Comment from Shirley E Kennedy

Excellent

Hi Roxanna,
You have done really well.
I couldn't find any glaring mistakes and the chapter flowed with ease and clarity.
Keep going--you can finish this book.
Blessings
Shirley

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018

Thank you so much Shirley.

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

I could never read my work that many times. haha I know it feels like it though. Editing is the worst while writing is fun.
I didn't see any thing to correct, but I would add some dialogue in the first half. It needs more than just telling to perk it up a bit.

:) ellen

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018

Thank you Ellen. I'll have another look at it. =}

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

Their [presents] would be missed, [presence]
We cannot let them get {passed} us. [past]
The [absents] of conju[n]ctions is on purpose as in this day
[absence]
I found a few spags while reading the chapter Roxy. Yes we can get sick and tired of reading our work over and over. LOL Interesting chapter. :)Nancy

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018

Thank you dear. I think I made all the corrections. =} Rox

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

I'm so pleased you posted another chapter, I love this story. At least they all know where Hamish is, and realise they are in for trouble as Hamish would have told everyone the Wahaland's plans. Let's hope our boys win the fight, it's going to be hard.
Only one thing I stumbled on, and that was the word 'led'. Unless it's a Wahaland word, I wonder if it should be, 'lead' both for the leader and for the horses (lead, or, reins) : ... Drake handed the white stallion off to the led (lead) rider.

Well done, my friend, I hope you don't keep us waiting too long for the next part, it's so exciting! :) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2018

Yes, I knew 'led' wasn't right and then I used it 4x. ={ Thank so much dear for the helps and the great review. Rox =}

reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 05-Oct-2018

I've done that, lol. :))

Comment from Sally Law

Excellent

Will you please quit. This is excellent as always Rox! I love this mystical story with all of it's spiritual undertones. You did a fine job. Only one critique or quick edit: Hide nor hair is the correct phrase. You left off the 'n'. Nor will fit better into this setting and period. The picture of the horse galloping through the snow was a good choice.
All my best,
Sally

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2018

Thank you Sally, you are too kind. Yes it is 'nor' I don't know if I meant to put that or if I forgot that's what the saying is. Thank you for the help and the great review. Rox =}

reply by Sally Law on 05-Oct-2018

You?re welcome! I love reviewing your work. It?s always a pleasure. Since I am blind, I miss many little things. I have to proof constantly, then turn it over to my sighted help. I understand completely! Sal

reply by the author on 07-Oct-2018

I didn't know you were blind. You are amazing. I can see, kind of and still never see my mistakes. My brain just put in the right word every time. I use a grammer program now which has helped a lot, but still misses some. Thank you Sally. Rox

reply by Sally Law on 07-Oct-2018

I am not completely blind yet. My doctor said I have a rare case of retinitis pigmentosa. There is a chance I will retain some central vision. Right now, it?s like freak vision. I see through small pie/pin size holes corrected with glasses. I use an IPad Pro and voice text to write. My husband and best girlfriend are my copy editors. I write weekly articles for a Christian eschatology website, as well, so I stay busy with writing.

Comment from Loredana

Excellent

It's the first time I read one of your chapters or excerpts, but it doesn't feel like you are missing anything...besides the conjunctions, but you have explained why you are not using them. Your sentence structure reminds me of Lee Child's.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2018

Thank you so much. You honor me. Have a great day. Rox

Comment from royowen

Excellent

So they know that Hamish is with his long lost brother Lucas. But they probably know the power of Lucas combined with the allied help of Hamish, so the battle plans are in the wind, well done, Rox, great episode, blessings, Roy
Typo : Titus threw him the le(a)d to Hamish's 2: but the (le(a)d) rider.3: Titus threw him the le(a)d 4: Drake removed the le(a)d

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2018

Thank you. I knew 'led' wasn't right, and then I use it 4x. ={ Thanks for the helps and the great review. =} Rox

reply by royowen on 05-Oct-2018

Don't worry e all do it