The Way of Life
History is written by they who conquer.5 total reviews
Comment from meeshu
This is a pleasure to read. Your writing is strong and the language is powerful. Very well penned, Mysterious Contest Writer (not Moonwillow) it reads as a Biblical Legend..
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2018
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This is a pleasure to read. Your writing is strong and the language is powerful. Very well penned, Mysterious Contest Writer (not Moonwillow) it reads as a Biblical Legend..
Comment Written 20-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2018
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Thank you meeshu. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment from giraffmang
I liked your story here, although I don't think the moral fully fits. It feels out of kilter with most moralistic tales. It's a variation on turn the other check but it's not one I think would inspire a lot of folk.
It's well-written though.
They steal her life as the dig her ground - as they dig.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2018
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I liked your story here, although I don't think the moral fully fits. It feels out of kilter with most moralistic tales. It's a variation on turn the other check but it's not one I think would inspire a lot of folk.
It's well-written though.
They steal her life as the dig her ground - as they dig.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2018
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Thank you giraffmang. I wrote this the day of the contest just trying to see if I could do it. It needs more work. Thank you for your comments.
Comment from Lady Jane
She first threw a blanket of snow, bear-high, that (left) the demons trembl(ing) in their teepees.
The people of the forest argued to let them die, but then the Chief Wolf spoke that we had much to share with those of lesser birth. - edit suggestion
The people of the forest argued to let them die, but the Chief Wolf spoke declaring we had much to share with those of lesser birth - just a suggestion :)
They steal her life as (they) dig (the) ground and pollute her rivers. - edit suggestion
We(,) the people of the forest(,) eat what is left, for they conquered our land.
What a powerfully written modern family entry, writer. I found just a few suggestions, but they are just that, suggestions...not required revisions except for the word 'they' above...it was missing a 'y'
other than that, clean, concise writing with fluid pace and profound content. Nothing to dislike or detract a star for. This just may find its place on the top of the fable pile, dear :)
Janelle
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2018
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She first threw a blanket of snow, bear-high, that (left) the demons trembl(ing) in their teepees.
The people of the forest argued to let them die, but then the Chief Wolf spoke that we had much to share with those of lesser birth. - edit suggestion
The people of the forest argued to let them die, but the Chief Wolf spoke declaring we had much to share with those of lesser birth - just a suggestion :)
They steal her life as (they) dig (the) ground and pollute her rivers. - edit suggestion
We(,) the people of the forest(,) eat what is left, for they conquered our land.
What a powerfully written modern family entry, writer. I found just a few suggestions, but they are just that, suggestions...not required revisions except for the word 'they' above...it was missing a 'y'
other than that, clean, concise writing with fluid pace and profound content. Nothing to dislike or detract a star for. This just may find its place on the top of the fable pile, dear :)
Janelle
Comment Written 19-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2018
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Thank you JaCherie. I corrected the (they) the fable needs more work. Thank you for your comments. :)
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good luck :)
Comment from Honey Bee Jean
Did your grandfather really tell you that story? I like the imagery you used for mother nature and her fury. The imagery overall was pretty well represented. Thank you for the share!
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2018
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Did your grandfather really tell you that story? I like the imagery you used for mother nature and her fury. The imagery overall was pretty well represented. Thank you for the share!
Comment Written 19-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2018
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Thank you Melissa. I am sorry for my error. I corrected and made it into a fable. I just wrote this today to see if I could do it. I did it but it needed corrections. It reads better now.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
A beautiful 'fable ' that sounds like the Native American legends told around campfires late at night...very well done and a great entry for the contest! :) Thank you for sharing! :)
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2018
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A beautiful 'fable ' that sounds like the Native American legends told around campfires late at night...very well done and a great entry for the contest! :) Thank you for sharing! :)
Comment Written 19-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2018
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Thank you Yvette. I know I messed up and you were to kind to let me have it. My fable was not a fable but it is now. I corrected it and it reads better.
