Guilt By Association-Chapter One
A cross-examination of the heart.24 total reviews
Comment from heart of Lou
You have written a very detailed chapter about a court case, which evokes curiosity about how it will all end. Of course, I'm rooting for the one who is wrongfully accused.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2018
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You have written a very detailed chapter about a court case, which evokes curiosity about how it will all end. Of course, I'm rooting for the one who is wrongfully accused.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2018
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Thank you so much for your review. It?s nice to be a writer of a Novella?it is so much fun! My characters are very real to me and I want them to be just as real to my readers as the storyline. Stay tuned!
Comment from Lady Jane
What an epic piece you have here, Sally. I couldn't put my phone down. The build up, the case, and the intriguing continuation evident in the closing of this piece. I'll be anxious to see your next offering. I found your writing clean and crisp. Pace was steady and fluid. Content intriguing and useful. I love crime mysteries. Thanks for sharing this well penned piece. Good luck in the contest, dear.
Janelle
P S
I read this on my phone. I didn't see any grammar or punctuation errors to note
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2018
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What an epic piece you have here, Sally. I couldn't put my phone down. The build up, the case, and the intriguing continuation evident in the closing of this piece. I'll be anxious to see your next offering. I found your writing clean and crisp. Pace was steady and fluid. Content intriguing and useful. I love crime mysteries. Thanks for sharing this well penned piece. Good luck in the contest, dear.
Janelle
P S
I read this on my phone. I didn't see any grammar or punctuation errors to note
Comment Written 13-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2018
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Thank you so much Janelle! I am so glad you like it. I am new to fan story and I am enjoying it immensely.
Comment from Henry King
The story, unstated but implied by the title, is the proving of innocence of a person. The Prosecutor's modus operandi is to prove the defendant guilty by association. That is an excellent premise for a novella. The Prosecutor is described very pointedly as the villain. The Defense Attorney, of course, is described exactly opposite. Well done.
My problems with the story: 1. The blatant tarring of the DA and the fluffing of the Defense Attorney. I have been an Expert Witness on a few cases. More times than not, your description is exactly the opposite. 2. You wrote, "The court reporter ... is sitting right of the witness stand." The word right needs a preposition, either "to the right" or "on the right". 3. In the paragraph about the Bible. You need to explain which He or he you are writing about. And, make sure you are capitalizing the correct He.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2018
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The story, unstated but implied by the title, is the proving of innocence of a person. The Prosecutor's modus operandi is to prove the defendant guilty by association. That is an excellent premise for a novella. The Prosecutor is described very pointedly as the villain. The Defense Attorney, of course, is described exactly opposite. Well done.
My problems with the story: 1. The blatant tarring of the DA and the fluffing of the Defense Attorney. I have been an Expert Witness on a few cases. More times than not, your description is exactly the opposite. 2. You wrote, "The court reporter ... is sitting right of the witness stand." The word right needs a preposition, either "to the right" or "on the right". 3. In the paragraph about the Bible. You need to explain which He or he you are writing about. And, make sure you are capitalizing the correct He.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2018
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Thank you Henry for your review and critique. Duly noted. He capitalized in the Bible, in my understanding is always capitalized when describing the Godhead. I will make sure in the future that the ?He? is clearly defined. I do not want to confuse my readers.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from fm wright
I was intrigued from the start. Each word seemed carefully picked for description and effect. I could find no error in syntax, punctuation or train of thought. It flowed so smoothly that I wasn't ready for it to end. Also I can't help wondering what happens next. I like the Bible texts you used as well.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018
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I was intrigued from the start. Each word seemed carefully picked for description and effect. I could find no error in syntax, punctuation or train of thought. It flowed so smoothly that I wasn't ready for it to end. Also I can't help wondering what happens next. I like the Bible texts you used as well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2018
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Thank you so much! This type of writing is new for me and I am surprised at how much I love it. I do appreciate your feedback.
