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Short Stories and Flash

Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Man Lost "
Misc Fiction

12 total reviews 
Comment from poesyapprentice
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Opening sentence-- what a way to start a piece! Quite poetic. And the ending statement is excellent as well. Love it. Hell, the whole thing is really good! Imagery and emotion are very strong. I haven't read the other entries, but I've no doubt you deserved the win on this. Worthy read. Congrats!!

 Comment Written 29-Sep-2018

Comment from Loredana
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You did a great job at putting those words together and still make sense. I really enjoyed your story and the humor you gave to a situation otherwise dire. Scary, however, how that island just popped out of nowhere.

 Comment Written 29-Sep-2018

Comment from phill doran
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Hello Anon
I like this. Very creative - the 'creative' use of the word 'breakfast' in the opening (given that the character isn't really in the position for the writer to shoe-horn the word in conventionally), is smart.
There's something of a forward story too: that the ordeal changes the character's perceptions.
This is good and I hope you do well with it. I wish you the best with your future writing too.
cheers
phill

 Comment Written 27-Sep-2018

Comment from Janet Foor
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A clever and creative story for the contest using specific words to tell the tale.
I think you accomplished the task beautifully.

Well done.
Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2018

Comment from Marie Werner
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A perfect little tale. I love the conclusion - written well and I can picture it in my eye, even before the photo appears.

Thanks for posting and good luck on the contest!

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2018

Comment from Kelly Hanna
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This man is lost and now will begin a new life with what he would've once considered primitive. I just could feel the despair as he drifted. Then the numbness when he seen the canoe. Well written.

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2018

Comment from mackenzietastan
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This is a good story. It was almost lyrical enough to be a poem. I felt empathy for the sailor when he said he wasn't brave enough to drown himself. Most of us wouldn't be.

 Comment Written 26-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018
    I appreciate you noticing the poetic bent, I was going for that. Thanks so much. :))
Comment from kathleenspalding
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Aha! That situation certainly does give one appreciation for the non-techs of the world! Very well written. Great choice of artwork. I didn't see anything that needed to be corrected. But if you want to mess with it, 'I'm lost at sea'. is a bit redundant to 'I'm no master of the sea.'

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2018
    Ahh. Good tip. I tweaked it a bit. Thanks for catching that, I like it better now. :))
reply by kathleenspalding on 25-Sep-2018
    Cool! You're welcome :-)
Comment from Y. M. Roger
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An intriguing write that definitely grabs the reader's attention and has them rooting for you! ;) Really love that parting line, too - awesome! ;) Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest! :)

 Comment Written 25-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018
    So glad you enjoyed, especially the end which was the key. Thanks so much. :))
Comment from bob cullen
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A superb entry. And told so well in so few words. You've created a lone character who describes his surrounds, shares his fear and finally accepts the reality of his situation. Very well written.

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 Comment Written 25-Sep-2018


reply by the author on 26-Sep-2018
    Great words to hear. Thanks so much. :))