Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

I enjoyed reading your short story. Good job with including everything that a story should. I believe seeing his reflection in the window, his 30th birthday, & comparing himself to his dad made him think about getting a briefcase. Thanks for sharing. Jan

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2018

---

reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018

Thanks for a great reveiw zanya

Comment from tfawcus

Excellent

Thirty - maybe a bit early for a mid-life crisis. However, these are the kind of thoughts that can race through the mind when the first few grey hairs start to appear. Talking of grey hairs, I don't think you need a comma here - "A few grey hairs shone brightly(,) through his mop of black curls" or either of these two commas: "a few(,) telltale(,) grey hairs".
A reflective piece of writing with good internal dialogue. Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2018

---

reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018

Yes - think mid life crisis is arrviing earlier for the young generation- they seem to have so much living done by the grand old age of 30!!! thanks for reading zanya

Comment from Raul1

Excellent

Interesting story. I think that people texting in Facebook really enjoy their times with family and friends. You have this story complete. It has the when,where,what, and how as a story. Well done!

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2018

---

reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018

Great review zanya

reply by Raul1 on 09-Aug-2018

You're welcome

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Sometimes it is...wanderlust can drive us from responsibility and our true fulfillment.
I like the description of those gray hairs shining through that he mop of curls.
It is happening to my son...crows feet too...how dare they
God bless

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2018

---

reply by the author on 09-Aug-2018

Enjoyed reading this review !zanya