you!
Comment from Bill Schott
This chain rhyme, Forgotten, follows the set up and brings us to the site of the person whose identity is lost to time. It a less dramatic way, I see this in cemeteries when I visit the fallen. The relatives who keep their loved one's graves up, die off. The result is the eventual over growth and disappearance of the stone. Sad.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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This chain rhyme, Forgotten, follows the set up and brings us to the site of the person whose identity is lost to time. It a less dramatic way, I see this in cemeteries when I visit the fallen. The relatives who keep their loved one's graves up, die off. The result is the eventual over growth and disappearance of the stone. Sad.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2018
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So many old, old graves are left unattended. I found five graves on my land years ago. No clue as to who or when. I figure a family that once lived there. Thank you for reviewing this. I appreciate your understanding.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Yvonne, This is a wonderful chain poem. So very sad about a fallen soldier, a family who will never see their smiling son ever again. A story and a sorrow all but forgotten in the passing of time. I liked your poem a lot. Warm regards. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2018
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Hi Yvonne, This is a wonderful chain poem. So very sad about a fallen soldier, a family who will never see their smiling son ever again. A story and a sorrow all but forgotten in the passing of time. I liked your poem a lot. Warm regards. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 03-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2018
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Thank you for always supporting me. 8-)
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It's a beautiful poem, and you got my vote. x
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Thank you!!!!
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I'm following this. So far so good. Cross fingers.
Comment from Mitchell Brontė
What a powerful, emotional poem, the sadness of this unmarked grave is painted with such heartfelt imagery. Excellent meter and terrific rhyming throughout, you have really got me gasping with this one.
Mitchell
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2018
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What a powerful, emotional poem, the sadness of this unmarked grave is painted with such heartfelt imagery. Excellent meter and terrific rhyming throughout, you have really got me gasping with this one.
Mitchell
Comment Written 03-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2018
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Thank you for a great review. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from Galactia
Hi
Excellent written chain rhyme poem. I have not done this form before but can see you have the rhyme scheme of aaba, bbcb, ccdc, dddd is spot on.
Great job and good luck
Regards
Tia
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2018
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Hi
Excellent written chain rhyme poem. I have not done this form before but can see you have the rhyme scheme of aaba, bbcb, ccdc, dddd is spot on.
Great job and good luck
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 01-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2018
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Thank you. I appreciate that. You must try one and let me know when you do.
Comment from LIJ Red
Back in the woods, where Mt. Nebo church once stood, is a graveyard. There is a Confederate soldier who died at 23, in 1861, buried there. Forgotten. Excellent post.
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2018
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Back in the woods, where Mt. Nebo church once stood, is a graveyard. There is a Confederate soldier who died at 23, in 1861, buried there. Forgotten. Excellent post.
Comment Written 01-Nov-2018
reply by the author on 01-Nov-2018
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Thank you. I once found several unmarked graves on my land. I thought maybe it was a settlement that failed long ago, or maybe a wagon train passing through. I enjoyed making up stories about them. 8-) We also had a mound that might have been an Indian burial mound, but I was too scared to dig into it.
Comment from June Sargent
This is a touching chain rhyme that sums up the sadness and futility of war. And the victims aren't just the ones who died.
But somewhere, loving hearts are waiting for
the knock that's never heard upon the door,
to open to their boy's sweet smiling face,
not knowing it will come again no more.
A sad reminder of man's inhumanity towards man.
Well said.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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This is a touching chain rhyme that sums up the sadness and futility of war. And the victims aren't just the ones who died.
But somewhere, loving hearts are waiting for
the knock that's never heard upon the door,
to open to their boy's sweet smiling face,
not knowing it will come again no more.
A sad reminder of man's inhumanity towards man.
Well said.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much, June. I appreciate it.
Comment from BermyBye50
This is a beautifully written tribute to a lost loved one, and all the unknown soldiers and those who died without a grave marker to tell us who they were. The rhyming is perfect and the artwork enhances the theme of the poem.
Thank you for sharing.
All the best in the contest,
Eugene
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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This is a beautifully written tribute to a lost loved one, and all the unknown soldiers and those who died without a grave marker to tell us who they were. The rhyming is perfect and the artwork enhances the theme of the poem.
Thank you for sharing.
All the best in the contest,
Eugene
Comment Written 31-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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Thank you for reviewing and for the good wishes.
Comment from poesyapprentice
This poem flows really well. Because notes weren't allowed I left it up to the person who started this contest to determine whether the rhyme scheme was accurate. " in time obscured by tendrils overgrown"-- nice. I enjoyed the imagery. The carryover to the next stanza in order to finish the question gave me pause because I expected a new thought to start there. I had another glitch when reading with the phrasing in "not knowing it would come again no more". My first thought was that perhaps the phrasing was chosen to force the rhyme, but the rhyming seemed quite unforced everywhere else. I would have preferred the font size to be a bit smaller so that the lines fit where they belonged for a neater display. Great picture choice, and I actually did enjoy the story and the read and hope this piece does well in the vote. Thank you for promoting.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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This poem flows really well. Because notes weren't allowed I left it up to the person who started this contest to determine whether the rhyme scheme was accurate. " in time obscured by tendrils overgrown"-- nice. I enjoyed the imagery. The carryover to the next stanza in order to finish the question gave me pause because I expected a new thought to start there. I had another glitch when reading with the phrasing in "not knowing it would come again no more". My first thought was that perhaps the phrasing was chosen to force the rhyme, but the rhyming seemed quite unforced everywhere else. I would have preferred the font size to be a bit smaller so that the lines fit where they belonged for a neater display. Great picture choice, and I actually did enjoy the story and the read and hope this piece does well in the vote. Thank you for promoting.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2018
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The lines fit when I view it. Are you on a device other than a computer? Thank you for the lovely comments, and for the good wishes. I'm glad you thought the rhyming was good.
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Thank you for your gracious reply....Strange, I use a 14 inch Chromebook and yours is the first I've seen where the lines were broken where I felt there wasn't intent to do so. From this read, I believe you to be a skilled/talented poet so I plan to check out more of your work. Will check out the booth for this contest, as well. : )
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Thank you so much. That's so nice of you.
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My pleasure.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Yvonne,
You've linked this well with the cascading third line rhyme
The theme enhances the link between all the stanzas, as well
Death can be lonelier when time hides all traces of connection.
Written like a sonnet with the third stanza shift and reflective final verse
Beautifully written and presented
Robert
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
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Hello Yvonne,
You've linked this well with the cascading third line rhyme
The theme enhances the link between all the stanzas, as well
Death can be lonelier when time hides all traces of connection.
Written like a sonnet with the third stanza shift and reflective final verse
Beautifully written and presented
Robert
Comment Written 30-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2018
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Thank you for reviewing, and for understanding my intention.
