Loophole
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Tape II"All chapters
6 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Great use of the tape recorder. They can use Ronald's words to help wrap up the case. Sterling certainly isn't a sterling character (that makes a good name for him, then). The Heffernen brothers have revenge on their minds. It seems getting even is more important to them than the money. Great story. judi
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2018
  |
Great use of the tape recorder. They can use Ronald's words to help wrap up the case. Sterling certainly isn't a sterling character (that makes a good name for him, then). The Heffernen brothers have revenge on their minds. It seems getting even is more important to them than the money. Great story. judi
Comment Written 14-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2018
-
Thanks for checking in, Judi.
That might have been the longest deathbed confession on record. Sterling kinda blackmailed Ronald in to helping rob the bank by threatening to tell the Heffernan brothers where to find one of the people who cheated them out of a thousand dollars.
Marv
-
You're welcome. It seems logical, and it helped close the case. judi
Comment from pbomar1115
As the detectives listen to the tape, they attempt to learn the motive of the criminal's thinking. While each of the detectives has their own guess why the criminal reveal certain information, they listen to the tape for a better understanding. I wonder what comes next.
Phillip
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2018
|
As the detectives listen to the tape, they attempt to learn the motive of the criminal's thinking. While each of the detectives has their own guess why the criminal reveal certain information, they listen to the tape for a better understanding. I wonder what comes next.
Phillip
Comment Written 10-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2018
-
Thank you, Phillip, for your review.
At this point, everyone knows that the bank manager, Herman Sterling, his wife, Trudy La Scola, a teller at the bank, and an acquaintance of Sterling's, Ronald Roman, are in on the robbery.
Roman is participating because, if he doesn't. Sterling will tell a pair of nasty brothers that he helped cheat them out of a thousand dollars in a card game.
The reason Trudy's last name is different is because of a bank policy, forbidding relatives to work in the same branch. Her reason for agreeing to participate hasn't been revealed yet, but it's a big one.
Thanks for the five stars.
Marv
-
Oh. Thanks, Marv.
Phillip
Comment from pome lover
Good goin', MM!
I love "hijacking the Queen Mary" and "a beer truck would be nice," and "He'd show up before I hit the ground." All good, phrases showing the personalities of the speaker. What a plan. Methinks you have a criminal mind. (kidding)
I see dear old Loophole is still rearing it's head. Too bad there's no way you can write "them" a letter of inquiry. what if you did contact them and said, "so in so is the title of my story and I am trying to add chapters and you won't let me. we have a problem.??
Anyway. good chapter! and good luck.
pome lover
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2018
|
Good goin', MM!
I love "hijacking the Queen Mary" and "a beer truck would be nice," and "He'd show up before I hit the ground." All good, phrases showing the personalities of the speaker. What a plan. Methinks you have a criminal mind. (kidding)
I see dear old Loophole is still rearing it's head. Too bad there's no way you can write "them" a letter of inquiry. what if you did contact them and said, "so in so is the title of my story and I am trying to add chapters and you won't let me. we have a problem.??
Anyway. good chapter! and good luck.
pome lover
Comment Written 10-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2018
-
Thank you for reviewing.
I'm glad you picked out certain phrases. For some reason, that means a lot.
Your suggestion is worth a shot.
Thanks for all your kind words.
I can't imagine having to come up with a murder plot, year after year, but I'm looking forward to trying.
Marv
-
you'll do it fine, I know.
and you're welcome!!
Comment from heart of Lou
Good writing. It's a little difficult knowing what's going on from just reading an excerpt like this, but your writing style is fast-paced and exciting. Why do you have it in italics?
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2018
|
Good writing. It's a little difficult knowing what's going on from just reading an excerpt like this, but your writing style is fast-paced and exciting. Why do you have it in italics?
Comment Written 10-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2018
-
Thank you for reviewing.
The italics are for the words they're hearing on a tape recorder. I also use them for thoughts in a character's head.
Thanks for the compliments.
Please drop in again.
The story is almost finished.
Marv
Comment from giraffmang
Good continuation of the piece here, detailing Ronald's planning. Pretty clean write as well.
By planting two ideas in his head . . . ," - you don't need the comma following the ellipsis.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2018
|
Good continuation of the piece here, detailing Ronald's planning. Pretty clean write as well.
By planting two ideas in his head . . . ," - you don't need the comma following the ellipsis.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2018
-
Thanks, giraffmang, for pointing out these things.
I'm glad you liked this chapter. Thanks for the compliments.
Thank you for the 5 stars.
Marv
Comment from Gloria ....
Ha, a ride in a beer truck is certainly much preferred to your regular style ambulance.
I think you are right that revenge may be an even more powerful force than money, Marv. And yes two plans is about enough to fool everyone except for the most cynical.
This is a zany tale which is what makes it so interesting. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2018
|
Ha, a ride in a beer truck is certainly much preferred to your regular style ambulance.
I think you are right that revenge may be an even more powerful force than money, Marv. And yes two plans is about enough to fool everyone except for the most cynical.
This is a zany tale which is what makes it so interesting. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 10-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2018
-
Thanks for reviewing and keeping up with this murder mystery.
I like the word, 'zany'.
There are a lot of ambulances in this story.
Thank you for the five stars.
?. . . so interesting.? is a nice compliment. Thank you.
Marv
