FAMILY TIES.
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "8 - To - 4""ALL IN THE FAMILY."
2 total reviews
Comment from Kelly Grim
This is great I enjoyed the rhyme, including your title and the description line -- clever! Even the flow of this poem, short one and two syllable words, the hard consonant sounds, gives me the feel of repetitive mechanical labor! Well done!
  |
This is great I enjoyed the rhyme, including your title and the description line -- clever! Even the flow of this poem, short one and two syllable words, the hard consonant sounds, gives me the feel of repetitive mechanical labor! Well done!
Comment Written 13-Sep-2018
Comment from phill doran
Hello Anon
Very good. Comprehensive and in the right form - with rhymes too, which isn't easy.
I spent a few minutes rearranging the order of the first four lines, which can be applied in a variety of sequences and ABAB rhymes too: hours of fun (well, minutes then).
I have not seen this form before, but it clearly can be creatively used and I wish you well in the contest with this piece.
cheers
phill
|
Hello Anon
Very good. Comprehensive and in the right form - with rhymes too, which isn't easy.
I spent a few minutes rearranging the order of the first four lines, which can be applied in a variety of sequences and ABAB rhymes too: hours of fun (well, minutes then).
I have not seen this form before, but it clearly can be creatively used and I wish you well in the contest with this piece.
cheers
phill
Comment Written 13-Sep-2018