Derailed
My life had derailed.74 total reviews
Comment from jenintorre
This free verse poem is amazing. You told the traumatic story so well with such great style and technique. I loved it. I'm not sure about the Thomas the tank engine picture and guess that it would not have been your choice either. Blessings. Jen.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018
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This free verse poem is amazing. You told the traumatic story so well with such great style and technique. I loved it. I'm not sure about the Thomas the tank engine picture and guess that it would not have been your choice either. Blessings. Jen.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018
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Thank you, Jen, for your generous, six star review of my free verse and for complimenting its style and technique. I'm not sure about the Thomas engine either, but the newspaper pictures I had of the actual 1968 crash were too grainy and dark.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Derailed", is an extremely well-written and thought-provoking piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. You KEEP WRITING and I'll KEEP READING. I look forward to seeing your next post.
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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018
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"Derailed", is an extremely well-written and thought-provoking piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. You KEEP WRITING and I'll KEEP READING. I look forward to seeing your next post.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018
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Thank you, Duchess, for your delightful review of "Derailed." I appreciate it.
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Sis Cat, my pen-pushing friend. You're more than welcome.
Take care and God bless you,
the Duchess
Comment from Liz O'Neill
You have great allusions in this that many readers may have scramble to investigate the cues. Your onomatopoetic wail is wonderful. The way you repeatedly used it here. You also alluded to PTSD. I have that from my three-year-old trauma of a tree coming down on our house just as I was leading the way down cellar and the plaster came down on my head. We had to leave the circus when the cannon went off and I was wailing. I was so shamed for that, I might as well of gotten a whaling. Whether the reader got all of your historic references, you surely drew them in with the wailing. I want to read this aloud over and over. It is luscious.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018
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You have great allusions in this that many readers may have scramble to investigate the cues. Your onomatopoetic wail is wonderful. The way you repeatedly used it here. You also alluded to PTSD. I have that from my three-year-old trauma of a tree coming down on our house just as I was leading the way down cellar and the plaster came down on my head. We had to leave the circus when the cannon went off and I was wailing. I was so shamed for that, I might as well of gotten a whaling. Whether the reader got all of your historic references, you surely drew them in with the wailing. I want to read this aloud over and over. It is luscious.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018
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Oh, yes, Liz, thank you for your luscious, six star review and for pointing out your desire to read my poem aloud over and over again. I write by ear, so I recorded my poem on my iPhone before my evening stroll. For the next two and a half miles, I played my poem over and over again as I listened to my voice and tweaked the words. Thanks again for your observant review.
Comment from WildWithWords
A very profound piece which covers an immensely important period in your upbringing. Exactly a month after THE assassination, which would mean far more to you in the future than it did at the time. It was a tumultuous era, but it heralded that change was a comin'.
Even more so for your family though.
The wailing in the final stanza so symbolic of a nation's loss as well as a neighborhood's grief. Very telling writing.
Bill (WildWithWords)
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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018
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A very profound piece which covers an immensely important period in your upbringing. Exactly a month after THE assassination, which would mean far more to you in the future than it did at the time. It was a tumultuous era, but it heralded that change was a comin'.
Even more so for your family though.
The wailing in the final stanza so symbolic of a nation's loss as well as a neighborhood's grief. Very telling writing.
Bill (WildWithWords)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2018
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Thank you, Bill,for giving my poem its first review. I asked my older brother about the derailment, but he was so traumatized by the divorce happening at the same time that he did not remember the derailment. Thanks for pointing out the parallels to the nation's trauma.
