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Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The Bear Who Haunted Garnet"Free verse poems
30 total reviews
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a wonderfully composed poem, Carol. Described so well. Bears are truly amazing and powerful creatures--fearsome actually. I love how you've described her snuffing, paws as big as dinner plates, claws. The footnote about Garnet is interesting, too. The real gold, as you point out, wasn't in the metal, but in the services provided to the hopeful prospectors gravitating to those towns. Well done. Marilyn
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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This is a wonderfully composed poem, Carol. Described so well. Bears are truly amazing and powerful creatures--fearsome actually. I love how you've described her snuffing, paws as big as dinner plates, claws. The footnote about Garnet is interesting, too. The real gold, as you point out, wasn't in the metal, but in the services provided to the hopeful prospectors gravitating to those towns. Well done. Marilyn
Comment Written 29-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much for this review, Marilyn! I also think that bears are amazing and I love them - from a safe distance of course :))
Carol
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Gotta love those magnificent creatures, but I wouldn't want to meet up with one either. :)
Comment from meeshu
This is a very fine piece of writing. It has a wonderful cadence and pace. Excellent verse and verbiage. Well done, ciliverde. a wonderful story poem........................meeshu
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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This is a very fine piece of writing. It has a wonderful cadence and pace. Excellent verse and verbiage. Well done, ciliverde. a wonderful story poem........................meeshu
Comment Written 29-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Thank you, yes it's a story in a poem. The bear lives happily ever after, of course. The miners...who knows? :))
Carol
Comment from evesayshi
In my opinion, an epic write in its stunning free verse narration and smoothly flowing tale. I was captivated by the story and its telling, and I loved its fluid construction and presentation - definitely an "Exceptional" write - thank you for your informative notes and sharing such a remarkable poem...
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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In my opinion, an epic write in its stunning free verse narration and smoothly flowing tale. I was captivated by the story and its telling, and I loved its fluid construction and presentation - definitely an "Exceptional" write - thank you for your informative notes and sharing such a remarkable poem...
Comment Written 29-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much for this very nice review, you really put a smile on my face. So glad you enjoyed it!!
Carol
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You are very welcome, Carol, a superb read - thank you for sharing...Eve
Comment from Linda Kay
I really enjoyed the story telling of this poem. Your word choice was so vivid and the bear's tracking made good use of all five senses. I also enjoyed the history lesson in your notes about the ghost town of Garnet.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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I really enjoyed the story telling of this poem. Your word choice was so vivid and the bear's tracking made good use of all five senses. I also enjoyed the history lesson in your notes about the ghost town of Garnet.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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I enjoyed the research about Garnet, and about grizzlies too. Growing up in Montana we all knew a fair amount about bears already, but I did some reading on them - so interesting!
Thank you for this exceptional review :))
Carol
Comment from Ulla
Hi Carol, A very well written free verse poem with a great story told within. I was so informative and I've learned a lot. I was just following the grizzly in its footsteps observing every turn. Wonderful. Warm regards. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Hi Carol, A very well written free verse poem with a great story told within. I was so informative and I've learned a lot. I was just following the grizzly in its footsteps observing every turn. Wonderful. Warm regards. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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I grew to love my grizzly in the telling of this story - such a smart old girl, well-fed, and ready for a nice long sleep over the winter :)))
Thanks, Ulla!
Carol
Comment from Rickie1
CILIVERDE
Great story! It unfolded and kept my attention to the end. Your knowledge of bear behavior is quite detailed. Is it personal experience? The bear is the survivor while the humans are fading. I enjoyed reading your work.
Rickie
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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CILIVERDE
Great story! It unfolded and kept my attention to the end. Your knowledge of bear behavior is quite detailed. Is it personal experience? The bear is the survivor while the humans are fading. I enjoyed reading your work.
Rickie
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Hi Rickie,
I grew up in Montana and my dad was a hunter so we all knew quite a bit about bears. I did read up on grizzlies a little bit but so far I've only seen them from a distance - which is good. I have seen quite a few black bears, I always enjoy seeing them (again, from a distance!).
Thank you so much!!
Carol
Comment from Pantygynt
I really enjoyed this story in a poem as it was so packed with information set before us almost simultaneously. Your choice of a native American setting with which to open was an excellent way to begin. throughout the poem we are treated to a. the bear's actions, b. the setting which that action takes place which, appropriately enough changes from the rural, native populated, through the rural to the slightly more urban as she enters Garnet, c. the bear's feelings as she passes through these landscapes. This is brilliantly handled.
The wildness of the bear contrasts with her own past experiences of man - man whom she has seen and killed but who has never seen her and lived to tell the tale.
You make our flesh creep as well as giving us a naturalist's view of the animal. The instinct that tells of the coming hibernation time and the litter of cubs in her womb.
As she climbs the mountain I sense something more though. If this were normal hibernation would she not seek out shelter, a cave or hollow tree rather than remain in the open where 'old moon would rise / to gild her frosted fur. Is this I asked myself, the end of the line for the old bear? And if so what of the cubs she sensed earlier, are they also to be casualties of cruel nature?
I am not saying that these questions should have been answered in the poem, rather that leaving them unanswered adds to the mystery of the whole piece.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2018
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I really enjoyed this story in a poem as it was so packed with information set before us almost simultaneously. Your choice of a native American setting with which to open was an excellent way to begin. throughout the poem we are treated to a. the bear's actions, b. the setting which that action takes place which, appropriately enough changes from the rural, native populated, through the rural to the slightly more urban as she enters Garnet, c. the bear's feelings as she passes through these landscapes. This is brilliantly handled.
The wildness of the bear contrasts with her own past experiences of man - man whom she has seen and killed but who has never seen her and lived to tell the tale.
You make our flesh creep as well as giving us a naturalist's view of the animal. The instinct that tells of the coming hibernation time and the litter of cubs in her womb.
As she climbs the mountain I sense something more though. If this were normal hibernation would she not seek out shelter, a cave or hollow tree rather than remain in the open where 'old moon would rise / to gild her frosted fur. Is this I asked myself, the end of the line for the old bear? And if so what of the cubs she sensed earlier, are they also to be casualties of cruel nature?
I am not saying that these questions should have been answered in the poem, rather that leaving them unanswered adds to the mystery of the whole piece.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2018
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You know what, I need to put in my notes that a lodgepole is actually a type of pine tree, common in Montana. Although I do kind of like the idea of the bear passing by a Native American setting before going to the town.
You might be interested in reading more about Garnet, Wikipedia has a decent site on it. I was wondering if, at the time of Garnet's heyday, if Montana was even a state yet. Not sure about that. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Garnet,_Montana
I was thinking when the bear wandered back up the mountain that it wasn't quite time for hibernation yet. But it would be soon, and maybe her last as she is such an old bear. Many grizzlies have white fur on their shoulders and hump, which gives them a frosted appearance. At the same time she's old, so maybe she's getting more of the white fur?
I love that you found mystery in it, and even with the explanations I hope it still feels mysterious - some people have described the poem as 'atmospheric' which I like. Thank you for the six stars and your kind comments!! Really appreciated :))
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My bad on the lodgepoles then, but the pine takes its name from the tepee poles I imagine, and I liked the idea of the bear leaving the natives be while she gives the drunken miner that she comes upon a swipe for good measure. It is a magnificent poem and yes, atmospheric is a good word for it. You have really found your metier with these free verse offerings.
Comment from RGstar
I think this would have been better placed on the book side in a competition, as not too much a poem, even if story-lined as such.
Having said that, I liked the story and the way ou elaborated, as well the transition through it.
I am giving this a six star for that reason.
Nicely done.
My best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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I think this would have been better placed on the book side in a competition, as not too much a poem, even if story-lined as such.
Having said that, I liked the story and the way ou elaborated, as well the transition through it.
I am giving this a six star for that reason.
Nicely done.
My best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2018
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Thank you, Roy. I was wondering about that, whether it was too much a story or not...but decided to go ahead with it. I mean, the old ballads used to be stories in poems, the Ancient Mariner and Odysseus. Although they were written in verse, so not quite the same. I appreciate the six very much :))
Carol
Comment from Janet Foor
A well told story in this free verse poem. I enjoyed reading from the old bears perspective. I've spent some time in Alaska where bears are prevalent and you learn not to mess with them.
Great work.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2018
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A well told story in this free verse poem. I enjoyed reading from the old bears perspective. I've spent some time in Alaska where bears are prevalent and you learn not to mess with them.
Great work.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2018
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Oh yes, you don't want to mess with the bears. If you're lucky enough to see them from a safe perspective it is wonderful!! Black bears don't worry me as much, but of course you still have to be careful. We used to have a lot of them in the hills and mountains where I grew up in Montana :))
Carol
Comment from Boogienights
That was an amazing story. I have to say that bears scare me, and we've seen our share of black bears here in Minnesota. They come into town and raid the garbage cans, apparently unafraid of humans... which make them even more scary. I loved your story.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2018
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That was an amazing story. I have to say that bears scare me, and we've seen our share of black bears here in Minnesota. They come into town and raid the garbage cans, apparently unafraid of humans... which make them even more scary. I loved your story.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2018
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Thank you so much! You need bear-proof cans, although sometimes those smart bears can figure out how to tear into them. In Montana where I grew up, we loved our bears - they would come down from the wilderness surrounding the area to find apples and garbage. Still do...
Carol