Not Sure Yet
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Salt Lake City"Free verse poems
24 total reviews
Comment from Gloria ....
A superb free verse, Carol. Right off with the midriff-skimming wife beater tank top you drew me into the scene.
It is strange how are people are afraid to look, because they know if they do they might be asked to give something.
Yes and your reaction is one of such humanity. All he wanted was someone to accept his existence.
I am really loving your free verse, Carol. You excel with the form.
Gloria
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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A superb free verse, Carol. Right off with the midriff-skimming wife beater tank top you drew me into the scene.
It is strange how are people are afraid to look, because they know if they do they might be asked to give something.
Yes and your reaction is one of such humanity. All he wanted was someone to accept his existence.
I am really loving your free verse, Carol. You excel with the form.
Gloria
Comment Written 11-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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I can't believe you are the only one to mention the tank top! He really was so bizarre and I have NO IDEA what he was doing on campus! It's not close to the downtown area.
Thank you so much, Gloria :))
Carol
Comment from Mark Valentine
And I , without a six. I've never been to Salt Lake City. Other cities have their homeless districts also, but I imagine the contrast might be more stark in Salt Lake City which I always picture as a shiny Mormon city on a hill, The gulf between two worlds is beautifully depicted here and paves the way for the kiss-on-the-hand gratitude shown you for daring to bridge the gap between those two worlds and allowing for the possibility that there might be a shared humanity between you and he.
The last two lines are awesome and capture how many of us feel - we step out of our comfort zone for a moment, but tend to return.
The humanity in this one is a s good as the writing.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2018
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And I , without a six. I've never been to Salt Lake City. Other cities have their homeless districts also, but I imagine the contrast might be more stark in Salt Lake City which I always picture as a shiny Mormon city on a hill, The gulf between two worlds is beautifully depicted here and paves the way for the kiss-on-the-hand gratitude shown you for daring to bridge the gap between those two worlds and allowing for the possibility that there might be a shared humanity between you and he.
The last two lines are awesome and capture how many of us feel - we step out of our comfort zone for a moment, but tend to return.
The humanity in this one is a s good as the writing.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2018
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You are so right, we step away from what is comfortable, but not for long. Thanks, Mark, your review is wonderful never mind the sixes!
Carol
Comment from Ulla
Hi Carol, isn't it just so sad. They fall through the security net that is not there anyway, and then what? Nothing.A lost generation. I loved your free style poem dealing with this sad situation. Warm regards. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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Hi Carol, isn't it just so sad. They fall through the security net that is not there anyway, and then what? Nothing.A lost generation. I loved your free style poem dealing with this sad situation. Warm regards. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 11-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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Some people don't have much of a security net. I'm lucky in that I've always had family around to help me - although I haven't needed it since I got out of my twenties, lol. You never know though, right? For some people, if they get hurt, they lose their job, and end up losing everything - so sad!
Thanks, Ulla :))
Carol
Comment from CD Richards
A very good piece of free verse, Carol. It's easy to look with condemnation or, possibly worse, indifference at those who are different. I'm not so much referring to those who behave badly, I don't have a lot of sympathy for that. Warmer hearts than mine might. But homeless people, the disenfranchised and down on their luck, what do we know of what life path brought them there? There, but for the grace of God, etc... (if one goes for that sort of thing). I like to entertain thoughts occasionally of someone like your new friend, a year or two down the track, being in some well-off circumstance, and in a position to have a say in the fortunes of the people who have not seen fit to show them kindness. I imagine that almost never happens, but wouldn't it be fun?
Excellent work once again.
Craig
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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A very good piece of free verse, Carol. It's easy to look with condemnation or, possibly worse, indifference at those who are different. I'm not so much referring to those who behave badly, I don't have a lot of sympathy for that. Warmer hearts than mine might. But homeless people, the disenfranchised and down on their luck, what do we know of what life path brought them there? There, but for the grace of God, etc... (if one goes for that sort of thing). I like to entertain thoughts occasionally of someone like your new friend, a year or two down the track, being in some well-off circumstance, and in a position to have a say in the fortunes of the people who have not seen fit to show them kindness. I imagine that almost never happens, but wouldn't it be fun?
Excellent work once again.
Craig
Comment Written 11-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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Thanks, Craig - I met that guy a long time ago, maybe 25-30 years ago. I imagine he's not alive anymore. Some people don't do well in a "normal" lifestyle I've heard, but I think every one of us is different, including some on the streets.
Speaking of behaving badly, there was one guy who used to hang around a gas station and he'd yell and swear at people who didn't give him money. I assume they called the police. He'd already been banned from the Starbucks and drugstore down the road.
Carol
Comment from mackenzietastan
This was a poignant poem about how hard we try to ignore the suffering we see everyday. As long as they stay away from our doorsteps, we pretend they don't exist right down the street. Thanks for writing this.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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This was a poignant poem about how hard we try to ignore the suffering we see everyday. As long as they stay away from our doorsteps, we pretend they don't exist right down the street. Thanks for writing this.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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I worked downtown that summer as a student intern, and I'd walk home a lot of the time - saw tons of homeless hanging around. Some of them seemed truly crazy, and others just really, really down on their luck...
Thank you for reading my poem :))
Carol
Comment from Joan E.
I am sorry to hear that Salt Lake City has a homeless problem, the way big city's like Los Angeles have. You capture poignant moments in this free verse--"I cannot imagine" what the future holds for our homeless population. Sighs- Joan
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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I am sorry to hear that Salt Lake City has a homeless problem, the way big city's like Los Angeles have. You capture poignant moments in this free verse--"I cannot imagine" what the future holds for our homeless population. Sighs- Joan
Comment Written 11-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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I don't know why it's surprising to hear this about Salt Lake, but it is! It's such a clean city, in so many ways. But like all things (or most anyway) there's a darker side.
A friend of mine accidentally picked up a prostitute early one snowy morning. It was 4 AM, freezing outside and he thought she was in trouble. She got out of the car when it turned out he was not a potential "client" - kind of funny. He was a kind hearted guy, my friend (RIP).
Carol
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Thanks for adding another anecdote. I think most of us view Salt Lake as a solid city and forget there can be a darker side. More sighs- Joan
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi Carol. Your well written piece doesn't suggest an author's POV. I see two possibilities. One is addiction itself and the other is social commentary.
Those familiar with addiction are aware that no tabernacle, no person, or program can save an addict from him/herself. Recovery must come from the desire of the addict to save self. When one has "hit bottom" if ever, he/she will seek the help needed. Until then he/she will continue to the death. Living zombies enslaved by addiction.
Switching gears--this may be strictly an observational piece, a social commentary on human degradation and that of our cities--places of filth and heartbreak. San Francisco is another example of enabling addiction and those are just two cities who have grown complacent in acceptance. There are many more.
Marilyn
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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Hi Carol. Your well written piece doesn't suggest an author's POV. I see two possibilities. One is addiction itself and the other is social commentary.
Those familiar with addiction are aware that no tabernacle, no person, or program can save an addict from him/herself. Recovery must come from the desire of the addict to save self. When one has "hit bottom" if ever, he/she will seek the help needed. Until then he/she will continue to the death. Living zombies enslaved by addiction.
Switching gears--this may be strictly an observational piece, a social commentary on human degradation and that of our cities--places of filth and heartbreak. San Francisco is another example of enabling addiction and those are just two cities who have grown complacent in acceptance. There are many more.
Marilyn
Comment Written 10-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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Honestly, when I wrote this it was more the second - just an observation on humanity and how we internally deal with seeing people so much less fortunate. But I like that you were able to see two ways of looking at this poem. I even asked myself, why did I write this and I guess it was because I remember those guys I talked about, even though it was almost 30 years ago when all this happened. It felt significant...
Carol
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That's interesting. Same thing happened to me the other day. I wrote a poem and someone asked something similar. Got me to thinking of the dual message.
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello Friend,
What a powerful, poignant, and moving free verse poem. Told with straightforward realism. Few know of the homeless population of Salt Lake City, but few know of the homeless population of my beautiful northern Michigan resort town as well. The homeless are the invisible to so many... The offering of his hand to you, the writer, and his whispered, "Thank you," speaks volumes...
Thank you for sharing!
diane
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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Hello Friend,
What a powerful, poignant, and moving free verse poem. Told with straightforward realism. Few know of the homeless population of Salt Lake City, but few know of the homeless population of my beautiful northern Michigan resort town as well. The homeless are the invisible to so many... The offering of his hand to you, the writer, and his whispered, "Thank you," speaks volumes...
Thank you for sharing!
diane
Comment Written 10-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
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Hi, thank you so much for this great review. I don't know what the homeless do in the cold winters in either place - California I can understand because it's so much warmer. I really feel for them.
Thanks again :))
Carol
Comment from Pantygynt
As I understand it Salt Lake City is the capital of Utah and the headquarters of the mormon church of the latter day saints. Is the tabernacle to which you refer part of their set up? If it is, you could be forgiven for thinking that a heavily proselytizing outfit like the mormons might be concerned to do something for the masses of homeless on its doorstep.
Your generous gesture was gratefully received on this occasions. Many of these people do not deserve the reputation with which they have been tarred. But equally there are those who do. The difficulty is to tell the difference.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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As I understand it Salt Lake City is the capital of Utah and the headquarters of the mormon church of the latter day saints. Is the tabernacle to which you refer part of their set up? If it is, you could be forgiven for thinking that a heavily proselytizing outfit like the mormons might be concerned to do something for the masses of homeless on its doorstep.
Your generous gesture was gratefully received on this occasions. Many of these people do not deserve the reputation with which they have been tarred. But equally there are those who do. The difficulty is to tell the difference.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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Yes, the tabernacle is the center of all the joy that is the LDS Church. When I lived there, we heard a rumor one year that the city was bussing all the homeless people down to Las Vegas. More recently, the mayor spent three days on the streets to see how the services were - very interesting! Brave guy - he said he was afraid the whole time.
I agree with you re. the homeless. So often we pass by as if they aren't there, or when they seem really crazy, you don't want to engage their attention. But you know - things can go south in a hurry if you get hurt, lose your job, lose your residence, etc.
Anyway, I've never forgotten that guy! He was sweet.
Carol
Comment from RodG
I have spent time in Salt Lake City and have noticed how diverse the population can be even around the Temple. I like how you allow your camera to pick out people and then come in for a close-up in stanza three. The man's words to the Speaker seem almost prophetic. Rod
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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I have spent time in Salt Lake City and have noticed how diverse the population can be even around the Temple. I like how you allow your camera to pick out people and then come in for a close-up in stanza three. The man's words to the Speaker seem almost prophetic. Rod
Comment Written 10-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2018
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Salt Lake is an interesting place, I lived there for a long time and miss it. It has the best skiing in the world!! Lol, I used to love skiing. I read that the current mayor is working hard to improve services for the homeless. the Church has many charitable services, maybe that attracts homeless folks.
Carol