Reviews from

November End

sonnet

15 total reviews 
Comment from Insignificant Weed
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Don't tell me summer is over! Just love the rhyming - well done - especially "turds and "words." It really captures the dismal signs of the season and the reason for escape. But there is no escape - we just wait for the chill while pondering the flight of the beauties of summer that so refreshed us. You cite some very visual effects such as the "moon lost in the cloud," "the autumn wind," and "the last sad cricket."
You are a wonder! These words and poem just flow out day after day. I'm impressed and really love your work. It is thoughtful although refreshing. Gives one a new slant on life.

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
    Well, your kind review and six star rating may inflate my ego until I am even more unbearable...thanks very much for taking a look at my seasonal sonnet.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yep! It is coming and the long nights by the fire will ensure for many. First stanza, third line, first word: I would suggest 'the'. Second stanza, second line, first word, suggest 'And'. And I would also suggest the following for the second stanza:

You want to leave, but can't find words to say.
A soundless, scentless farewell fills the air.
The creeping clouds won't rain, just blow away.
And weeds are brown and dead (now) they don't care.

Just a suggestion to help.

Third stanza, second line, (eye) not eyes.

I loved your words, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
    Thank you very much for reading and reviewing and for the suggestions. I shall consider each one. I tend to post in haste(posthaste?) and always find improvements with every reading. Oh, the cool front passed, the showers ended and August is back with a vengeance...maybe my seasonal sonnet was premature.
Comment from Pamusart
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Red. This is great. The poem sounds like October or late September. But I lived in Indianapolis for nine years. The only time I remember living with snow. And you are right. It seemed that the cold snap always came the week of Halloween just in time for the kiddies. Are you familiar with that pagan holiday? Your meter and rhyme are spot on. And you related it to human emotion. Thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
    Halloween is one of the major holidays around here. In the mountains, the weather tends to be cooler than most places along the 35th latitude. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my autumnal sonnet. I am pleased indeed that you felt it rated a six.
Comment from Realist101
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Red! You have written a poem that describes how I feel every fall. It's just awful for me, knowing winters' on the way. Even now, I get down knowing it's almost Sept. already. :/ I read this twice just to savor the atmosphere, even tho it's sad. I love this. S.

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
    The onset of winter is sad, and goodbyes are sad, so I tried to add them up in this sonnet. Thanks verhy much for reading and reviewing it, and it pleases me a lot that you felt it rated a six. Maybe we'll have a long Indian summer!
Comment from l.raven
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi LlJ, as much as I love the Winter snow...I must say I don't like the bitter cold....it won't be long here and Summer will be gone...and Winter will set in....I truly am not ready for it this year....I love you poem ...and love you picture...very nicely written....love Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
    As I get older, I dread the heat and the cold. I need a year of Aprils and Mays and Septembers and Octobers...thanks very much for reading and reviewing my sad sonnet about summer leaving along with youth and love.
reply by l.raven on 18-Aug-2018
    I do know what you are saying....aging truly does take the energy of youth away....we still do all we can....but would love to do more....sigh....you are always so welcome....love xxoo
Comment from country ranch writer
Excellent
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We want the sunshine to stay but the winter chill brings with it all the misery in the world. Cold bitter weather is headed your way.

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
    I need a whole year of Aprils and Octobers. The heat and cold get rougher as years pile up. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my sad sonnet about love and youth and summer all leaving together. Here in the hills, under the shade trees, summer is much cheaper than winter...
reply by country ranch writer on 18-Aug-2018
    SMILES
Comment from Ann Marie Anglin
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I loved this piece. November can be a tough month; an end to Fall, a prelude to winter. And the end of a season of love. It's hard to not be bitter, left alone to spend a cold winter alone. I love the metaphor of the dying season. Well-penned. Thanks so much for sharing this poem!

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
    You understand the message I was trying to express and I thank you very much for reading and reviewing my attempt at a seasonal sonnet. The thought that you felt it rated an exceptional six stars really makes my day.
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A terrific sonnet, Ellijay. You've inhabited your theme with all the images of sorrow and farewells.

The final couplet is gripping in its emotional chill.

Very, very nicely done.

Gloria

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
    My wife didn't walk out and leave me, but the house is just as empty. Her dog is having a bout with arthritis, so he and I pop pills and growl at each other. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing, Gloria...
Comment from damommy
Excellent
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Such lovely wording and imagery in this sonnet. It flows so smoothly and is almost lyrical.

So many wonderful lines, but I think the first two stanzas are my favorite, especially about the leaves not caring.

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
    My dog is having a bout of arthritis, and he and I sit on the porch and snarl, and I try to write sonnets. Iambs and Nsaids?
    thanks very much for reading and reviewing my seasonal outburst, even if we have a warm month or two left...
reply by damommy on 18-Aug-2018
    I enjoyed it. Do you have room for one more to sit and snarl?
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a great sonnet, Red. The meter reads correct to me. Good job on the style of the sonnet. Your rhymes are really good. The couplet does what a couplet should--sums up the other lines while offering a broader scope of the situation at the same time. Yes, you have a 'turn' in line 9.

While this is about the change, it could also be applied to how one views the changes in his/her life. Good job & thanks for sharing. This could have been a sonnet contest entry. Jan

 Comment Written 17-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
    A cool front yesterday brought showers and a feeling like summer was nearing its end. Today August is back. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing my seasonal sonnet. I think I'd like a year of Aprils.