FAMILY TIES.
Viewing comments for Chapter 75 "You And Me.""ALL IN THE FAMILY."
2 total reviews
Comment from Lady Jane
Just like a watch has a mainspring, to keep it ticking(.) - perhaps a comma here instead of a period so it carries the thought to next sentence?
Isn't it wonderful how, we can stay together; - no comma needed after 'how' :)
I'm willing, able, and (I'm) ready; - I think this would read crisper if the second "I'm" was removed like this:
I'm willing, able, and ready; - just a suggestion
Just a few nits and I'll come back and upgrade this to a 5star review. This was such a precious write full of metaphor and resounding with lovely sentiment. I only found those few errors, but feel it's a good contender in the contest. I enjoyed the read, the presentation, and the content of this very much. Your sweet letter was penned from the heart, dear rhonnie! Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Janelle
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2018
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Just like a watch has a mainspring, to keep it ticking(.) - perhaps a comma here instead of a period so it carries the thought to next sentence?
Isn't it wonderful how, we can stay together; - no comma needed after 'how' :)
I'm willing, able, and (I'm) ready; - I think this would read crisper if the second "I'm" was removed like this:
I'm willing, able, and ready; - just a suggestion
Just a few nits and I'll come back and upgrade this to a 5star review. This was such a precious write full of metaphor and resounding with lovely sentiment. I only found those few errors, but feel it's a good contender in the contest. I enjoyed the read, the presentation, and the content of this very much. Your sweet letter was penned from the heart, dear rhonnie! Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Janelle
Comment Written 12-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2018
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HI THERE, JACHERIE: Thank you for your helpful and encouraging review. I've edited this work according to your suggestion;
and, I see that it makes for the better here. I'm always glad to hear from you, Jacherie. I hear from you a lot. And you are always helpfully considerate. Thank you. Cordially: rhonnie69.
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Upgraded m, dear. And glad to help ;-)
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks lover writes a letter promising how better would their love stand and request his love to prepare fast for marrying to make a lovely living to begin; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2018
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This speaks lover writes a letter promising how better would their love stand and request his love to prepare fast for marrying to make a lovely living to begin; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 12-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2018
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Hello AlCREATOR: Thank you for your review. Thank you for the stars. You seem to understand my message here. This letter speaks to a lady that I adore and she adores me too. That's why I entitled it, "You And Me." This speaks two people who are one. Cordially: rhonnie69.