My Home Town, The Road to Nowhere
My small hometown through eyes 18 and 7015 total reviews
Comment from Aussie
Well done you! Memories always take us back to our roots. I'm older than you, still, even though you are not well; we all need one last look. Small country towns seem to now attract druggies and drunks. They like to hide away from larger towns. I voted for you because I think it important to tell the story of our beginnings. I also suggesed the contest. Blessings my friend, K.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Well done you! Memories always take us back to our roots. I'm older than you, still, even though you are not well; we all need one last look. Small country towns seem to now attract druggies and drunks. They like to hide away from larger towns. I voted for you because I think it important to tell the story of our beginnings. I also suggesed the contest. Blessings my friend, K.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2018
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Thank you for many things today, Aussie; reading this poem, sharing your thoughts, another bright six stars and for suggesting this contest and voting for me! Linda
Comment from robyn corum
Linda,
I assume this Linda is you? I'm not sure that the way this place is described would make many of us long to visit there, much less move there. *smile* But I have to imagine that living there yourself would be quite different. I'm quite sure it's a marvelous home town. *smile*
A few notes, if you'll permit?
1.) "Dancing in the Street" to current rock music (from) 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.
2.) A good rule of thumb is to spell out all numbers under ten, please
3.) The town(')s prejudices were quiet and enforced.
4.) blacks, Jews, (Asians), gays or hippies ruining their town
5.) With the exception of bars (5) and churches (9), there were few choices of stores in which to shop
--> this kinda makes it sound like you shop in the bars and churches?
6.) cow who had escaped and (was) found meandering down a country road
Thanks - I enjoyed! And good luck!
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
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Linda,
I assume this Linda is you? I'm not sure that the way this place is described would make many of us long to visit there, much less move there. *smile* But I have to imagine that living there yourself would be quite different. I'm quite sure it's a marvelous home town. *smile*
A few notes, if you'll permit?
1.) "Dancing in the Street" to current rock music (from) 7 p.m. to 10 p.m.
2.) A good rule of thumb is to spell out all numbers under ten, please
3.) The town(')s prejudices were quiet and enforced.
4.) blacks, Jews, (Asians), gays or hippies ruining their town
5.) With the exception of bars (5) and churches (9), there were few choices of stores in which to shop
--> this kinda makes it sound like you shop in the bars and churches?
6.) cow who had escaped and (was) found meandering down a country road
Thanks - I enjoyed! And good luck!
Comment Written 05-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
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Thank you, Robyn! Linda
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
This is where the "untouchables" lived. The houses were all tiny, square and neglected, just like the families within. These were the families whose fathers either didn't work at all, or very little. What income he earned went directly to buy booze. Each family had about 8 children. They had a few clothes never washed and no one bathed. During the winter months, they never had adequate warm clothes, coats, boots, mittens, to keep them protected from the cold. They had little food, mom and/or dad were usually intoxicated and there were frequent child beatings and fights. During the hot and humid part of summer, when you drove through Birdland, the terrible smell was enough to keep your gag reflexes working overtime. All house windows and doors would be open due to the heat so the dirty smells from inside the houses would waft outside. One boy who lived there, Raymond, was caught stealing her lunch several weeks in a row. On the walk home from school, he would dig through garbage cans along the way to find discarded food. When his sister would admonish him for this, he would loudly complain that he was hungry. He was quite thin and looked hungry. And, Birdland remains the same today because all those neglected kids grew up and continued the cycle, generation after generation...I found this unbelievably sad but also deeply touching. Well done this is a beautiful and sensitive entry for the competition and you certainly have nailed it here, well done this is superb kindest regards Meia xx
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
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This is where the "untouchables" lived. The houses were all tiny, square and neglected, just like the families within. These were the families whose fathers either didn't work at all, or very little. What income he earned went directly to buy booze. Each family had about 8 children. They had a few clothes never washed and no one bathed. During the winter months, they never had adequate warm clothes, coats, boots, mittens, to keep them protected from the cold. They had little food, mom and/or dad were usually intoxicated and there were frequent child beatings and fights. During the hot and humid part of summer, when you drove through Birdland, the terrible smell was enough to keep your gag reflexes working overtime. All house windows and doors would be open due to the heat so the dirty smells from inside the houses would waft outside. One boy who lived there, Raymond, was caught stealing her lunch several weeks in a row. On the walk home from school, he would dig through garbage cans along the way to find discarded food. When his sister would admonish him for this, he would loudly complain that he was hungry. He was quite thin and looked hungry. And, Birdland remains the same today because all those neglected kids grew up and continued the cycle, generation after generation...I found this unbelievably sad but also deeply touching. Well done this is a beautiful and sensitive entry for the competition and you certainly have nailed it here, well done this is superb kindest regards Meia xx
Comment Written 05-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
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Thank you, Linda
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a good job detailing your hometown for the contest, Linda. I could envision all that you mentioned. You provided much info in a logical way. Your descriptive words of your hometown make it easy to 'see' what you described. Your lines/paragraphs flow smoothly & at a quick pace regarding the length. I got the feeling that you did enjoy some of what your small town offered, you missed some of that feeling, but you only want to return to reminisce--not live there. Good job & best wishes. Jan
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
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You did a good job detailing your hometown for the contest, Linda. I could envision all that you mentioned. You provided much info in a logical way. Your descriptive words of your hometown make it easy to 'see' what you described. Your lines/paragraphs flow smoothly & at a quick pace regarding the length. I got the feeling that you did enjoy some of what your small town offered, you missed some of that feeling, but you only want to return to reminisce--not live there. Good job & best wishes. Jan
Comment Written 05-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
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Thank you, Jan. Linda
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This is an excellent entry in the My Home Town contest. According to my personal psychic advisor, you will win and send me half the funny money. Thanks in advance.
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This is an excellent entry in the My Home Town contest. According to my personal psychic advisor, you will win and send me half the funny money. Thanks in advance.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2018
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Doesn't sound like a nice place to be from. I wouldn't go back. But I guess you have memories that surpass the decadence there. I grew up in the fifties as well. There was one black boy in our school class. He lived on a farm. I don't recall any prejudice against blacks, but the protestants looked down their noses at us Catholics.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
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Doesn't sound like a nice place to be from. I wouldn't go back. But I guess you have memories that surpass the decadence there. I grew up in the fifties as well. There was one black boy in our school class. He lived on a farm. I don't recall any prejudice against blacks, but the protestants looked down their noses at us Catholics.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
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Phyllis: if one likes the peacefulness of small towns, it is fine. I wanted to see more. There is less crime there than in the big cities but also less opportunities. Thanks for reading. Linda
Comment from heart of Lou
Oh, I love your story about your hometown. It sounds very laidback, and prejudiced like people were back then. I did find several typos that you may wish to fix: poured over books should be pored
bargans should be bargains
town's should be towns
Asian's should be Asians
1960' should be 1960s
venders should be vendors
condusive should be conducive
Just thought you might want to go through and do corrections. The story is great!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
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Oh, I love your story about your hometown. It sounds very laidback, and prejudiced like people were back then. I did find several typos that you may wish to fix: poured over books should be pored
bargans should be bargains
town's should be towns
Asian's should be Asians
1960' should be 1960s
venders should be vendors
condusive should be conducive
Just thought you might want to go through and do corrections. The story is great!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
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Lou: thanks so much for reading and finding needed corrections. Is that why you rated this poem a 4? livelylinda
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Yes. I am new but I read the instructions on how to review, and it says to give honest feedback, and constructive criticism. Without the typos, your story would be even better.
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O.K. Just checking if the typos downgraded the score, which it did, and there were more than I usually have. I rather rushed the finish. Thank you for your help. livelylinda
Comment from apky
That's the very God's truth - there is never any place like home.
You have woven a wonderful "wanderlust" story that nearly any one of us can identify with or knows somebody else who can. It reminded me of myself and my hsband - we've been to just about every corner of the world and had both bad and terrific time. But whenever we got back to any of our homes, it was always the most special place to be.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
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That's the very God's truth - there is never any place like home.
You have woven a wonderful "wanderlust" story that nearly any one of us can identify with or knows somebody else who can. It reminded me of myself and my hsband - we've been to just about every corner of the world and had both bad and terrific time. But whenever we got back to any of our homes, it was always the most special place to be.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
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apky: thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts. livelylinda
Comment from Debbie Pope
What a touching story, Linda. Your love for your hometown is inspirational, Your ill health and need to return is heart breaking.
I have read several of these My Hometown pieces. Writer's talk about exotic places like Spain and the Outback. Lapeer, Michigan is my favorite. It is real. I love that you can count the homosexuals. That fact defined it more than anything. Everyone knows each other enough to make that count.
I hope you make it back to Lapeer, and I hope you win the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
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What a touching story, Linda. Your love for your hometown is inspirational, Your ill health and need to return is heart breaking.
I have read several of these My Hometown pieces. Writer's talk about exotic places like Spain and the Outback. Lapeer, Michigan is my favorite. It is real. I love that you can count the homosexuals. That fact defined it more than anything. Everyone knows each other enough to make that count.
I hope you make it back to Lapeer, and I hope you win the contest.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
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Debbie: thank you so much for reading and you have left the greatest review of all. You have been able to understand the heart of this writing. Again, thank you. Linda
Comment from Mastery
This essay is very well done, Linda. I enjoyed reading it because it was narrated in such a truly "folksy" mode. It was as if I was sitting across from you while you told about Lapeer. I know right where that is by the way. It's a wonder the girl didn't go farther south to the big city of Detroit.
Only two other comments. One, some of your paragraphs are extremely long and need to be trimmed. and two, you tend to drift in and out of present and past tense back and forth. It is always best to stay in one or the other. Most likely with this story, you should narrate it aall in "past tense"
I enjoyed the read nonetheless and wish you the best of luck in the contest. Blessings, my friend. Bob
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
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This essay is very well done, Linda. I enjoyed reading it because it was narrated in such a truly "folksy" mode. It was as if I was sitting across from you while you told about Lapeer. I know right where that is by the way. It's a wonder the girl didn't go farther south to the big city of Detroit.
Only two other comments. One, some of your paragraphs are extremely long and need to be trimmed. and two, you tend to drift in and out of present and past tense back and forth. It is always best to stay in one or the other. Most likely with this story, you should narrate it aall in "past tense"
I enjoyed the read nonetheless and wish you the best of luck in the contest. Blessings, my friend. Bob
Comment Written 04-Aug-2018
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
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Thank you, Bob, for this wonderful review. Why the girl (me) didn't move to Detroit is because the girl worked in Detroit at one point in her life and didn't like what she saw there. I am always surprised when I meet someone who is somewhat familiar with Lapeer. I really appreciate you pointing out my extra long paragraphs and tense problem. Both are issues of which I struggle.
God bless you. Linda
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You are a wonderful writer other than those two points. and we all have our nemesis don't we? :) Bob