Comment from meeshu

Excellent

very well written, Ricky. a great adventure for the reader as it reads very much like an Ode (or three). I enjoyed it very much................meeshu

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2018

Thanks for your time and consideration reviewing this.
Doctor Ricky 1024

Comment from karenina

Excellent

I understand. There is an ocean of grief in every saltine tear you have cried over the untimely and senseless loss of your beloved son! There is no rhyme or reason to losing a child...ever. YOU, however, made the conscious decision to harvest from his death organs that would give new life to others...and so in this way you have truly memorialized Jason's generosity in life and for life.

Karenina

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2018

Thanks karenina and gladed you enjoyed this.
Ricky

reply by karenina on 27-Sep-2018

I did....you are welcome!

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Ricky I have always equated the Sea with God...when you obey its beneficent gifts are many. But the Sea though beautiful has rules to follow. Your beloved son can float in God's arms..God bless..beautiful thoughts and picture...love the Sea

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018

Thanks kiwi and glad you enjoyed it and have a great day.
Ricky...

Comment from bichonfrisegirl

Excellent

Hi Ricky,

I love all things ocean/sea/lake/pool, and can relate to your love of the sea. There are many touching and clever lines to this write. "the touch of your Sands", "and the way your wonderful waves would wash over me" ... loved these lines. You've personified the sea, and as the reader reads further the Clues make it apparent that it is grief that is being felt by the writer and conveyed to the reader. You love the sea and you loved your son (and of course, still do).

"Deep, deep, blue" ... one feels a blue (sadness) that is as deep as the deepest sea when faced with a loss such as yours, Ricky. Your write evokes empathy. The reader feels your heavy heart.

Cheers,
Connie

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018

Thanks so much Connie my new friend!
Doctor Ricky 1024

Comment from Y. M. Roger

Excellent

Your poem of the sea is a wonderful write...you should let the reader enjoy it for what it is: beautiful prose! I don't think you need to include all of the extra "clues" and such as part of your posted poem -- you could include them in the author notes, but let the reader get out of it what they will. You have some great imagery lines in here, like:

"From the that feeling from Thee and my feet in your hot Sands!"

I just think you detract from the reader's experience with your notes. Your work will always carry that tinge of sorrow and loss and a reader will learn that as they appreciate more and more of your writes, but you should consider not trying to direct any appreciation...let it flow from the reader's enjoyment of your prose itself.
This is all, of course, COMPLETE suggestion so, please feel free to totally disregard! :) :) :) As always, I thank you for sharing -- a great ocean-view to start the day!! :) :) Yvette :)

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018

Good points.
The Clue Deal was to add depth for the finale which is in the Editor's Notes.
Thanks,
Doctor Ricky 1024

Comment from Pamusart

Excellent

Hi Rickie. This is a poignant write. I am pretty sure it is about your son, Jason. You use that color Azure a lot. That is a dark blue, isn't it? Nah kind of sea color. Thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2018

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reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018

Not sure of the Hue of Azure but it sounds good!
Thanks,
Ricky....