Where Hope Resides
Fours 'n Sixes/Uplifting Poetry19 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
Congrats on winning the contest with this spiritual and uplifting write. Well rhymed and timed. Apt imagery, tone, pace and theme. my only critique would be the cliche rhyme pair of love and above. Though acceptable (and it fits in well here) I don't recommend using that rhyme pair. However, I cannot think of a better one for that spot.
Let me try, though, to find one aligned with the image of clouds parting:
Revealing love
from up above,
Revealing sun
from sacred one,
Just a thought. You might play around with options there.
Great job with consonance, alliteration and assonance, especially here:
Darkness shattered,
Shadows tattered--
black fading, shades to grey.
Grief-soothing peace,
forlornness cease--
clouds waning on this day.
Inspired write.
Blessings,
rd
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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Congrats on winning the contest with this spiritual and uplifting write. Well rhymed and timed. Apt imagery, tone, pace and theme. my only critique would be the cliche rhyme pair of love and above. Though acceptable (and it fits in well here) I don't recommend using that rhyme pair. However, I cannot think of a better one for that spot.
Let me try, though, to find one aligned with the image of clouds parting:
Revealing love
from up above,
Revealing sun
from sacred one,
Just a thought. You might play around with options there.
Great job with consonance, alliteration and assonance, especially here:
Darkness shattered,
Shadows tattered--
black fading, shades to grey.
Grief-soothing peace,
forlornness cease--
clouds waning on this day.
Inspired write.
Blessings,
rd
Comment Written 19-Mar-2019
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2019
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So sorry for late reply! Thank you very much for taking the time to read and review! I love your suggestion!..I will try and change that a little later today. LOL one of the problems of being a new writer..you dont know what's cliche! haha me. :-)
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So glad you like the suggestion. I think every poet in history uses love and above and life and strife at least once! I did! But now I try to avoid them, except as internal rhymes.
Warmly, rd
Comment from DR DIP
Whoa what a wonderful write Susan. I love the rhyme scheme in this poem it creates a wonderful rhythm and beat when read aloud. Thanks for sharing with us
xdip
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2019
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Whoa what a wonderful write Susan. I love the rhyme scheme in this poem it creates a wonderful rhythm and beat when read aloud. Thanks for sharing with us
xdip
Comment Written 04-Dec-2018
reply by the author on 01-Jan-2019
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Hugs you. Sorry for the delay in response..things got a little crazy at home past few weeks. Thanks for the warm and cozy review.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Where Hope Resides", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. To me, this is a six, but unfortunately I only have fives left. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2018
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"Where Hope Resides", is an extremely well-written and delightfully descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. To me, this is a six, but unfortunately I only have fives left. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2018
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What a sweet smiling making review!!! I so aprreciate your kind words. Thank you for taking the time to read and review! Hugs
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susanjohn, if my review made you smile then I'm delighted.
Take care and God bless you,
the Duchess !(-_-)!
Comment from RGstar
After reading your review, I had to come to see if you had something new, for you are one of those I really like reading work from...in parts, especially here, our writing has similarities, if I may say so. This is beautiful writing, as it is , too, uplifting. This is one of the nicest poems of faith I have read for a long time.
Bravo.
Good luck.
My best wishes.
RGstar
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
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After reading your review, I had to come to see if you had something new, for you are one of those I really like reading work from...in parts, especially here, our writing has similarities, if I may say so. This is beautiful writing, as it is , too, uplifting. This is one of the nicest poems of faith I have read for a long time.
Bravo.
Good luck.
My best wishes.
RGstar
Comment Written 22-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
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Aw thank you! This one is special to me also. Thanks for reading and for the kind review. I do appreciate you! ( I loved your poem!! omgoodness...I was actually thinking about it still this morning) Yes, I believe in ways are writings are similiar..or maybe we just both love making words breathe life ;-) Anyways thanks for stopping by! :-)
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Words are my forte, or shall I say, 'our forte' and I so enjoy yours. A great person, a great writer. Looking forward to the next work.
Best wishes
Comment from Nanny 6
Your poem gives much hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel of grief, that blue skies do come back and that God erases the pain. Beautiful poem...very well written with good rhyme and rhythm. Good luck in the contest.
Judy
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
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Your poem gives much hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel of grief, that blue skies do come back and that God erases the pain. Beautiful poem...very well written with good rhyme and rhythm. Good luck in the contest.
Judy
Comment Written 21-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
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Hello Judy! Thank you so much for leaving me this wonderful review! I do appreciate it!
Comment from l.raven
so very true...just reach up into the heavens and God will answer our prayers...when you are in the darkest times in your life...trust Him...I know I do...I love your poem...so very well written...and love this picture...love Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
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so very true...just reach up into the heavens and God will answer our prayers...when you are in the darkest times in your life...trust Him...I know I do...I love your poem...so very well written...and love this picture...love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 21-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
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Linda! Thank you so much! You totally got my meaning. :-)
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HI Susan, you are so welcome my sweet friend...smiling back at you...love you...Linda xxoo
Comment from zanya
Yes this poem has a lovely uplifting tenor - first of all reminding the reader how low our spirits may sink'Completely lost/will broken'- yet hope and love prevail- really nice pic
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
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Yes this poem has a lovely uplifting tenor - first of all reminding the reader how low our spirits may sink'Completely lost/will broken'- yet hope and love prevail- really nice pic
Comment Written 21-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
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Hello!! Thank you for reading and leaving me such a kind review! I do appreciated that!
Comment from Richard J
I can honestly say, Susan,
If I was feeling down before reading this, all dark skies have now turned bright and sunny, colorful birds all singing in harmony a sweet song for my grateful heart to dance.
Such a lovely picture, and your soft, soothing colors set the mood for seamlessly flowing lines of spot-on poetic imagery and rhyme ... and, of course, I love the form. ; )
You should do well in the contest with this beaut, Susan ... the best of luck, our dear fine poetess! ~ Richard : )
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
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I can honestly say, Susan,
If I was feeling down before reading this, all dark skies have now turned bright and sunny, colorful birds all singing in harmony a sweet song for my grateful heart to dance.
Such a lovely picture, and your soft, soothing colors set the mood for seamlessly flowing lines of spot-on poetic imagery and rhyme ... and, of course, I love the form. ; )
You should do well in the contest with this beaut, Susan ... the best of luck, our dear fine poetess! ~ Richard : )
Comment Written 21-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
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:-) Richard, as you know..I love your the poetric forms you have created. Holy cow! I use them all the time. :-)
Thanks for the terrific review. You always make me smile. 6 stars? awww
Comment from Dean Kuch
Outstanding, Anonymous Poet.
This has an exceptionally bouncy rhythm and flow to it, especially when read aloud.
Impeccable rhyming help to move this along at a nice fast pace.
All of this simply leads to the overall upbeat "feel" of the overall poem itself.
Good luck to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
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Outstanding, Anonymous Poet.
This has an exceptionally bouncy rhythm and flow to it, especially when read aloud.
Impeccable rhyming help to move this along at a nice fast pace.
All of this simply leads to the overall upbeat "feel" of the overall poem itself.
Good luck to you in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
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DEANO!!!!!! Thank you for reading and reviewing!!! I was so happy to see your name!! ((( hugs)))) I missed you! I am so happy you're back. ((( more hugs))) Anyways, thanks for this smile-making review!! Did you say "outstanding?" well, that just did me in!..it's like getting an A+++++ from the teacher kinda feeling! :-)
Comment from CadenAaron
This was a spectacular entry to the competition. Your diction and imagery was on point, and you told a full story complete with rising action and a resolution. This was a strong poem on the power of prayer and faith, but it wasn't "overdone" like I've seen in a lot of religious poetry. Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
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This was a spectacular entry to the competition. Your diction and imagery was on point, and you told a full story complete with rising action and a resolution. This was a strong poem on the power of prayer and faith, but it wasn't "overdone" like I've seen in a lot of religious poetry. Well done.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
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AHH so ya picked up on my subtle attempt at a spiritual aspect.Spiritual poetry is beautiful, but nobody likes to be told what to do. In my opinion the most affective spiritual poetry comes from showing what is possible.No judgments.Just my thoughts. But thank you for this awesome review! I do appreciate it!! :-)