Guilt By Association-Chapter One
A cross-examination of the heart.24 total reviews
Comment from Mabaker
This entry would be okay for a select group of reviewers especially those into Crime and Retribution type of story. But, please increase your font size, it takes a lot of reading and losing the plot when it is so small. Good Luck.
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2018
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This entry would be okay for a select group of reviewers especially those into Crime and Retribution type of story. But, please increase your font size, it takes a lot of reading and losing the plot when it is so small. Good Luck.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2018
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Thank you for the excellent review. I am sight impaired and legally blind. I am sorry you had trouble reading my article. I will get that fixed as soon as possible. Thanks for hanging in there with me.
Kindest regards,
Sally
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Dear Sally, I'm 76 and not vision impaired, but I wonder what program? I use Windows 10. Go to the top of the menu bar and you will see a whole lot of names. Home Insert View and others. Click on Home and a drop-down menu come with everything to do with Windows. Directly below Drive you will find a box which is your Font Name and beside it you will see Font sizes. I have my Font on Book Antiqua size 18. Hope this helps. Anne
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Thank you Anne. I use an IPad Pro because it has Retina display. I will see how my hubby can help here. Blessings dear?
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You are very welcome, Sincerely Anne
Comment from royowen
I enjoyed this post. I'm glad it's Christian, I understand in simple terms, not as the modern mumbo jumbo concerning law. I like the way you have laid out the setting for the legal case to go ahead, it's all set in place, the lawyers, jurors, jury and spectators, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
Typo : Reporters really hate to (loose) their good spot in a courtroom.lose?
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2018
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I enjoyed this post. I'm glad it's Christian, I understand in simple terms, not as the modern mumbo jumbo concerning law. I like the way you have laid out the setting for the legal case to go ahead, it's all set in place, the lawyers, jurors, jury and spectators, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
Typo : Reporters really hate to (loose) their good spot in a courtroom.lose?
Comment Written 19-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2018
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Thank you so much for the excellent review. I am so glad you liked it. No one caught the typo, thank you. I will fix that right now.
All my best,
Sally
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Welcome Sally
Comment from Jacqueline O.
Although the story line is interesting, there are some basic semantic issues that need to be addressed. The time orientation (past, present, and future) is frequently changed, sometimes within the same sentence. This makes the narrative jolting and somewhat awkward to read. Also of note is the tendency to employ on-the-nose narration and laundry list descriptions. I did like the metaphor of "unraveling an old sweater", though, and found a good portion of the narration to be both fresh and original. In summary, though the passage requires detailed line-by-line work, with the help of a good editor and some effort it could be quite passable. Keep up the good work!
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Although the story line is interesting, there are some basic semantic issues that need to be addressed. The time orientation (past, present, and future) is frequently changed, sometimes within the same sentence. This makes the narrative jolting and somewhat awkward to read. Also of note is the tendency to employ on-the-nose narration and laundry list descriptions. I did like the metaphor of "unraveling an old sweater", though, and found a good portion of the narration to be both fresh and original. In summary, though the passage requires detailed line-by-line work, with the help of a good editor and some effort it could be quite passable. Keep up the good work!
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate the critique.
All my best,
Sally
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
I think your start to this novelette looks promising. It starts of well with the courtroom scene rather than a lot of backstory. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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I think your start to this novelette looks promising. It starts of well with the courtroom scene rather than a lot of backstory. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 18-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Thank you so much for the excellent review. I am so glad you liked it.
All the best,
Sally
Comment from Liz O'Neill
One of my favorite lines: " This guy lost a few cases from time to time, but no one could remember exactly when that was. " You create just enough suspense and mystery to keep the reader's attention. Another favorite analogy: "unravel his defense like a cheap, threadbare sweater. " Your setting is great which beckons the fine imagery and the characters and the plot. Is this line a foreshadowing? "Nothing changed right away, at least in the courtroom that was obvious to the physical eye. " The ending is just right. Well written.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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One of my favorite lines: " This guy lost a few cases from time to time, but no one could remember exactly when that was. " You create just enough suspense and mystery to keep the reader's attention. Another favorite analogy: "unravel his defense like a cheap, threadbare sweater. " Your setting is great which beckons the fine imagery and the characters and the plot. Is this line a foreshadowing? "Nothing changed right away, at least in the courtroom that was obvious to the physical eye. " The ending is just right. Well written.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2018
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Thank you so much for the excellent rating. I appreciate what you liked in the specific details of my story.
All the best,
Sally
Comment from meeshu
nicely written, with exceptional descriptions of characters and courtroom. very good scene-set-up. a good place to pause the story with mysterious information coming in..
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2018
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nicely written, with exceptional descriptions of characters and courtroom. very good scene-set-up. a good place to pause the story with mysterious information coming in..
Comment Written 17-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2018
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Thank you so much for the excellent review. Novellas are a lot of fun. I am so glad you liked it. Blessings.
Sally
Comment from johnwilson
The premise of this chapter is wonderful. I love your descriptions of both lawyers. I felt that I knew their characters. I also like the title as it pertains to the God association of the perhaps innocent defendant. I would read this aloud to yourself, so that you can discover some incomplete or incorrectly written sentences--just a matter of editing. Good work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2018
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The premise of this chapter is wonderful. I love your descriptions of both lawyers. I felt that I knew their characters. I also like the title as it pertains to the God association of the perhaps innocent defendant. I would read this aloud to yourself, so that you can discover some incomplete or incorrectly written sentences--just a matter of editing. Good work!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2018
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Thank you so much John for your review. I will look at my story with new eyes and make the necessary corrections. I appreciate the critique.
All my best,
Sally
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello Anon, courtroom dramas are always interesting so you've chosen a good situation for your novelette, part one. I enjoyed it and your dialogue is good and you set the scene very well. It will be interesting to see where you take this from here. Good luck in the competition and thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2018
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Hello Anon, courtroom dramas are always interesting so you've chosen a good situation for your novelette, part one. I enjoyed it and your dialogue is good and you set the scene very well. It will be interesting to see where you take this from here. Good luck in the competition and thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2018
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Thank you very much for the review and rating. I am so glad you enjoyed it. I never knew Novellas could be so much fun!
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello Anon, courtroom dramas are always interesting so you've chosen a good situation for your novelette, part one. I enjoyed it and your dialogue is good and you set the scene very well. It will be interesting to see where you take this from here. Good luck in the competition and thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2018
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Hello Anon, courtroom dramas are always interesting so you've chosen a good situation for your novelette, part one. I enjoyed it and your dialogue is good and you set the scene very well. It will be interesting to see where you take this from here. Good luck in the competition and thanks for sharing your writing, Ana.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2018
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Thank you very much for your review and rating. I am so glad you enjoyed it. I never knew Novellas could be so much fun!
Comment from Adri7enne
Court room dramas are immensely popular these days. I easily get hooked on them. It seems your story will be told from the viewpoint of the defendant and his defense attorneys. You've set it up well.
Please try this suggestion:
"The only SOUNDS heard in this moment, IS the constant clicking of the camera; mingled with a few coughs." SOUND. Make the verb agree with the subject. "The only sound heard is."
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2018
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Court room dramas are immensely popular these days. I easily get hooked on them. It seems your story will be told from the viewpoint of the defendant and his defense attorneys. You've set it up well.
Please try this suggestion:
"The only SOUNDS heard in this moment, IS the constant clicking of the camera; mingled with a few coughs." SOUND. Make the verb agree with the subject. "The only sound heard is."
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2018
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Thank you for your review and critique. I appreciate it very much. I will correct that right now with the edit feature. Stay turned for Part Two!
