A Busy Mom's Unspoken Fear
In that moment, the world stops turning...15 total reviews
Comment from Sally Law
This is well done, but just too real! I was always keeping my kids close to me and instructed them to go to the restroom together. It's downright scary! The picture of Robert is so sweet. Is he yours? You did a great job with this fear described in 50 words.
All the best to you and yours,
Sally
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
  |
This is well done, but just too real! I was always keeping my kids close to me and instructed them to go to the restroom together. It's downright scary! The picture of Robert is so sweet. Is he yours? You did a great job with this fear described in 50 words.
All the best to you and yours,
Sally
Comment Written 03-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
-
Nah - not mine - they're all grown now. I did have all boys, and when they were in that "in-between age" when you really shouldn't bring them in the ladies room with you, I would stand sentinel at the men's room door and pretty much keep up a running dialogue from the cracked door just so I knew they were "un-bothered"...used to glare 'I will kill you looks' at guys that had to go in during our dialogues. Most were understanding...I didn't care if they weren't. :) :)
Thanx for the review, Sally! :) Yvette :)
-
Mine are grown too. Grandboys and girls. We all divide and conquer. I am blind so I need extra help these days.
Comment from F. Wehr3
Very nicely done. You captured that feeling of panic when she notices Robert gone and the fear and feeling up helplessness that continually builds. Congrats on your win.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
|
Very nicely done. You captured that feeling of panic when she notices Robert gone and the fear and feeling up helplessness that continually builds. Congrats on your win.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 03-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
-
Searching for a fearful subject (in only 50 words), I couldn't think of anything more scary than this situation. I'm glad you found the fear in this write, Russell, and I thank you for stopping in for the congrats, sir! :) :) Find some special time just for you this week -- you deserve it! :) :)
Comment from poesyapprentice
Had to give this a six. You took me on an emotional ride with this write from happy to frantic in 50 words. Great job! If I had to take a gander, I imagine it will be a hard entry to beat if there are mothers reading. The mom in your notes was a smart cookie, and this piece might just save a kid someday: Stranger things have happened. Thank you for promoting your entry. Best of luck!
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
 |
Had to give this a six. You took me on an emotional ride with this write from happy to frantic in 50 words. Great job! If I had to take a gander, I imagine it will be a hard entry to beat if there are mothers reading. The mom in your notes was a smart cookie, and this piece might just save a kid someday: Stranger things have happened. Thank you for promoting your entry. Best of luck!
Comment Written 02-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2018
-
Searching for a fearful subject (in only 50 words), and, as a mom, I couldn't think of anything more scary than this situation -- yikes!! I'm glad you found the fear in this write, poesyapprentice, and I thank you for those wonderful stars today - really put the smile on my face after a long day! :) :) Find some special time just for you this week -- you deserve it! :) :)
-
Congrats on the win. I had a feeling ; ) My pleasure on the sixer. Well worth it!
Comment from Dean Kuch
I can think of no more helpless feeling that would send chills up and down the spine of a parent than to have their child suddenly turn up missing.
Unless, of course, the parent in question had something to do with his or her child's disappearance.
Casey Anthony immediately comes to mind.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
|
I can think of no more helpless feeling that would send chills up and down the spine of a parent than to have their child suddenly turn up missing.
Unless, of course, the parent in question had something to do with his or her child's disappearance.
Casey Anthony immediately comes to mind.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
-
Searching for a fearful subject (in only 50 words), I couldn't think of anything more scary than this situation. I'm glad you found the fear in this write, Dean, and I thank you for stopping in for the quick read and review today! :) :) Find some special time just for you this week -- you deserve it! :) :)
-
You do the same, Yvette.
~Dean
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
You might want to recheck the word count here. I make it 51 as you haven't left a space after the ellipsis here -returned...to- so word counters count it as a single word, which it isn't.
tiptoed can be a single word.
All the best
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
 |
Hi there,
You might want to recheck the word count here. I make it 51 as you haven't left a space after the ellipsis here -returned...to- so word counters count it as a single word, which it isn't.
tiptoed can be a single word.
All the best
GMG
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
-
Thanx, G -- I re-copied back to MS Word and it still registers at exactly 50. I went ahead and removed the tiptoe hyphen just in case there were any questions. Have a wonderful day! :) Yvette
Comment from hari anand
This is a real fear, only a parent knows how it feels. I can feel the racing heart because i also had felt same thing for a few seconds few years back. Thank God my son came back running to me. Best of luck.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
|
This is a real fear, only a parent knows how it feels. I can feel the racing heart because i also had felt same thing for a few seconds few years back. Thank God my son came back running to me. Best of luck.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
-
Searching for a fearful subject (in only 50 words), I couldn't think of anything more scary than this situation. I'm glad you found the fear in this write, hargunanand, and I thank you for stopping in for the quick read and review today! :) :) Find some special time just for you this week -- you deserve it! :) :)
Comment from Bill Schott
This fifty-word flash fiction story, A Busy Mom's Unspoken Fear, demonstrates how fast kids can disappear in busy, confusing areas, when unattended. Scary.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
|
This fifty-word flash fiction story, A Busy Mom's Unspoken Fear, demonstrates how fast kids can disappear in busy, confusing areas, when unattended. Scary.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
-
Searching for a fearful subject (in only 50 words), I couldn't think of anything more scary than this situation. I'm glad you found the fear in this write, Bill, and I thank you for stopping in for the quick read and review today! :) :) Find some special time just for you this week -- you deserve it! :) :)
Comment from jenintorre
This is real fear in fact it is terror. I know that this has been known to happen. I think you have written an excellent entry for the competition. I wish you lots of luck. Jen.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
|
This is real fear in fact it is terror. I know that this has been known to happen. I think you have written an excellent entry for the competition. I wish you lots of luck. Jen.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
-
Searching for a fearful subject (in only 50 words), I couldn't think of anything more scary than this situation. I'm glad you found the fear in this write, Jen, and I thank you for stopping in for the quick read and review today! :) :) Find some special time just for you this week -- you deserve it! :) :)
Comment from Sugarray77
This is a great 50 word Flash entry!! Your handling of the fear factor was excellent. This reader could sense the abject terror of someone taking your child. I hope to read a second story of finding him only an aisle away. Good job!
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
|
This is a great 50 word Flash entry!! Your handling of the fear factor was excellent. This reader could sense the abject terror of someone taking your child. I hope to read a second story of finding him only an aisle away. Good job!
Comment Written 01-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
-
Searching for a fearful subject (in only 50 words), I couldn't think of anything more scary than this situation. I'm glad you found the fear in this write, Sugarray, and I thank you for stopping in for the quick read and review today! :) :) Find some special time just for you this week -- you deserve it! :) :)
Comment from Nanny 6
Yes... That would be terrifying for sure to go back to an empty shopping cart. Probably the most terrifying thing a mother could imagine. Good luck in the contest :-) Judy
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
|
Yes... That would be terrifying for sure to go back to an empty shopping cart. Probably the most terrifying thing a mother could imagine. Good luck in the contest :-) Judy
Comment Written 01-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2018
-
Searching for a fearful subject (in only 50 words), I couldn't think of anything more scary than this situation. I'm glad you found the fear in this write, Judy, and I thank you for stopping in for the quick read and review today! :) :) Find some special time just for you this week -- you deserve it! :) :)
