Hallway People
Not considered part of a class.21 total reviews
Comment from DonandVicki
Your poem you said the rhyming was accidental but I would have to disagree, you seem to have constructed this with a lot of meaning. Well composed and a joy to read.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2018
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Your poem you said the rhyming was accidental but I would have to disagree, you seem to have constructed this with a lot of meaning. Well composed and a joy to read.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2018
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Yea, I was being funny because if I just put it out there would have been downgraded for what would be called forced rhyme. I enjoyed this review and thank you for it.
Comment from LIJ Red
One author quipped that "everything is poetry except a few classbooks and grocery lists." I disagree, but that's just me. I saw some lines that didn't slide as smooth as I'd try for, like the one ending in ass...still and all, a clear and thoughtful poem. Excellent post.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2018
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One author quipped that "everything is poetry except a few classbooks and grocery lists." I disagree, but that's just me. I saw some lines that didn't slide as smooth as I'd try for, like the one ending in ass...still and all, a clear and thoughtful poem. Excellent post.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2018
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I thank you very much for your review and appreciate the compliments.
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Any rhyming is strictly accidental! LOL I enjoy this style of poetry as worrying about rhyming isn't so hard and fast and to me keeps the poem from being boring. ' I completely agree! I rhyme only if it feels natural. I enjoyed every moment of this bouncy poem it also raised some pertinent issues. Well done kindest regards Meia x
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2018
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Any rhyming is strictly accidental! LOL I enjoy this style of poetry as worrying about rhyming isn't so hard and fast and to me keeps the poem from being boring. ' I completely agree! I rhyme only if it feels natural. I enjoyed every moment of this bouncy poem it also raised some pertinent issues. Well done kindest regards Meia x
Comment Written 14-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2018
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I enjoyed this review and thank you for it. There are times when I will work on a poem until it rhymes, but when I do that, it has to hold the original meaning that I wanted to convey.
Comment from Air Spirit
A very interesting and personalized poem, reflecting back on childhood/young adulthood and how most of us felt as if we didn't fit in.. various reasons, moods, seasons or experiences can lend a hand in shaping our perceptions and our experiences with others.. and we never may ever realize how a simple smile, listening to someone or offering a hand can have a 'ripple effect' that may extend and leave a lasting imprint on our souls..
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2018
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A very interesting and personalized poem, reflecting back on childhood/young adulthood and how most of us felt as if we didn't fit in.. various reasons, moods, seasons or experiences can lend a hand in shaping our perceptions and our experiences with others.. and we never may ever realize how a simple smile, listening to someone or offering a hand can have a 'ripple effect' that may extend and leave a lasting imprint on our souls..
Comment Written 14-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2018
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I appreciate this very thoughtful review and thank you for it.
Comment from Kay Seed
I like the sentiment in this poem. Being a hallway person to me means being friendly to everyone no matter what "group" they belong to. It sounds like you made an impact on people and didn't realize it.
-Kay
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2018
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I like the sentiment in this poem. Being a hallway person to me means being friendly to everyone no matter what "group" they belong to. It sounds like you made an impact on people and didn't realize it.
-Kay
Comment Written 14-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2018
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I did and I did a biographical work and during the writing realized that. I thank you for your compliments and this review.
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello Mike, this is an interesting poem and your use of the 'hallway' is very effective. I really found this original and insightful and you are to be commended on your poetry. I like that you aren't worrying about rhyming, etc. Some people's attention to these things squash the life out of a work and make it forced, turgid and boring, as you say in your author notes, lol.
Good writing and thanks for sharing it, Anastasia.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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Hello Mike, this is an interesting poem and your use of the 'hallway' is very effective. I really found this original and insightful and you are to be commended on your poetry. I like that you aren't worrying about rhyming, etc. Some people's attention to these things squash the life out of a work and make it forced, turgid and boring, as you say in your author notes, lol.
Good writing and thanks for sharing it, Anastasia.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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I thank you very much for your review and appreciate it greatly. In a sense I wanted it to be a bit turgid in the beginning, but not enough to be a distraction as I wanted to imbue that sense of tension. I also wanted to show an emotional contrast and lightening regarding my writing in the hallway people.
Comment from Earl Corp
Im not a free verse fan, I prefer rhyming poems. I do like oeoms that make sense, which yours did. A couple questions, did you mean pecking order Shouldn't it be hit with A traumatic event.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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Im not a free verse fan, I prefer rhyming poems. I do like oeoms that make sense, which yours did. A couple questions, did you mean pecking order Shouldn't it be hit with A traumatic event.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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I did put the A in front of traumatic. But while I definitely mean pecking order, I wanted to give the sense that some people enjoyed being peckers themselves. I sort of invented that word and worked it in to my political commentary as I often have some pretty intense faceoffs with the activist types. Use of the word, "pecker order," creates a wonderful moment of hilarity while still making a point. I thank you very much for this review and your suggestions.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We often don't realise how close we were to our classmates as we spend each day with them and I am glad that you have rekindled some of those friendships now you are older, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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We often don't realise how close we were to our classmates as we spend each day with them and I am glad that you have rekindled some of those friendships now you are older, love Dolly x
Comment Written 14-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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I thank you very much for you compliments, review and comments. For me it has been so very interesting and quite a journey, In a sense I was a photograph and always observing and in 2007 took up poetry which also gave me an ability to share them as well.
Comment from Lady Jane
Not every classmate feel(s) like they fit in,
(being) just too smart(,) or talented for their own good.
somehow become(s) a joy and a comfort
Every day bouncing through the hall(,) a gal with red hair
I wanted to be part of a class and realize I'm hallway(,) too
Nice writing, Mike. I just made some edit suggestions, nothing worth detracting a star for. Hallway people, I like it. I love how it spans the decades and the realm of various personalities, person, per say. Your writing is shared from a personal POV that was insightful and relatable. The writing was fresh and unique. I wish you all the best in future writing and thank you for sharing this with us on FS.
Janelle
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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Not every classmate feel(s) like they fit in,
(being) just too smart(,) or talented for their own good.
somehow become(s) a joy and a comfort
Every day bouncing through the hall(,) a gal with red hair
I wanted to be part of a class and realize I'm hallway(,) too
Nice writing, Mike. I just made some edit suggestions, nothing worth detracting a star for. Hallway people, I like it. I love how it spans the decades and the realm of various personalities, person, per say. Your writing is shared from a personal POV that was insightful and relatable. The writing was fresh and unique. I wish you all the best in future writing and thank you for sharing this with us on FS.
Janelle
Comment Written 14-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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Wow! I really appreciate the review and thank you for it. I did make most of the changes except for the last suggested correction. In a sense it as almost too personal and took quite a lot of thinking to get the poem to work like I wanted it to. Many of my writings are like bats in a cave and love taking flight at the right time.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
You have shared a nice experience you had in your school days that you were ill-treated by some senior students who belong to senior and other group, it was never unjustified; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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You have shared a nice experience you had in your school days that you were ill-treated by some senior students who belong to senior and other group, it was never unjustified; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2018
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Thank you very much for this review as it is much appreciated. I had my bad experiences, but by far not along, which came as a shock to me. Then I started thinking about the good ones and what was behind them. Since then I have learned not to put too much weight regarding bad experiences and was amazed how one's perception of life improves.
