The Second Coming...Entry Denied
150 words35 total reviews
Comment from Wyon Stansfeld
Yes, this is sadly so accurate. I am sure that Jesus would fare much worse in the modern world. If he wasnt refused at a border he would be locked up in an asylum. Thank you for this thought provoking piece.
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Yes, this is sadly so accurate. I am sure that Jesus would fare much worse in the modern world. If he wasnt refused at a border he would be locked up in an asylum. Thank you for this thought provoking piece.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2023
Comment from Mabaker12
This deserved all the accolades it received. There are many Biblical references to Christ and many paintings show Him in different skin tones and eye color but His country of birth recognizes the fact He would have been darker-skinned and brown-eyed. Well done Mabaker12
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This deserved all the accolades it received. There are many Biblical references to Christ and many paintings show Him in different skin tones and eye color but His country of birth recognizes the fact He would have been darker-skinned and brown-eyed. Well done Mabaker12
Comment Written 20-May-2021
Comment from Aaron Milavec
Indeed this is a timely topic treated with insightly candor.
This got me to roaring in laughter:
"Right. We already have someone in the White House who said the same thing. Entry denied!"
Peace,
Aaron
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Indeed this is a timely topic treated with insightly candor.
This got me to roaring in laughter:
"Right. We already have someone in the White House who said the same thing. Entry denied!"
Peace,
Aaron
Comment Written 25-Aug-2020
Comment from Pickles McGuire
Interesting premise! might be the basis for a good novel or script. So many opportunities for story lines. I felt like your very first sentence was a bit run on, but didn't take away from the piece at all.
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Interesting premise! might be the basis for a good novel or script. So many opportunities for story lines. I felt like your very first sentence was a bit run on, but didn't take away from the piece at all.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2020
Comment from eva garcia-mayers
this is amazingly touching and so appropriate for today's political and sociological reality. We are so many times confronted with scenarios where our often espoused values would take hold, but we blind ourselves by media and political distortions and throw those opportunities down the drain.
I really feel the small details of the worker being tired, sluggish and sloppy hits on the reality that we are also bogged down by capitalism's ceaseless pull on our faculties, also hindering us from thinking of anything beyond basic rest.
ty for sharing!
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this is amazingly touching and so appropriate for today's political and sociological reality. We are so many times confronted with scenarios where our often espoused values would take hold, but we blind ourselves by media and political distortions and throw those opportunities down the drain.
I really feel the small details of the worker being tired, sluggish and sloppy hits on the reality that we are also bogged down by capitalism's ceaseless pull on our faculties, also hindering us from thinking of anything beyond basic rest.
ty for sharing!
Comment Written 24-Dec-2019
Comment from Donald O. Cassidy
A writer savvy about prophetic insight, and at once knowledgeable secular politics offers a story like this.
"Entry Denied" would clash with the Prosperity Gospel immediately.
Jesus would deny entry to religious like the White House.
Don
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A writer savvy about prophetic insight, and at once knowledgeable secular politics offers a story like this.
"Entry Denied" would clash with the Prosperity Gospel immediately.
Jesus would deny entry to religious like the White House.
Don
Comment Written 17-Sep-2019
Comment from Ma-Jali Mbali
I love this story! It is highly believable and very current. It's also well-written and you've managed to create a realistic character in the immigration officer, in very few words. I feel like I can see him clearly.
My one comment for improvement would be that Arabs don't wear turbans, they wear scarves, it is Sikhs who wear turbans but Sikhs come from India. If you'd specified that it was the opinion of the ignorant/biased immigration official then it would be fine but you haven't so it seems as though this is what you, as a writer, think, which comes across as a lack of research.
Overall though, I love the humour and irony in the story and the small detail above, doesn't take away from it being a job well done and a story which I enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing :-)
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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I love this story! It is highly believable and very current. It's also well-written and you've managed to create a realistic character in the immigration officer, in very few words. I feel like I can see him clearly.
My one comment for improvement would be that Arabs don't wear turbans, they wear scarves, it is Sikhs who wear turbans but Sikhs come from India. If you'd specified that it was the opinion of the ignorant/biased immigration official then it would be fine but you haven't so it seems as though this is what you, as a writer, think, which comes across as a lack of research.
Overall though, I love the humour and irony in the story and the small detail above, doesn't take away from it being a job well done and a story which I enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing :-)
Comment Written 16-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
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What is very heartening, is that you do have this knowledge, and actually know the religious association with different headgear. so many see skin color and jump to many conclusions--usually ill-informed.
Thanks for the review.
Comment from Honey Bee Jean
Well done! This peice absolutely deserves the recognition. The Second Coming...Entry Denied is a phenomenal title. Best of luck to you in all of your endeavors and happy writing! Be well!
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
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Well done! This peice absolutely deserves the recognition. The Second Coming...Entry Denied is a phenomenal title. Best of luck to you in all of your endeavors and happy writing! Be well!
Comment Written 22-Oct-2018
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2018
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You are so gracious``````````. Thank you/
Comment from Bill Schott
This was a great use of the flash fiction challenge. I see that you have won that challenge; congratulations. The idea that Jesus is on the restricted list is quite meaningful and sadly true.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2018
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This was a great use of the flash fiction challenge. I see that you have won that challenge; congratulations. The idea that Jesus is on the restricted list is quite meaningful and sadly true.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2018
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Yes, it is. Thanks for reading.
Comment from B. A.Montpelier
A simple story with an enormous profound final statement from Jesus. In today's world it looks as though He is being removed from all that matters. Awesome read.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2018
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A simple story with an enormous profound final statement from Jesus. In today's world it looks as though He is being removed from all that matters. Awesome read.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2018
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2018
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Even people who profess to be believers, have forgotten His teachings in the way they conduct their lives. Thanks for reading.
