Short Stories and Flash
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Secure Borders"Misc Fiction
2 total reviews
Comment from humpwhistle
Hmmm, that must be how a tennis ball feels--whacked over the net, back and forth. I can't say I feel particularly bad for this guy.
On the other hand, lot's of nice places to live in Mexico--cheap.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
  |
Hmmm, that must be how a tennis ball feels--whacked over the net, back and forth. I can't say I feel particularly bad for this guy.
On the other hand, lot's of nice places to live in Mexico--cheap.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 21-Aug-2018
Comment from tfawcus
It doesn't pay to be on the wrong side of the fence!
Just a couple of minor points.
ICE is probably a familiar acronym for Immigration and Customs Enforcement in the US, but I had to look it up. I wondered if it needed periods - I.C.E."
Does Tardis need the capital letter? [You had me thinking of Dr Who.]
Yeah, sure buddy. back [Back] the way ya came...
There's a nice balance between realism and humour in this. Good luck in the contest.
|
It doesn't pay to be on the wrong side of the fence!
Just a couple of minor points.
ICE is probably a familiar acronym for Immigration and Customs Enforcement in the US, but I had to look it up. I wondered if it needed periods - I.C.E."
Does Tardis need the capital letter? [You had me thinking of Dr Who.]
Yeah, sure buddy. back [Back] the way ya came...
There's a nice balance between realism and humour in this. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2018
