Just Visiting
I'm glad the dark times are over.5 total reviews
Comment from meeshu
this is very good free-verse. the story is compelling and it reads like poetry, a weird concept, I know. the form is visually pleasing. good write, Beck.............meeshu
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
  |
this is very good free-verse. the story is compelling and it reads like poetry, a weird concept, I know. the form is visually pleasing. good write, Beck.............meeshu
Comment Written 17-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
-
Thank you. I'm glad you like my free verse story. It's very freeing to tell the truth softly.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Whoa. Very powerful Unfortunately this poem more universal than we'd like to think it is...on all counts.1) choosing the wrong person to help us and the consequences which ensue, 2) being the wrong person and the consequences which ensue, 3) having broken antenna or no antenna as far as being able to sense when some situation is serious. and finally, 5) Acting as if nothing has happened. It reminds me of a stark scene in Prince of Tides. You have just enough suspense leading the reader to believe that like the canaries, she would be dead too. Well written.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
 |
Whoa. Very powerful Unfortunately this poem more universal than we'd like to think it is...on all counts.1) choosing the wrong person to help us and the consequences which ensue, 2) being the wrong person and the consequences which ensue, 3) having broken antenna or no antenna as far as being able to sense when some situation is serious. and finally, 5) Acting as if nothing has happened. It reminds me of a stark scene in Prince of Tides. You have just enough suspense leading the reader to believe that like the canaries, she would be dead too. Well written.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
-
Liz, thanks for the kudos and the stars. I wrote part of this in a semi-dream state, so I knew it was important.
Comment from Cindy McIntyre
Wow! What a very intense poem/story. I am so glad your sister is better and your situation improved so you could build on your relationship. A sad story with a happy ending. This is a wonderfully written free verse. Best of luck in the contest. This is a solid entry!
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2018
|
Wow! What a very intense poem/story. I am so glad your sister is better and your situation improved so you could build on your relationship. A sad story with a happy ending. This is a wonderfully written free verse. Best of luck in the contest. This is a solid entry!
Comment Written 17-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2018
-
Thank you very much, Cindy. I'm grateful for your lovely review and stars.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Sometimes plain and simple and down to earth writing can have more impact than all the fancy metaphors and imaginative words. That is how I see this rather bald retelling of your sister's attempted suicide, recalled as you visit her today for a quiet game of cards.
I am glad to hear how much happier she is today.
Good luck in the contest.
Steve
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2018
|
Sometimes plain and simple and down to earth writing can have more impact than all the fancy metaphors and imaginative words. That is how I see this rather bald retelling of your sister's attempted suicide, recalled as you visit her today for a quiet game of cards.
I am glad to hear how much happier she is today.
Good luck in the contest.
Steve
Comment Written 17-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2018
-
Thank you so much for your review and stars! It was a good visit.
Comment from Y. M. Roger
This one of those writes that pulls my emotions so far from one end of the spectrum to the other then sideways against some far wall and the yanks them back to the middle for good measure......and leaves them there with a pat on the head to simply "carry on". :) In short, between your words and the subject, there's a lot to take in.....and you have done a wonderful, wonderful job!! :) :)
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2018
|
This one of those writes that pulls my emotions so far from one end of the spectrum to the other then sideways against some far wall and the yanks them back to the middle for good measure......and leaves them there with a pat on the head to simply "carry on". :) In short, between your words and the subject, there's a lot to take in.....and you have done a wonderful, wonderful job!! :) :)
Thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 17-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2018
-
Thank you so very much! I am honored that you have felt so many of my own emotions from over the years as I retell her and my story. I appreciate this review so much!
