Reviews from

Saving The World

Invaded contest entry (Humor)

7 total reviews 
Comment from LynnetteOK
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is the cutest story of an alien invasion I've ever read. The 'accent' really adds a lot to it. I really enjoyed reading it. Your creativity showed up strong.
Best of luck in the contest.
LynnetteOK

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
    Thank you for the fantastic review, LynnetteOK. I really appreciate the gracious stars and good luck wishes. I'm glad you liked this silly story.
Comment from misscookie
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted


Not only did you captured my attention so early this morning but you tickled my funny bone
Love the wife she was awesome
Thank you for sharing this delightful story
Cookie

 Comment Written 04-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 05-Aug-2018
    Thank you for the fantastic review, Cookie. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars. I'm glad you enjoyed this silly little story. Have a great rest of your weekend.
reply by misscookie on 05-Aug-2018
    Your very welcome it was my pleasure I had a very blessed day with God help my prayers were answered today by my heart doctor.
    Take care
    Cookie
Comment from kiwijenny
Excellent
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I was lost for words and, I'll admit, a little bit crap my pantsy.......I might have said ...and I crapped a little bit in my pantsy... I mean who wouldn't ...cute taking the alien to the ladder...the ladle ...the litter...and it's so great you know your wife's leadership qualities
God bless...enjoyed it

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2018
    Thank you for the great review, Kiwi J. I'll give that line some thought. I really appreciate the generous stars. I'm glad you liked this silly thing. Have a wonderful day.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
Excellent
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This is very funny. It's a great contest entry. It reminds me of a Tom and Carol story I wrote. They are visited by little green men from Zyrtec who decided to trade bodies with them.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 02-Aug-2018
    Thank you for the great review, Thomas. That sounds like a great concept. I'll have to check it out. I really appreciate the generous stars. I'm glad you liked this silly thing. Have a great day.
Comment from robyn corum
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Dear Mystery Writer,

Oh, this was fun! It was so far off from what I might have expected -- (or might have written, had I been in your shoes!) That's what I loved most about it... the utter unpredictability. The idea of showing the aliens your WIFE as your leader? Sheer brilliance -- although, it probably also shows a great deal of honesty.

What fun! And really well-written -- the pace was great and helped set the scene for the final punchline. Great job! You MUST win. I'm pulling for you! Goo dluck!

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018
    Thank you so much for the fantastic review and the big sixer, Robyn. I had this silly idea in my head for a few days but didn't think I was going to be able to reach the minimum word count for the contest. I was in the mood this morning, so I gave it a go and it worked. I always get a kick out writing humorous stuff. I dearly appreciate the gracious stars and good luck wishes. I'm glad you liked this silliness. Thank you again. Have a wonderful day.
Comment from giraffmang
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi there,

This is a fun, solid entry for the competition. Engaging and funny.

few things I thought about whilst reading through-

Using dialectal tics or accents is a hard thing to pull off, especially keeping it consistent. For example in paragraph one you use fer for for, but in paragraph two, you just use for.

pearched up on
three legs- this may be a tic but perched.

just went on it's merry way - its (this wouldn't be explained by a dialectal tic as it would be pronounced exactly the same).

Oddly enough, I thought to myself - perhaps use ma-self here to maintain the dialect.

They were a might intimidatin' - I think in this instance it would be mite.

whereabouts of president Reagan - President is normally capitalised.

I thunk of was 'Dumb Earthling- you need to close the quote mark here.

a little louder that time. - A.

so the only answer I thunk of / I went with the first thing I thought of - inconsistency in the word pronunciations.

"This is the way to
your leader? It asked - need closing speech marks here. Also should be it, as following speech tags should be lower case unless a proper noun or name.

"Are you this planet's leader? - need closing speech marks here.

All the best
GMG

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018
    Thanks for the review and help.
Comment from L E Scott
Excellent
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I liked the narrator's voice. I could hear the hill-billy type accent in my head as I read it. This was an awesome piece. I figured that sooner or later he was going to take them to (well to be honest I thought he was talking about his mother when he said ma) but then it turned out to be his wife. I wonder what the two of them did with the spaceship.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2018


reply by the author on 01-Aug-2018
    Thank you for the great review, L E S. Yeah, the 'ma' was suppose to be 'my' with the accent. I still might add where now they have the spaceship as like a lawn decoration or something, lol. I really appreciate the generous stars. I'm glad you liked this silly thing. Have a great day