Comment from Jacqueline O.

Excellent

Loved the simple idea of this, and the way you executed it with the repetition. It was short and sweet and quite heartfelt. My only suggestion for improvement is to watch your syllable count and stress placement- keeping these consistent will make for a much smoother read. Other than that, it's a great submission!

 Comment Written 22-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 22-Aug-2018

Thank you so much for taking time to read and review, I really appreciate it. :)

Comment from flylikeaneagle

Excellent

Mystery writer, such a fun, uplifting poem for children.
I can visualize the children having fun. Great repeats
and makes this easier to read or say when around children.
Hope you get this published. flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 22-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 22-Aug-2018

Thank you! I 'm glad you enjoyed it.

Comment from AprilViolet

Exceptional

Loved how this poem flowed. Could definitely be made into a song for children. Love the picture you choose as well! Excellent entry and best of luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 22-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 22-Aug-2018

Thank you for this great review.

Comment from Alexander Vasa

Excellent

Hi Anon, you have written a wonderful poem for your target audience, and children are discerning readers, it's quite difficult to write children's books and poetry.

Nothing to fix, and I have no suggestions for improvement, the vocabulary was simple enough and just a smattering of three syllable words, which get that bit trickier for little people, but lots of good two syllable vocab. And all the actions and settings are ones children can relate to: out walking, hand in hand, the sea, the town. I think this is very well written for kids, and having said that as an adult I enjoyed it too.
A strong five-star poem and thanks for sharing it, Ana.

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 22-Aug-2018

Thanks for reading, your comments do encourage me.

Comment from LeftHandedScribe

Excellent

What a lovely photo, and what wonderful images that so depict childhood. I'd change the "to" to "too" in the sentence "won't go to fast..." at the beginning.

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 22-Aug-2018

Thank you for pointing out that error, I'll change it right away. Thank you also for your kind words.

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

This reminded me of my childhood...we were freeer back then
Mum and dad let us go all day . We ran free
Well penned
Good luck with contest
God bless

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2018

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reply by the author on 22-Aug-2018

Thank you :)