Miscellaneous stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "No way back"Fiction and non-fiction prose
13 total reviews
Comment from Mustang Patty
Yikes!
I've had this dream!
Poor Alex, he really isn't so astonishing to other folks, but I'm pretty sure he's completely astonished himself.
Great use of the allotted word count - good luck to you in the contest,
~patty~
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2018
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Yikes!
I've had this dream!
Poor Alex, he really isn't so astonishing to other folks, but I'm pretty sure he's completely astonished himself.
Great use of the allotted word count - good luck to you in the contest,
~patty~
Comment Written 23-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2018
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Hi Patty,
Please rest assured I have read, and truly appreciate your comments. And, as is always the case, I responded individually to them. Then, by simply pressing the wrong button, I irretrievably lost ten responses that had taken me half an hour or more to type (not for the first time). I don't have time to retype them all today, so you are now receiving a "canned" response, and for that I'm sorry.
Please know that I do appreciate your comments, very much. And, if you get time, perhaps drop Tom a note suggesting he remove the stupid "Next Page" button from the comments page, or at least auto-save the responses before opening a new page. Thanks :)
Comment from Teri7
Craig, You did a really good job on this dribble flash fiction story. It is amazing that it made so much sense with the 50 words. I enjoyed reading and reviewing, Best wishes in the contest. Teri
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2018
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Craig, You did a really good job on this dribble flash fiction story. It is amazing that it made so much sense with the 50 words. I enjoyed reading and reviewing, Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 22-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2018
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Thanks so much, Teri. I'm glad you enjoyed the little story. All the best, Craig
Comment from Bill Schott
This dribble, No Way Back, finds The Astonishing Alex has outdone himself. The Case of the Vanish-tonishing Alex will begin after this. Hope Alex deserved this fate.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2018
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This dribble, No Way Back, finds The Astonishing Alex has outdone himself. The Case of the Vanish-tonishing Alex will begin after this. Hope Alex deserved this fate.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2018
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Thanks again, Bill. I'm not sure about Alex. I'd like to be able to find out what he's really like, but all attempts to contact him have failed. Cheers, Craig
Comment from Debbie Pope
I love this. As you know, in the last Flash Fiction contest, I entered a spoof of America's Got Talent. This piece shows me what I should have done with my archer or Dancing Pig. You take a single moment of magic, build up to it beautifully. You create suspense and wonder.
This is well done. This is how you do Flash Fiction. I have taken note.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2018
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I love this. As you know, in the last Flash Fiction contest, I entered a spoof of America's Got Talent. This piece shows me what I should have done with my archer or Dancing Pig. You take a single moment of magic, build up to it beautifully. You create suspense and wonder.
This is well done. This is how you do Flash Fiction. I have taken note.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2018
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Thanks so much for the wonderful comments, Debbie; although I don't think there's any need to be critical of your AGT piece -- it was well done. Most grateful, Craig
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I wasn?t fishing for a compliment. I am all the time looking for a better way to do a piece. Not just editing, but a whole new fresh approach. I like the drama that you are able to create in your work.
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I didn't think you were fishing, I was just offering an opinion :)
Comment from --Turtle.
Super job with this short dribble contest. In a very short time, you established the scene of a magician who, I took it, was dabbling in more than magic to enrapture his crowd. Unfortunately, his dabbling has left him caught elsewhere.
When illusion meets reality, tragedy ensues.
Nice buildup, clean scene and implied results. Strong descriptive verbs and a lot of showing instead of telling.
Me babbling about the odd thing I thought: Not sure if you can break into two paragraphs. I know that adding the character return counts it in Fanstory wordcounter as a word, even though it shouldn't be counted as another word, I don't think.
I think I thought about you adding a character return before 'In the other place' because it would add emphasis to the split of view, changing orientation... from crowd to the lost entertainer.
That's not a big deal though. This was engaging, and I came away with a complete feel for the whole story. Nice job.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Super job with this short dribble contest. In a very short time, you established the scene of a magician who, I took it, was dabbling in more than magic to enrapture his crowd. Unfortunately, his dabbling has left him caught elsewhere.
When illusion meets reality, tragedy ensues.
Nice buildup, clean scene and implied results. Strong descriptive verbs and a lot of showing instead of telling.
Me babbling about the odd thing I thought: Not sure if you can break into two paragraphs. I know that adding the character return counts it in Fanstory wordcounter as a word, even though it shouldn't be counted as another word, I don't think.
I think I thought about you adding a character return before 'In the other place' because it would add emphasis to the split of view, changing orientation... from crowd to the lost entertainer.
That's not a big deal though. This was engaging, and I came away with a complete feel for the whole story. Nice job.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Hi Turtle,
Firstly thanks for the wonderful review. You totally got it, where I think a few people didn't really know what was going on. You know, I tossed up whether to put in a paragraph break there. After reading your comment, I've decided to go with it. You are the rocking-est reviewer here, I'm so glad you take time to read my stuff (and I'm sorry I can't nominate you again for a while).
With huge gratitude, Craig.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written dribble flash fiction of fifty words. When an act of a play doesn't work out as it was planned the only ones who get confused is the ones who know the script, the audience thinks it is how it must be.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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A very well-written dribble flash fiction of fifty words. When an act of a play doesn't work out as it was planned the only ones who get confused is the ones who know the script, the audience thinks it is how it must be.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Thanks very much, Sandra. I appreciate your time in reviewing my work :) Craig
Comment from Robbie Yates
Wonderful. I felt the building suspense in the auditorium as the audience wondered when it was going to finally begin. I love the way we're left not knowing what happens next (as, probably, the audience were!)
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Wonderful. I felt the building suspense in the auditorium as the audience wondered when it was going to finally begin. I love the way we're left not knowing what happens next (as, probably, the audience were!)
Comment Written 21-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Thanks very much, Robbie. I'm wondering too :) Cheers, Craig
Comment from lyenochka
Oh dear, the magician is less "astonishing" and more "astonished" or perplexed, perhaps. Maybe he needed to practical re-entering from the portal a few more times! Fun dribble fiction!
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Oh dear, the magician is less "astonishing" and more "astonished" or perplexed, perhaps. Maybe he needed to practical re-entering from the portal a few more times! Fun dribble fiction!
Comment Written 21-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Or perhaps he should have checked there WAS a way back from the other side. Many thanks, Helen.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This is a great entry. I love the juxtaposition: Applause fills the auditorium and The Astonished Alex. Very clever. I love clever writing. It shows a sharp mind at work.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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This is a great entry. I love the juxtaposition: Applause fills the auditorium and The Astonished Alex. Very clever. I love clever writing. It shows a sharp mind at work.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Thanks so much. There was a special on As at the time :) Cheers, Craig
Comment from Pamusart
Hi Craig. This makes me think of a poem I wrote about a lost town. A time traveler gets stuck in the past. If he had gotten back to his time he would have killed a girl in an accident. That girl went on to have a son who was a monster. Your poem gives me the same feeling. Man should not play with time or the occult. This seems to be a good entry for the contest. Good luck. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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Hi Craig. This makes me think of a poem I wrote about a lost town. A time traveler gets stuck in the past. If he had gotten back to his time he would have killed a girl in an accident. That girl went on to have a son who was a monster. Your poem gives me the same feeling. Man should not play with time or the occult. This seems to be a good entry for the contest. Good luck. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 20-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2018
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That raises a lot of very interesting questions, Pam. I'd be interested to read it, if you have a link. Many thanks, Craig
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It is in my portfolio. I can send it in a message
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That would be good. Or, tell me the name, but it's probably quicker for you to find it than me :)